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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,445
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,445 |
Dear Friends,
I am sorry that I have not been very responsive lately to your E-mails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apathetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF).
For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person's entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF.
Symptoms include: severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists; having uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly Factor; loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice; extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people; and…bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host.
Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself.
If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of 2016.
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
Robert E. Howard
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,065
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,065 |
oh good...I thought it was a STD
Defend the Constitution
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,648
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,648 |
So you're the a$$hole that gave it to me!
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,235
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,235 |
Damn! I have almost all those symptoms except the heartburn. Do you suppose that's because I never watch O'ReallY?
Other than that, though, I'm genuinely PIST-AWF too.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,490
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,490 |
Would be funny if not so true!
Bob
Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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