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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Noah's Ark Jokes
What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark?
"Now I herd everything"
Why did the people on the ark think the horses were
pessimistic?
They kept saying neigh
What animal could Noah not trust?
The cheetah
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights
Who introduced salted meat to the Navy?
Noah--he took Ham with him on the ark
What did God say when Noah told him he wanted to build
the ark out of bricks?
"No, Noah -- go for wood"
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck
Who was the first canning factory run by?
Noah-he had a boat full of preserved pairs
Was Noah the first one out of the Ark?
No, he came fourth out of the ark
Which animal took the most baggage into the arc?
What animal took the least?
The elephant took his trunk.
But the fox and the rooster took only a brush and comb
between them.
What creatures were not on the arc?
Fish
Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the ark hives.
Who was the best financier in the Bible?
Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in
liquidation.
Where was Noah when the lights went out?
In d'ark.
Why couldn't Noah catch many fish?
He only had two worms.
When is paper money first mentioned in the Bible?
When the dove brought the green back to the ark.
What did the cat say when the ark landed?
Is that Ararat?
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158 |
TRUMP- GABBARD 2024
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158 |
TRUMP- GABBARD 2024
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,158 |
TRUMP- GABBARD 2024
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,598
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,598 |
I once overheard someone talking about Cutty's Ark, but I can't find information on it. Maybe it was the ark with the dinosaurs and unicorns, and it sunk.
Bruce
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,079
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,079 |
I heard about it once long ago. It was a very small ark, about an inch and a half across and two inches deep. If Cutty's Ark was full it would not float in a mug of beer and would sink straight to the bottom. You would have to drink all the beer very quickly to get it back. After trying to float Cutty's Ark in the Beer four or five times you did not care if you got it back or not. One could go swimming without any water if one got enough of Cutty's Ark!
Alan
Food is at the core of Hunting and Fishing - Rebecca Gray
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,235
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,235 |
Not a joke , just ticked at Noah.
Three things that should have been swatted :
Black flies
Mosquitoes
Deer flies
Phil
�The public cannot be too curious concerning the characters of public men.� �Samuel Adams
"All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree." --James Madison
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,079
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,079 |
Find a copy and read Mark Twain's "Letters from the Earth". There's a good Noah's Ark story concerning flies.
Alan
Food is at the core of Hunting and Fishing - Rebecca Gray
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