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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921 |
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'
I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
"So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.
"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."
One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."
"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."
"Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
"Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said ,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,042
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,042 |
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,168
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,168 |
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,852
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,852 |
92-year-old Scotsman comes into the pub and orders a round for the house. Everyone is caught completely off-guard by this act of largesse, but eagerly accepts. Someone asks what prompted the gesture. 92-year-old explains that it is to celebrate his marriage to a beautiful 20-something. Seven months later, the scene repeats itself. When asked the reasons, he this time explains that it's for his new-born son. When the skew in the timeline is pointed out, he replies, "Aye, not bad, is it? Two under par and me with a whippy shaft."
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921 |
92-year-old Scotsman comes into the pub and orders a round for the house. Everyone is caught completely off-guard by this act of largesse, but eagerly accepts. Someone asks what prompted the gesture. 92-year-old explains that it is to celebrate his marriage to a beautiful 20-something. Seven months later, the scene repeats itself. When asked the reasons, he this time explains that it's for his new-born son. When the skew in the timeline is pointed out, he replies, "Aye, not bad, is it? Two under par and me with a whippy shaft." 
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,921 |
I had a vasectomy done because I thought it prevented pregnancy. Turns out all it does is change the color of the baby!
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,940
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,940 |
--- CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE --- A Magic Time To Be An Illegal In America---
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462 members (10gaugemag, 17CalFan, 16penny, 12savage, 10gaugeman, 10ring1, 55 invisible),
2,910
guests, and
1,163
robots. |
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Forums81
Topics1,191,276
Posts18,467,558
Members73,927
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Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
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