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Not true, Sam. I got a great deal on a '76 Pinto from a pastor that tried group baptisms to generate attendance.

Ran just fine after they drug it out of the river and called the next of kin.

It is OK if you take two of them fishing with you.

Most mega churches are run like corporations by a "board" with the pastor as CEO, or a really tight family group. You really don't want to judge them, but it does raise an eyebrow when they collect a 300k salary and spend a good deal of time promoting their latest book in order to enrich themselves.

Everything will be sorted out in the end, and everybody will stand before an Almighty God.

Careful with that joke kids, its an antique.

So this guy gets rescued after spending several years stranded alone on a desert island, when the rescuers arrive they note he has built three huts.

"What's that?" they say, pointing to the first one.

"That's my house." the guy says.

"And that one?" they ask, pointing to the second hut.

"That's where I go to church." he says.

"Well, what about that one?" they ask, pointing to the third hut.

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

Personally, I'd rather sort them out here.

A priest and a nun playing golf....

The priest takes a swing, slices and sends the ball into the trees...

"Damn, I missed." Mutters the priest, the nun gasps in shock.

In the woods, the priest hits the ball but it hits a tree and richochets into a sand trap.

"Damn! I missed!" says the priest.

"Father!" Exclaims the nun, "You are a man of the cloth, if you speak like that God will strike you down!"

In the sand trap the priest slices again, the ball lands in the pond.

"DAMN! I MISSED!" Yells the priest.


Not a cloud in the sky, out of the blue a lightning bolt comes down, hits the nun, and strikes her dead.........

















"Damn, I missed" comes a voice from above.

So one day, at the Vatican, a cardinal approaches the pope.

"Your Holiness" says the pope, "I have some good news and some bad news".

"OK", says the pope, "give me the good news first."


"Jesus is on the phone, he said to tell you he's back on earth."


"WHAT!" says the pope,"Jesus is BACK! This is WONDERFUL news! What could possibly be wrong?"


"Well, he's calling from Salt Lake City."

...and of course....



Q: Why don't Jehovah's witnesses like Halloween?


A: They hate it when strangers come knocking on their door.



OK, that,s about all the religion jokes I got, besides the ancient Baptists-not-liking-sex-standing-up-because-it-looks-too-much-like-dancing one.

Amazingly sad story.

Any preacher who can get through any Lord's Day w/o preaching the Good News of God's gracious gift in Christ has an especially hot place in Hell set aside for him.

The word Anathema comes to mind.

The office needs to be respected, and the office holder duly scrutinized.

The Jehovahs are rather aggressive in my town. They'd invite my foster kids to all kinds of stuff church related trying to convert. So, I started inviting their kids to youth group stuff at my church. I've never seen such a quick change in attitude. The Jo Ho parents would completely shut down, and not even make eye contact.

That's my observation, too, Sam. Another one is, the more people I'm considering doing business with (including tenants) start talking about God, how many times they go to church a week, and their family, the less I want to do business with them.

Enter ye by the narrow gate, for broad is the way to destruction, and many there are who go that way.

Ain't preachers about the easiest thing in the World to put on "ignore"?

Ain't gonna point fingers, those who worship at such megachurches surely are happy to be there, even if the "tithing" can run steep.

I expect there's worse things to be preoccupied with than one's prospect of eternal life through a Christian message.

Talk to the attendee of a local mosque fer example....... every one I know of is funded by the Saudis.

Birdwatcher

Speaking the plain unvarnished truth is a sure path to unpopularity, too.

Well said.

Zactly; preachers too often turn into ear ticklers & nothing more. There is a certain offense imbedded in the Gospel (like that Jesus needed to die) that doesnt win popularity points these days.

Must be some sort of eggspert. I am more concerned about their sheeple. Hope they don't leave their skepticism at the door and just have blind faith.

Does anyone here actually listen to his Sunday AM messages?