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My Hunting Christmas List
Copyright 2015 – Stephen Redgwell

Every year, it’s the same thing. My wife asks me what I want for Christmas and I end up getting khaki socks or ‘glow in the dark’ hunting gloves. Boring, right?

This year, I made a short list of stuff that the modern hunter craves.

1. A Camo Internets Hat

Yeah, you read that right. I notice that more people spend time on the Interwebs connecting with friends. Why not connect when you're in the field? I figure there has to be a way to incorporate technology into a tuque. The material has to be camo. Friends would shun you if your head gear wasn’t different shades of green.

But let's talk transmission frequencies. You gotta be able to communicate with your buddies! What a lot of you probably don’t know is the inverse proportionality rule - the higher the transmission frequency, the smaller the antenna needs to be. It has to do with the shortness of the wavelength flying through the air. So, since most of the Internets comms are in the gigahertz range, a tiny antenna is all you need. I’m talking a couple of inches long at best. The antenna should be centred in the tuque, right at the top of your head.

Attached to that would be a small flag. The Star and Stripes if you’re an American. A red maple leaf , if you’re Canadian. You get the picture. And you will get the picture, with a conveniently placed antenna, placed as high on your body as possible.

2. The Rifle Stock Cell Phone

I’ve talked about this before. It’s basically a phone built into the stock of your rifle – Android, or Blackberry, if you’re an LL Bean kind of guy . But before you think that’s silly, hear me out.

How many times have you been deer hunting and had the perfect shot at a whitetail? You know what I’m talking about. It’s the deer in classic woodsy profile - standing still, sunlight streaming down from the heavens, lighting him up like he was a famous studio movie star. But you could never prove it because you were holding your rifle, trying to take the shot! Well, a cell phone rifle with camera would make your hunting story so much better. You can take photos (or video) and chat with your Internets buddies using the integrated headset, while taking the shot. Just don’t forget to whisper, or tell everyone how fast your heart is beating!

3. INS (Inertial Navigation System) Bullets (Packaged in Boxes of 50)

Why waste money coming up with new materials, complex bullet presses or seriously overpaying ad companies to sell bullets? Make the darn bullet dead nuts accurate with technology and watch it sell itself! And techno-stuff is getting cheaper every day.

The Japanese have been miniaturizing electronics for years. The older ones among you will remember “transistor radios” that were made in Japan. So, with that said, what is an INS bullet?

INS stands for inertial navigation. Basically, it’s a way that uses a computer and motion and rotation sensors to calculate the position and speed of game. You got to start the bullet off in the approximate direction of the animal, but after you squeeze the trigger, technology takes over. Using sophisticated circuitry built into the base, the bullet is guided to the game using GPS satellites and BIB ‘built into bullet’ navigation. Wow! Micro-miniature solid state used for goodness and niceness!

The only thing better would be native bearers and hunt camp serving staff! (Um, forget about that last part. Somebody is bound to take offence.)

Anyway, that’s the three things I want for Christmas this year. You can have your silly, girly man guns with the faux gold plated triggers, or shoot overpriced monoterrific, copperized bullets. I’ll use the stuff that the modern deer hunter truly wants, techno-hunting gear connected to the World Wide Web!

Edited to add: This is Canadian crooner Michael Buble singing, My Grown Up Christmas List!



Safe Shooting!
Steve Redgwell
www.303british.com

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How do you do it Steve?


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Just lucky I guess...


Safe Shooting!
Steve Redgwell
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
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I like the way you think, Steve. whistle



"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
Robert E. Howard
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Thanks. Just think of how successful companies like Remington or Winchester would be if they actually listened to the buying public.


Safe Shooting!
Steve Redgwell
www.303british.com

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
Member - Professional Outdoor Media Association of Canada
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Guess they'll just have to continue fumbling along as best they can.



"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
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Originally Posted by Steve Redgwell
Thanks. Just think of how successful companies like Remington or Winchester would be if they actually listened to the buying public.



??? The plethora of short mags come to mind......... grin


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Obviously you are young. If you had any maturity, you list would have included a remote controlled drone that would fly off your tree stand and take a leak for you without you having to climb down and then up the ladder again. The deluxe version would fly a quarter of your deer out to your truck using a gps track. Of course, there is always next Christmas!

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Originally Posted by shootinurse
Guess they'll just have to continue fumbling along as best they can.


Remember this Remington, Winchester and the rest! Listen to your public!

"Why can't they make better stuff?"
"How hard is it to make more better rifles?"
"You guys should make cheaper things for us working stiffs to buy."
"A lot of your stuff doesn't work. Why not?"
"Why can't you make a Creedmoor in a long action?"
"I don't like your stuff. It sucks."
"I'd buy a rifle on an AR15 platform - if it was a bolt action. They can't be that hard to make!"
"I want a rimfire rifle with a faster twist barrel."

"You guys would sell more ammunition and rifles if you stretched the short magnums by about .4 or .5 of an inch and narrowed the case diameter."
"I'll give you my number. You can phone me for advice anytime."
"You know how popular 223s are. I bet if you made a lever action 223 and loaded it with 60 to 70 gr. RNs, you'd sell a million of 'em!"

"Why can't you make a Remington like a Tikka? They'd be better!"
"I love your rifles! They are great quality! To make them really shoot, I swap out the trigger, barrel, stock and put a good scope on it."


Safe Shooting!
Steve Redgwell
www.303british.com

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
Member - Professional Outdoor Media Association of Canada
[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]

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