Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Nicknames for professors

"I hear that his students call Doctor Simms 'Doctor Kojak,' obviously because he's bald," a university professor said. "I like it when students have nicknames for their professors � reflects a certain affection, a certain rapport that enhances the process of teaching and learning."

"Well, Dad, they have a nickname for you, too," his son said.

"Oh, they do? That's great! What do they call me?"

"Sanka."

The professor puzzled over why he'd been nicknamed after a brand of decaffeinated coffee but couldn't think of a reason or a connection. In the middle of the night, he got out of bed, went downstairs, studied the label on a can of Sanka, and found that it said �

"Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the active portion of the bean has been removed."



My buddies got a kick out of the way that I greeted one of our stature-challenged profs on campus ("Tally-ho, Fred!"). Fred always smiled, waved, and said, "Hi, Ken!" The guys knew the story. Fred didn't.

Mobster Bugsy realized that after twenty years in the rackets, he was the only one of the old gang who wasn't behind bars or below ground. He decided to go straight � and safe. He took his fortune to England, bought the estate of a veddy proppa but bankrupt nobleman, and hired an old valet (Jeeves) to tutor him on how to comport himself in his new role.

"Well, how'd I do today, Jeeves?" he asked one day after a high-society fox hunt.

"Veddy well, Sir, veddy well � but for one little matta. When one spots the fox, one cries 'Tally-ho the fox!' � not 'Theah goes the little son of a bitch!�"



My students called me �Mister Clean,� after the bald genie on the cleanser bottle. I laughed when one of �em told me, and thereafter some of �em addressed me that way openly � always with a grin and a grin in response. I don�t think that it affected the process of teaching and learning in any deleterious way.

The way I heard the one about the fox hunt, it was a rich Texan who had been invited on the hunt.

Paul

I went to to the University of Rhode Island 3 years after my Brother. He had a chemistry professor who looked like the Joker in Batman. My Brother told him that, and he told my Brother to get out of his class. Years later I had him, and when he walked in, I had to bury my face to keep from laughing. I had to look at the guy every other day for 4 months. It was terrible.

The mobster version was old, old, old when I used it in 1957�1958 and 1958�1959. Later versions always struck me as weaker attempts, somehow.

Met a high-born Englishman in the 1990s who told (poorly) the mobster version to our crowd of shooters.

Had a bald principle that used to ride me to cut my long hair at school. He once asked me if I had ever heard of chopping cotton. My nickname for him was Chrome Dome. I doubt it was original.

A professor at UT-Austin was known for failing a lot of folks in electrical engineering (EE). His lectures were obscure to follow (according to his students. I never had him as a prof myself). But he always smiled while giving his lectures, and many would fail his tests, and therefore his class. He was known as the Smiling Assassin.

Another EE prof was also known for failing a lot of students (there were more than a few like this LOL). He was short, with a very sour disposition and extremely anal. On the first day of class, maybe about five minutes into his orientation discussion and class rules, a wandering lost student looking for his class cracked open the door, poked his nose in, decided it wasn't the right class, and moved on down the hall. A typical thing to happen the first day of a semester. The Prof got bug-eyed mean, and exclaimed to all in the class, "Did you see that? Did you all SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?" ... He then chased the guy down the hall chewing him out for daring to interrupt his class. An example of anal and mean that was. He also had an attendance formula. For each absence (being tardy also counted as an absence, and he passed an attendance roll sheet to be signed each day) it counted as follows: Example; four absences = 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 or a total of 10 points, for a theoretical best score of 90 if you aced everything for your final grade. No calculators were allowed on Exams (I actually like that rule). So now you have an idea of a short, anal and mean professor. Thus we (a few friends and I) started out by calling him the Gremlin. However, he also could not pronounce "th" correctly, and it just came out like a hard consonant "t", and likewise pronounce "r" like a "w". He constantly reminded the class to remember that T'evenin is your fwiend, because of the utility of Thevenin Equivalent Circuits. And so we eventually took to calling him the Tevenin Gremlin.

ok,i'm ready for an explanation. what makes a particular englishman high born or not?? did they descend from the ancient egyptions, maybe, or if not, are they impostors??

"I bet it bugs you to see so many of us with long hair," one of my students said to me.

"No, doesn't bother me at all," I said, "but I do wonder about you." (He was a Baptist preacher.)

"Oh? Why?"

I quoted First Corinthians 11:14.

"Oh? Where does it say that?"

I told him.

"Show me."

I showed him.

He didn't say anything just then. That happened on a Friday. Monday, he came to class with short hair.

"You notice I got a haircut?" he said. "I didn't believe what you showed me until I went home and found it in my Bible, too. I thought maybe you'd had yours privately printed."

My buddy Jim couldn't figure-out what one of his professors was talking about, so one day he finally asked what "dipper s-h-i-t" meant. The prof looked at him funny and wrote depreciate on the board.

I had a chemistry prof named Smith who wrote a ton of stuff on the blackboard. The trouble was, he kept the eraser in his other hand and erased almost as fast as he wrote. It was like he was writing a secret message that was 'eyes only'.

We called him Secret Agent Smith.


Dale

We had a biology professor who had a rather crude habit that he indulged in when he was talking in front of the class.

We referred to his lectures as pickin' and grinnin'.

Are you trying to kid me?

Surely you know something of the differences between Englishmen (a) who're born into famillies and the class that provides 'em with good up-bringing. good homes, good educations, good connections, and good prospects and (b) those who're born into poverty and menial service. Watch My Fair Lady if you need a clue.

In graduate school I had a very fine accounting professor (still active 30 years later, I believe) name Yuji Ijiri.

Several of us used to refer to him (never in his presence) as "Professor Rection".

Had a prof in grad school who we called "Cheap George". He was in his early 30s, had married an heiress and bought an expensive custom house. He was, however, a cheapskate.

Paul

Had a prof in the 70's that stepped out of a 2 story window, fell and broke his leg. Called him 'Professor Crip'.

I had a math professor whose name began with K. He was a very good mathematician and a nice man, but a little flaky.

We called him Special K.

Had another one in the 70's named Dr. Meuller. Came to class the first day wearing a WWI spike german helmet and trench coat.

Also, I had a foreign student lab teacher. We couldnt understand a word he said. He had to write everything on the board. We were always confussed as to why he would always start each class by trying to teach without writing what he was saying on the board. It was at the start of the 5th class, met once a week, while he was speaking and not writing on board, that one of the classmembers realized that he was calling role. The whole class was marked as absent for the first month of class!

I had a prof that was a great teacher, but lousy at testing how well one had learned what was taught in his classes. It was very difficult to get a good grade from him as he would cut a percentage point for any infraction of spelling, punctuation, or even a paraphrase of something he had said in class. You could express the exact meaning and thought that had been conveyed, but if you didn't quote him word-for-word, the answer was counted as wrong entirely.

As the eldest student, I felt that I should speak up about his ineptitude at analyzing our cognitive growth through his teaching, and I made the remark that I had not yet taken "Mind Reading 101" as of yet. He gave me a "C" for the course, when I had earned an "A-" at the least. This angered me pretty badly. I had worked my tail off for a C. It was the only C I got in college.

Fast forward a year and a half. I invited him up to Appalachia with myself and another professor to share in a bear hunt with my prized hounds.

I took him through some of the roughest country that NC has to offer. I tried my best to kill him. We tossed a coin when it was time to ford a river. He lost. He tried to carry me and both of our's gear across on his back. He was not up to the task and had to admit it. The other prof was an avid outdoors man and he did great for 3 days. The lousy prof bailed out on us after the first day. We got our bear on day 3, but he missed out on that because he wimped out.

When I returned to school after the break, I told everybody there what a wimp he was. I was the President of the Student Body, so word got around quickly. Even the other prof confirmed my tales.

To this day, he is known as Wimpy. Personally, I called him my "rented mule" as he couldn't get me across the river reliably. The only element where he is comfortable and feels that he is in control is a class room. It always brought to my mind the old saying, "Those that can, do...those that can't, teach". I know this is not true for all teachers, but this saying certainly came about for some reason.

He is also the pastor of a church, and has been for many years now. Somehow, to me, a pastor should not be so arrogant. His only child now resides in prison. I can't help but wonder if his arrogant ways might have driven his own son into rebelliousness.

He was always so concerned about outward appearances rather than being honest about inward realities. I feel that anyone who purports to be a leader should be honest and transparent unless this course jeopardizes a mission. I hope he has learned from his heartaches. We all should try to.

Here's to old Wimpy. I sincerely hope he is happy, and that his son can do well in the end.

I didn't have the guy for class but there was a math professor (Dr. actually) who was born in India. He spoke good English but definitely had an accent and his pronunciation/syntax wasn't always right.

Anyhow, he's doing a lecture on probability and is flipping a quarter, marking heads or tails. He asks "What is chance of getting head?" Immediately followed by "Getting head is success."

Buddies who were there still talk about it.

Dale

had three teachers in high school ,hugget ,lovet ,piggot.
EMAGINE THE FUN wehad with that..

Had a mechanical engineering prof who was a very bright guy, spent a number of years in the military. Clearly if you wanted to know the water flow around a submarine, he'd be the guy to analyze it for you. He had, however some difficulty teaching basic stuff in a way that undergrads could follow.

His nickname? Captain Glitch

Yet another engineering prof who similarly was not a good communicator, and kinda obnoxious too. Owing to his large nose and Dutch-boy like haircut, he was known as "the D!!k With Ears"

One of my Dad's customers was head of the Anthropology department, and a pretty nice guy. By chance I drew him for my Humanities elective, and being Canadian, his method was to have two tests per year, a mid-term and a final. On his mid-term I scored a 73. That was THE high grade in the class of about 100 students. A week or two later he brought in an old Porsche 914 for us to service. When he came to pick up the car he saw & recognized me, and asked how I liked working on his Porsche, and I replied I liked his midterm better. He laughed his ass off