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Joined: Feb 2001
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T LEE Offline OP
Campfire Kahuna
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Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?

A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans
On Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a
recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?

A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this
[bleep].'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the
United States



George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!

Old cat turd!

"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.

I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me


BP-B2

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Campfire Ranger
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Number 4 offends me!







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LOL-- those are good!!


Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist

Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"

This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Campfire Ranger
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Let 'em be offended. "They" will have to wait a bit to heard however - as my laughter is quite loud.

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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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I am deeply offended by people who are offended by things I find inoffensive.


Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

IC B2

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Here is another good batch of the offensive...I'm counting on the software to do my editing of profanity.


Warning: These jokes may offend you....if so, too bad.
____________________________________________________

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, �[bleep] that � knowing my luck, I�d win one!�


What�s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn�t claim benefits, had his own [bleep] bike, and wanted to go home!
____________________________________________________

A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed.
The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes and the guy says, �I can�t believe they [bleep] my wife after only five beers!�
____________________________________________________

Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. �Can I stay at your house for a while?
The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
It just reaches the back of her sister�s throat!�

______________________________________________________


* Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, �It�s my husband! Quick, try the back door!�
Thinking back, I really should have ran � but you don�t get offers like that every day.
____________________________________________________

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the [bleep] out of this idiot at a party. In my defense�when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
____________________________________________________

My wife just came in and said, �I don�t know if I am coming or going.
�I said to her, �Judging by the look on your face, you�re going � �cus when you�re coming, you look like a [bleep] Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!�
____________________________________________________

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I [bleep] a girl called Penny � is that spooky or what?
_____________________________________________________










Joined: Jan 2007
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J
Campfire Tracker
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J
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At first I was offended that you left me out.So I read it again,#9 I feel better now.


Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"

He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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P
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P
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An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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None of these offend me - that in and of itself offends me.


Me



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4
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4
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The Zoo and Fairy Tale ones were pretty darn funny... and spot on!

IC B3

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Campfire Ranger
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Quote
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A. A speech impediment.

� Real-world (Jeddah) equivalent �

Saudi who can't drive his car because the horn won't blow.



� Corollary �

What does a one-armed Italian need most?

An interpreter.

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Campfire Ranger
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Originally Posted by RockyRaab
I am deeply offended by people who are offended by things I find inoffensive.


This.
I think.
grin


"For joy of knowing what may not be known we take the golden road to Samarkand."
James Elroy Flecker







Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 78,300
Campfire Oracle
Online Content
Campfire Oracle
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Posts: 78,300
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive....

Clearly racist... wink


"...the left considers you vermin, and they'll kill you given the chance..." Bristoe
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Originally Posted by ingwe
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive....

Clearly racist... wink


Ok, just for you. One African-American joke..... Barrack Hussein Obama.


Did you hear Obama gave up making speeches in the south cause every time he got on stage the rednecks would start bidding on him?


The original international turd
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G
Gus Offline
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Originally Posted by maarty
Originally Posted by ingwe
I find the lack of an anecdote about African-Americans in the OP offensive....

Clearly racist... wink


Ok, just for you. One African-American joke..... Barrack Hussein Obama.


Did you hear Obama gave up making speeches in the south cause every time he got on stage the rednecks would start bidding on him?


i'm a Southerner and i'm deeply afended with that remark. i clearly state for the world to know that the Hussein man is not for sale. no matter what Soros might or might not offer.


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Posts: 73,096
T LEE Offline OP
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
[Linked Image]


George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!

Old cat turd!

"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.

I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me


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Posts: 16,554
Campfire Ranger
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Posts: 16,554
I am SO offended by this thread! (When do I get my check?)


The key elements in human thinking are not numbers but labels of fuzzy sets. -- L. Zadeh

Which explains a lot.
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R
Campfire Kahuna
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R
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Posts: 59,055
Didn't read 'em all, so apology up front if duplicate..

What do you call two Mexican firemen? Jose and hose-B.

Why were there only 400 Mexicans that the Alamo? They could only find two buses..

What's a seven-course meal in Ireland? A baked potato and a six-pack..

How do you make a Norwegian woman more attractive? You give her a massage rubbed with lutefisk.

How do you get Minnesotans to buy Queen's tix? Offer 'em Grain Belt at $7.50/bottle..




laugh laugh laugh


Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69
Pro-Constitution.
LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
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RE: "Oh Hell !!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Q: What is the difference between a woman sitting in a bathtub,
and a woman sitting in church?

A: One of the women has hope in her soul.


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7
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Folks that are offended by a simple word or two, must not think much of themselves to begin with.

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