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Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for
some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from
the University of Georgia and I need some help.
If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana
'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years
later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and
said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck
from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side
of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front
of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and
was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of
his pickup into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here,
'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'bout the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin'
an' movin' North.


NRA LIFE MEMBER
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
ESPECIALLY THE SNIPERS!
"Suppose you were an idiot And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
-Mark Twain
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My face is stuck from laughing !!!!!!!!!

I hate you right now.


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I liked it all but the first joke. Nobody from the South uses Y'all, when talking to one person. Other than that, it was good. miles


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I was taught that the plural of y'all is all y'all.


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Them's good!

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Originally Posted by milespatton
I liked it all but the first joke. Nobody from the South uses Y'all, when talking to one person. Other than that, it was good. miles


Gotta love Yankees trying to speak & write southern!

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Once when I was traveling in Florida I stopped at a gas station/convenience store to ask for directions to a local park. I went up to the young lady behind the counter and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to Wekiva Springs?" She gave me this blank stare and said, "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?" It took her longer to say that one word then it did for me to ask my entire question. I just looked back at that blank stare and said, "Uh, never mind." When I got back in the car my wife asked, "Did you get the directions?" I told her, "Nope." She says, "Why not!" I told her of the exchange and added, "I don't think we have enough time."

True story.

Last edited by cooper57m; 06/30/15.
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I fail to see the humor above...I just read and nodded my head in agreement.


You only live once, but...if you do it right, once is enough.
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Originally Posted by Godogs57
I fail to see the humor above...I just read and nodded my head in agreement.


My sentiments exactly.


Originally Posted by Mannlicher
America needs to understand that our troops are not 'disposable'. Each represents a family; Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Cousins, Uncles, Aunts... Our Citizens are our most valuable treasure; we waste far too many.
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Very good. Enjoyed this post. Thanks

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Originally Posted by Cariboujack

Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'bout the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin'
an' movin' North.


Word


and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)

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Quote
It took her longer to say that one word then it did for me to ask my entire question.


See, you talked too fast. miles


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YEP!:)


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I especially liked the Georga and TN jokes..

Cooper57M. I'm from the south and I still get surprised. Just recently we were discussing my mother moving to an assisted living facility with the staff.. We asked if there were any special items she needed and the occupational therapist spoke up and said "she will needs share chair" I had to ask what a share chair was and she said " you know for when she gets up and takes her share in the morning". I then realized she was saying shower.

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I especially liked the Georga and TN jokes..

Cooper57M. I'm from the south and I still get surprised. Just recently we were discussing my mother moving to an assisted living facility with the staff.. We asked if there were any special items she needed and the occupational therapist spoke up and said "she will needs share chair" I had to ask what a share chair was and she said " you know for when she gets up and takes her share in the morning". I hen realized she was saying shower.

The plural of y'all is you' ns

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I liked them all but the one about Louisiana is incorrect. We're not 20 years behind, we're 50 years behind. And that's a good thing.

Last edited by websterparish47; 07/01/15.
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And no 'Bama or Auburn jokes ok. Roll Tide(Pronounced "Roll Tahd" for those of y'all nonSouthern.)


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Best 'thang' bout livin in Louisiana is that it don't go nowhere!!


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Originally Posted by cooper57m
Once when I was traveling in Florida I stopped at a gas station/convenience store to ask for directions to a local park. I went up to the young lady behind the counter and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to Wekiva Springs?" She gave me this blank stare and said, "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?" It took her longer to say that one word then it did for me to ask my entire question. I just looked back at that blank stare and said, "Uh, never mind." When I got back in the car my wife asked, "Did you get the directions?" I told her, "Nope." She says, "Why not!" I told her of the exchange and added, "I don't think we have enough time."

True story.


If you love NY, take I-95N.


Originally Posted by Mannlicher
America needs to understand that our troops are not 'disposable'. Each represents a family; Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Cousins, Uncles, Aunts... Our Citizens are our most valuable treasure; we waste far too many.
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Actually I prefer to take Rt 81 & Rt 77.

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