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Boudreaux and the Devil

Boudreaux died and was on his way down to Hell. In anticipation, the Devil turned up the thermostat to make it extra warm for Boudreaux. When Boudreaux arrived, the Devil asked, "Hey Boudreaux, how do you like the heat down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's just fine. It reminds me of Bayou PonPon in July."

That made the Devil mad. That night, he turned the thermostat up all the way it could go. Man it was hot! When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "NOW how do you like it down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's fine. It reminds me of August on Bayou Lafourche."

As you might expect, that made the Devil all the more mad. Well, that night, he turned the thermostat down all the way it could go! The whole place frosted over. Icicles started forming from the rafters. When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "How you like it NOW, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux, shivering, through blue lips, says, "Mais cher, I'm one happy Cajun!"

The Devil was infuriated! He yelled, "What do you mean you're one happy Cajun?!!"

Boudreaux, still shivering says, "The Saints done won the Superbowl!"

Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting, but didn't have a place to hunt.

Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."

When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house, and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"

The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house any more."

Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there.

As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux.

When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."

Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide.

Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."

Boudreaux lived across the bayou from Clarence, who Boudreaux did not like. There was no bridge or other easy way to cross the bayou so the two would argue by yelling across the bayou.

Boudreaux would often yell across the bayou to Clarence, "Clarence, if I had a way to cross dat bayou, I would come beat you up!".

The threats continued for many years.

One day the state built a bridge across the Bayou.

Soon after the bridge was built, Boudreaux's wife, Clotile, says "Boudreaux, you've been talking about going across dat bayou to beat up Clarence all dese years. Now that they have dat bridge, what are you waiting for?"

So Boudreaux decided it was time to go see Clarence, so he started walking down to the bridge.

Just as he was getting ready to cross the bridge, he looks up at the sign on the bridge, reads it, and goes back home.

When Boudreaux gets home, Clotile asks "Mais, Boudreaux, did you go beat up Clarence?" Boudreaux said, "Mais no Clotile, dat sign on dat bridge says 'Clearance 13 feet 3 inches'. Mais, Clotile, Clarence don't look dat big from across de bayou!"

Pierre and Boudreaux went fishing in Pierre's boat but were not doing very good.

They came across Alphonse in a boat loaded with fish. Pierre asked Alphonse what his secret was. Alphonse said, "Jes go out through that pass over dere until the water gets fresh. Stop dere and drop yer line."

All excited, Pierre fired up the motor and headed through the pass.

When they got a little ways out, he told Boudreaux to fill up a bucket and taste the water. Boudreaux complied and said, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

Pierre went further out and told Boudreaux to taste the water again. Boudreaux said the same thing, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

This went on for hours and it was starting to get dark, and they were in the middle of nowhere, when Pierre said to taste the water one last time.

Boudreaux replied, "But Pierre, there's no more water in the bucket!"

Boudreaux's daughter brings home her new fianc� to meet Boudreaux & Clotile. After dinner, Clotile tells Boudreaux to find out about the young man. Boudreaux invites the fianc� to the back room for a drink.

"So what are your plans?", Boudreaux asks the young man.

"I am a scripture scholar.", he replies.

"A scripture scholar. Hmmm.", Boudreaux says, "Dats good, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study and God will provide for us.", the young man replies.

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring?", asks Boudreaux.

"I will concentrate on my studies.", the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?", asks Boudreaux. "How will you support de children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide.", replies the fianc�.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time Boudreaux asks a question about the young man's future, the young man insists that God will provide.

Later, Clotile asks Boudreaux, "Mais, how did it go, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux answers Clotile by saying, "Mais, he has no job, and he has no plans, but the good news is ... he thinks I'm God."

When Boudreaux was a little boy he was called "Tee-Boudreaux". "Tee Boudreaux" lived with his family in a house with no indoor plumbing. Instead they had an outhouse out in the back of the house. His dad, Papa Boudreaux, wanted the best he could get for the Boudreaux family. So they had a "two holer" outhouse so that two people could "go" at the same time.

One day Tee-Boudreaux and Papa Boudreaux were both in the outhouse when Tee-Boudreaux saw his Papa accidentally drop a quarter into the hole.

Tee-Boudreaux noticed his Papa thinking about something a while then reach into his pocket, pull out a dollar bill, and drop it into the hole where the quarter had gone.

Tee-Boudreaux saw this and said, "Mais, Papa what you dropped dat dollar bill into dat hole for?!".

Papa Boudreaux said, "May Tee-Boudreaux, I didn't have de heart do send you down dere for just a quarter!"

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are out looking for a job. They are walking by some building with a sign that says "Pilots Wanted". So Thibodeaux tells Boudreaux "Mais Boudreaux. You're a pilot, you should go get dat job!"
So Boudreaux go inside and he tells da manager dat he is a pilot, with 20 years experience. The manager immediately hires him. Boudreaux come back out and tells Thibodeaux he got da job. Thibodeaux says "Mais, if you can get dat job, den I can to!" He goes inside and talks to the manager. The manager asks him, "So you're a pilot like Boudreaux? I really need more pilots."
Thibodeaux responds "No, I shovel manure."
The manager replies "I'm sorry, but I really have no need for that."
Thibodeaux, confused, asks "Mais, you just hired Boudreaux!"
The manager responds "Yes, he's a pilot."
Thibodeaux laughs and says "Mais boug, I got you on dis one here...you see, ole Boudreaux can't pile it unless I shovel it!"

Boudreaux, dressed up in his best Western attire, acting like an ole cowboy, went into a bar down dere in Thibodaux, and ordered a drink.

As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to Boudreaux and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life down on dat ranch in Houma Louisiana, herdin cows around." He then asked her what she was.

She replied, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women!"

A little while later a couple sat down next to Boudreaux and asked him "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, " I always taut I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

One day Boudreaux walked into Thibodaux's house & asked him "Mais what's that in ya front yard??" Thibodaux said "Mais it a helicopter." Boudreaux says "mMais a helicopter. What it do?" Thibodaux say "come see I show ya." They walk in the yard. Thibodaux gets in and takes off strait up into the clouds. After a while Boudreaux hears a loud noise and Thibodaux and helicopter come crashing down. So Boudreaux walks around and finds Thibodaux laying on da ground all cut-up. Boudreaux asks "Mais Thibodaux what happen? " Thibodoux say "Mais Boudreaux I was going up in dat helicopter der and it got cold so I turned off the fan!!!!!!"

I thought it was the Lions

Boudreaux: "It's terrible what they're doing in the South." Thibodaux: "What's that?" Boudreaux: "They're burning all of the churches." Thibodaux: "That's OK, I always liked Popeye's better anyway!!!"

Nope the Lions are who kids from abusive families go, as they don't beat anyone. Les

Thibodueax came back from a 28 day hitch offshore. He had made him a big check. So Thibodeaux decided to go to Gulotta's in New Iberia and buy himself a brand new pair of patent leather boots. After buying the boots, Thibodeaux decided to go dancing at La Poussierre in Breaux Bridge to break in his new boots. At the dance Thibodeaux asked Marie if she want to waltz. She said, "Mais yea, Thibodeaux." In the middle of dancing, Thibodeaux asked Marie, "You got some blue panties on?" Marie replied, "Yea, how you know dat?" Thibodeaux said, "Because I could see the reflection in my brand new patent leather boots." Thibodeaux then asked Claudette if she wanted to dance. She agreed. In the middle of dancing Thibodeaux asked, "You got some red panties on?" Claudette said, "Yea, how you know dat?" Thibodeaux said, "Because I could see the reelection in my brand new pair of patent leather boots." Thibodeaux then asked Clotile if she wanted to dance. She agreed. In the middle of dancing Thibodeaux asked, "Clotile, you not wearing any panties, huh?" Clotile said, "Mais non, Thibodeaux." Thibodeaux caught his breath and said in relief, "Thank God, I thought I had a crack in my brand new pair of patent leather boots."

Ba-dump bump! He's signed a forty year contract, folks, so we have all this entertainment to look forward to.

Nah, just 2 more years of it then his forty is up...

Boudreaux and Thibodaux were going fishing. Boudreaux picked up Thibodaux in his pirouge and dey paddled across duh bayou to fish when Thibodaux said "oh mais Boudreaux Ah forgot mah boots" Boudreaux said "oh mais Thibodaux don worry you sit here and fish and ah will go back and get your boots" So Boudreaux went back across the bayou and said to Thibodaux's wife Clothilde "Clothilde Thibodaux said I can come over here and have $ex with both you and your daughter" Clothilde said "oh mais non Boudreaux ah don believe that" Boudreaux say "oh mais yah come see" so he took her to the bayouside and yelled across to Thibodaux "THIBODAUX BOTH OF DEM?" Thibodaux replied "YAH BOTH OF DEM"