Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Alaska Wow a doozy of a thread

"Presence of palmation or not"……… wow! That means there must be a few 30-somethings, perhaps even 40 -somethings, that could be "forks". That little guy is too close to call, kind of like shooting a "I'm absolutely positive it's a 50 or 51 inch moose" and approaching it with crossed fingers.

It just seems that there was a hell of a lot of indignation expressed in that thread by unknowing folks without a review of the facts.

Yeah what's the big secret up in Delta over this whole thing?? Is their some General hospital/One life to live soap opera stuff going on up their??

Locals knew both parents, and both were from good families; ie, both had excellent genes for producing both great architecture (on top) as well as excellent table fare. Locals identify this junior w/ Mom. Locals expect good things and junior nubs out early just as expected. Junior's nubs look legal early; ie. forking out. Junior is identified as an excellent prospect for first-time local hunter, 12-year-old Jessica S. As summer progresses, nubs begin to show some palmation and the determination is made - repeatedly mind you- by several different locals, that Junior is going to be too close to call and therefore another victim prospect should be sought for young Jessica.

September arrives as scheduled. Out-of-towner arrives in vehicle too new to suit locals. Out-of-towner sees Junior and determines that he has small antlers. Out-of-towner digs out shiny cased rifle and proceeds to uncase said rifle. Out-of-towner looks for 'shells' for too-shiny 300 RUM but manages only to secure shells for the 300 Win Mag he used to own but couldn't hit anything with;

[scene fades as a break is taken for a word from the sponsor, Gambling & Proctology]

We return to find Out-of-towner finally locating 2 RUM 'shells' and shoving them into mag. Mag gets jammed when 'shells' are not fully seated to the rear. Thankfully the rifle is a "wrong-for-the-locals" brand which happens to have a floorplate. Floorplate is opened and 'shells' are evacuated onto terra aqua/firma. One 'shell' disappears into the deep thatch of the tundra but the head of one is still visible like a shiny coin. Out-of-towner snags said 'shell' and drops it into the gaping chamber of the wrong brand of rifle (according to the locals). Out-of-towner raises rifle whose floorplate dangles openly. Rifle roars to life. A tremendous thwap is heard by those who are far enough from the rifle to hear anything besides. Junior gasps and coughs and falters. Everyone does a mental 'high-five' (there are no hunting show cameras rolling, obviating the need to do the actual thing).

Junior fails to show up for afternoon tea. By suppertime Search-and-Rescue have been notified. The search for a hunter who has been missing for five days is called off and searchers begin an immediate search for Junior. Junior is located via the "chip" which was implanted by Mrs. Olsen the third time Junior teetered into the yard as a two-week-old 'orphan'. Mrs. Olsen had saved the chip which had previously been implanted in her miniature dachshound which had died 6 months previously (at the fangs of the local wild canids who, surprisingly, had not consumed the entire being of he whom was once called Maynard- [after her late husband]). Mrs. Olsen had employed the help of Dr. Johnov, a local vet of apparent Eastern European origin, who was actually a man who became a man - again- after having been a woman for a brief stint which wasn't very successful. (Both sex changes were at "self's" own hands.) No one was actually sure where his/her/his degree - if he had one- was earned. In any case, he/she/he was trusted by some, Mrs. Olsen among them. She didn't think his name was very proper so she just called him "Jack". Unlike some, she abbreviated his nickname somewhat.

And with that background in place, the case of Junior the moose: Maynard to some (for obvious reasons), was never in doubt when the echo of the 300 Ultra Mag had died away. Killing him was kind of like suffering the death of Mr. Olsen all over again - again. And if you think that the guy who killed him thought he had problems, imagine what would have happened had he not spared young Jessica S. the opportunity.