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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
their castle in Transylvania talking about how they were tired of the local food. Both of them were of the opinion that Italian food would be a nice change.
So, they changed into bats and winged there way over to Italy. They set themselves down in Venice and went looking for their dinner. Soon, they found a nice dark bridge over a canal to have their meal. They hunkered down and waited. In no time, an Italian couple came floating down the waterway. As they passed under the bridge, the vampires grabbed them, sucked them dry and tossed them into the water.
As they licked their lips, they discussed how good Italian food was and they both decided it was so good that they wanted seconds. Again, they hid and waited. As before another young Italian couple came floating down the canal. Also as before, the vampires grabbed them, sucked every drop of blood from their bodies and tossed them over the side of the bridge.
Now, the vampires were feeling pretty full, but they decided to make it a really special night and to have some dessert. Waiting in the dark, they soon spied another couple approaching their bridge. When they got there, this couple also found themselves subdued and their bodies sucked dry. The vampires then tossed the dead couple into the canal. Satiated, the vampires prepared to change form and fly home before they were caught by the coming dawn.
They stopped however, when they heard singing. Not wanting to be seen, they searched for the source.
A quick glance proved that they were the only ones on the bridge. The sound however was coming from the canal.
Slowly they approached the rail and looked over. Sure enough there in the water they spied an alligator. He was munching on the bodies singing,
"Drained wops keep falling on my head..."
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
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"Only Christ is the fullness of God's revelation."
Everyday Hunter
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Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 13,234
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Posts: 56,090
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
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I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 |
If you put Taco Bell sauce in your ramen noodles it tastes just like poverty
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 27,692
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 27,692 |
Member: Clan of the Turdlike People.
Courage is Fear that has said its Prayers
�If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.� Ronald Reagan.
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Posts: 15,649
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,649 |
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,046
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,046 |
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Posts: 8,109
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 8,109 |
Lol... that was PUN-ishing.
An unemployed Jester, is nobody's Fool.
the only real difference between a good tracker and a bad tracker, is observation. all the same data is present for both. The rest, is understanding what you're seeing.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Posts: 17,733
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 17,733 |
NRA LIFE MEMBER
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
ESPECIALLY THE SNIPERS!
"Suppose you were an idiot And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
-Mark Twain
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,858 |
Oh, no! Not an insult to the Italians! 
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,495 |
Retired cat herder.
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Posts: 13,362
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Posts: 13,362 |
Well, how about this one. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.   L.W.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 28,752 |
The first one made me groan.
Yours made me laugh so hard that the shaking bed woke up the wife.
What fresh Hell is this?
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,798 |
OMG T LEE, had to wipe coffee off the computer screen!
Last edited by maddog; 12/04/16.
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Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,114 |
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Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
One of the best pun-jokes I have come across in a long time.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Groan!
Speak softly and use a big bore...
Where's El Cid when we need him...
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
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Posts: 50,627 |
Mark Begich, Joaquin Jackson, and Heller resistance... Three huge reasons to worry about the NRA.
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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back in grade school, funny stuff
if you want change you have to put in your 2 cents, you can't just sit on the sidelines and whine
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Posts: 32,074 |
I'm calling BS. How would a alligator get to Italy?
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
I forwarded that one.
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
I'm calling BS. How would a alligator get to Italy? Same way a kangaroo made it to Oklahoma! [video:youtube]CriuV-yNqv4[/video]
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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Posts: 28,172 |
Just told it to the wife while she was farding. She's re-doing her eye makeup and wiping away the tears. 
Hunt with Class and Classics
Religion: A founder of The Church of Spray and Pray
Acquit v. t. To render a judgment in a murder case in San Francisco... EQUAL, adj. As bad as something else. Ambrose Bierce “The Devil's Dictionary”
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Posts: 8,651 |
Well, that is enough reason for me to post my vampire joke too!
Two Nuns in Transylvania
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," replies Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking the vampire about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen
Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine?
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.
She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f_ck off our car!!!
/John
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,858 |
That is one of my favorites. 
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,059
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,059 |
Oh boy....can I get that two minutes back....lol
"By the time you realize your father was a smart man, you have a teenager telling you just how stupid you are."
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Posts: 43,740
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 43,740 |
I'm calling BS. How would a alligator get to Italy? Same as New York City, got flushed!
“ The Savage 99 Pocket Reference”. All models and variations of 1895’s, 1899’s and 99’s covered. Also dates, checkering, engraving.. Find at www.savagelevers.com
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,074 |
On reflection, that gator was probably a were-suitcase
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,074
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,074 |
On reflection, that gator was probably a were-suitcase.
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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549 members (007FJ, 160user, 10gaugemag, 1lesfox, 11point, 12344mag, 46 invisible),
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