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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. A different bar.
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong.
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans On Star Trek? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this [bleep].'
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Posts: 28,185
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,185 |
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Posts: 15,874
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,874 |
Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist
Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"
This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Posts: 16,718
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 16,718 |
Let 'em be offended. "They" will have to wait a bit to heard however - as my laughter is quite loud.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,220
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,220 |
I am deeply offended by people who are offended by things I find inoffensive.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Posts: 28,185
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,185 |
Here is another good batch of the offensive...I'm counting on the software to do my editing of profanity.
Warning: These jokes may offend you....if so, too bad. ____________________________________________________
Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, �[bleep] that � knowing my luck, I�d win one!�
What�s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn�t claim benefits, had his own [bleep] bike, and wanted to go home! ____________________________________________________
A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, �I can�t believe they [bleep] my wife after only five beers!� ____________________________________________________
Got this text from my brother recently. It read. �Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister�s throat!�
______________________________________________________
* Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, �It�s my husband! Quick, try the back door!� Thinking back, I really should have ran � but you don�t get offers like that every day. ____________________________________________________
Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the [bleep] out of this idiot at a party. In my defense�when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in. ____________________________________________________
My wife just came in and said, �I don�t know if I am coming or going. �I said to her, �Judging by the look on your face, you�re going � �cus when you�re coming, you look like a [bleep] Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!� ____________________________________________________
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I [bleep] a girl called Penny � is that spooky or what? _____________________________________________________
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Posts: 7,297
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,297 |
At first I was offended that you left me out.So I read it again,#9 I feel better now.
Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"
He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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Posts: 8,557
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557 |
An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
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Posts: 38,858
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 38,858 |
None of these offend me - that in and of itself offends me.
Me
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Posts: 7,731
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 7,731 |
The Zoo and Fairy Tale ones were pretty darn funny... and spot on!
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment. � Real-world (Jeddah) equivalent � Saudi who can't drive his car because the horn won't blow. � Corollary � What does a one-armed Italian need most? An interpreter.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959 |
I am deeply offended by people who are offended by things I find inoffensive. This. I think.
"For joy of knowing what may not be known we take the golden road to Samarkand." James Elroy Flecker
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Posts: 78,300
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 78,300 |
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive.... Clearly racist...
"...the left considers you vermin, and they'll kill you given the chance..." Bristoe
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Posts: 1,839
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,839 |
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive.... Clearly racist... Ok, just for you. One African-American joke..... Barrack Hussein Obama. Did you hear Obama gave up making speeches in the south cause every time he got on stage the rednecks would start bidding on him?
The original international turd
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Posts: 26,337
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26,337 |
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive.... Clearly racist... Ok, just for you. One African-American joke..... Barrack Hussein Obama. Did you hear Obama gave up making speeches in the south cause every time he got on stage the rednecks would start bidding on him? i'm a Southerner and i'm deeply afended with that remark. i clearly state for the world to know that the Hussein man is not for sale. no matter what Soros might or might not offer.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Posts: 16,554
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 16,554 |
I am SO offended by this thread! (When do I get my check?)
The key elements in human thinking are not numbers but labels of fuzzy sets. -- L. Zadeh
Which explains a lot.
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Posts: 59,128
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,128 |
Didn't read 'em all, so apology up front if duplicate.. What do you call two Mexican firemen? Jose and hose-B. Why were there only 400 Mexicans that the Alamo? They could only find two buses.. What's a seven-course meal in Ireland? A baked potato and a six-pack.. How do you make a Norwegian woman more attractive? You give her a massage rubbed with lutefisk. How do you get Minnesotans to buy Queen's tix? Offer 'em Grain Belt at $7.50/bottle..
Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69 Pro-Constitution. LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,786
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,786 |
RE: "Oh Hell !!" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Q: What is the difference between a woman sitting in a bathtub, and a woman sitting in church?
A: One of the women has hope in her soul.
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Posts: 24,368
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 24,368 |
Folks that are offended by a simple word or two, must not think much of themselves to begin with.
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Posts: 6,120
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120 |
When in Rome:
What does Michael Jackson and a Silver Medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind.
How do you stop five black men raping a white woman? Throw them a basketball.
Why is a dog turd better than a black dude? Because eventually a dog turd turns white and stops stinkin'
What do you call two lesbians on their period? Finger painters
"Meat", "Wife", "Blow job". Which of these words doesn't belong? Blow job because you can beat your meat, you can beat your wife, but you can't beat a blow job.
A family of skunks and a family of ducks were crossing the street, when a huge truck came full speed and killed each animal, except one skunk and one duck. The duck started crying, and the skunk asked him 'What's the matter?'. The duck said 'Well, all my family got killed, I don't know who I am anymore'. The skunk replied 'Well it's easy.. you're yellow, you got a beak, and you got palms on your feet. You're a duck!'. Then the skunk started crying too. The duck asked 'What's the matter?'. The skunk said 'Well, my whole family's dead too.. so I don't know who I am either'. The duck said 'Well.. you're not white, you're not black, and you [bleep] stink... you're a Arab!'
Last edited by Irving_D; 09/24/11.
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Posts: 8,557
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Posts: 8,557 |
How do you scare a democrat? Say your a gainfully employed church going family man.
How do you know when a democrat is lying? When his mouth is moving.
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Posts: 2,535
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,535 |
what do a mexican and a cueball have in common?
if you hit them right they pick up more english.
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Posts: 46,243
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 46,243 |
I heard grambling college professors have found out what causes sickle cell anemia in african americans. "Lickin' food stamps" Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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Posts: 4,051 |
A white guy, a Black guy and a [bleep] are interviewing for a job in AZ. The interviewer said the first person that can fly to our other office in NY will get the job. Who do you think got the job?
The [bleep] did. Why? Cuz he already had his chit packed!
Not the best and I am sure a little off but atleast the punch line was right.lol
Kique
Enrique O. Ramirez CLAN OF THE BORDER RATS - Member
"..faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.." Hebrews 11:1
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Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
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Posts: 244 |
Why did the arab trade his wife for an outhouse?
Because the hole was smaller and it smelled better.
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Posts: 2,040
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Posts: 2,040 |
Lmfao bout swalloed my dip. Onlyone i can think of is real bad so ill have to think about it b4 i post it lol.
Rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Q. Why do low riders have them little steering wheels?
A. So the homies can still drive wearing handcuff's.
Q. What do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three piece suit?
A. Will the defendant please rise.
Q. Three Mexicans riding in the back seat of a car, who is driving?
A. The arresting officer.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
Q: Why do Eyetalian boys grow mustaches???
A: So they can look just like Mom
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish!
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Posts: 4,051
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,051 |
Bump so more peoplecan be offended.lol
Enrique O. Ramirez CLAN OF THE BORDER RATS - Member
"..faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.." Hebrews 11:1
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Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get 'em down> Tell Messican kids they're pi�atas.
(Even I groan at those!)
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
Why did medics have to coin the phrase premenstrual syndrome?
Mad-cow disease already applied to something else.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
Why do Saudis smell bad?
So that the blind can also hate 'em.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Posts: 17,048
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,048 |
What did the blind guy say as he passed the fresh fish market? Good morning, Ladies.
How do you babysit a little black kid? Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
Do you know why Mexicans and Blacks never intermarry? They don't want kids laying around the house that are too lazy to steal.
How do you starve a black guy? Hide his foods tamps under his work boots.
How many Mexicans does it take to grease a car? Just one if you hit him square.
Why do Saudi's never teach sex ed and driver's ed on the same day? Too taxing for the camels.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
It's politically incorrect, rude, and an inconscionable racial slur to refer to Messicans as "greasers."
They're Lubricanos.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120 |
It's politically incorrect, rude, and an inconscionable racial slur to refer to Messicans as "greasers."
They're Lubricanos. TFF
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
How many Muslims does it take to roof a house?
Depends on the size of the house. Three or four should do it, if you hammer 'em out flat enough.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120 |
I apologize in advance for this one: Two condoms are walking past a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Wanna go get [bleep]
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Posts: 6,120
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120 |
Why weren't there any blacks on the Flintstones? They were still monkeys back then.-
John sits down at a bar, looking very dejected. His friend Steve asks what's wrong. "It's my mother-in-law, I have a real problem with her." "Don't worry" Steve says. "Everyone has a problem with their mother-in-law." "Yeah", John says, "But I got mine pregnant-
How do you piss off Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Posts: 6,120
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,120 |
How much fluid will fit into Monica Lewinski's mouth? One U.S. Leader
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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