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Hopefully he's marrying up.....

My wife & I had a small country church wedding. I paid for the preacher , piano player & cake. Some folks here in the community pitched in some grub for the reception at the church. That was it.


Mike

What he said.

The 15K is a separate issue IMO.

Dale

The burden is only put on you if you want it to be. If you end up paying for it and don't like it, you have only yourself to blame.

As others have said, my wife and I paid for the majority of our own wedding. Our parents paid for some, but we didn't ask or expect them to. We will do what we can for our kids, but won't be taking out loans for their weddings or honeymoon, I can assure you of that.

Your son and future daughter-in-law should be the ones to figure this out and plan a wedding with the means available to them. Nice weddings don't have to be expensive.


As far as your son owing you 15K, thats a separate issue. I've always gone on the assumption that any money given to family members is a gift. If they pay it back, great, but I don't loan family members money with the expectations of ever seeing it again.

We eloped in Las Vegas. Best decision we made. It's not for everyone, but for us it made sense. We planned it for several months and pulled it off without telling anyone.

We had the wedding WE wanted on OUR dime. The wedding should be about the couple, and not the show.

We paid for it ourselves. My wife's parents gave us the money they had been putting away for her wedding, and we put it towards our house.

We didn't have the awkward invitations to people and relatives we didn't really know. Some people sent cards and gifts, and some didn't. No big deal.

The only person who was upset was my sister-in-law. The heck with her.

You've got to remember a wedding is simply a public display of what the guests, and God or whoever, already know. Those that matter know the bride and groom love each other and want to spend their lives together.

No need for a big deal, just the bride and groom, however many witnesses are needed and a celebrant.
Get someone to video it and send copies of the video to all the people you would have had on the guest list.


I've seen people spend the same or more on their wedding as they would on a house deposit. Seems pretty pointless to me, especially so when you consider a lot of the guests are only there for the free meal and party after.












Sorry if I sound jaded about weddings but that's how it all seems to me these days.

My son married 2+ years ago. I paid for the rehearsal dinner. My wife and I helped the brides family set up and clean up the church. It was a small scale, family and very few close friends affair. No catering, just friends and family chipping in with cooking and serving. She left him a year later. Knew that was going to happen on the wedding day, but some things your kids just have to learn on their own. Glad I didn't spend a lot on that one.

My daughter married on April 21 of this year. We gave her a budget, anything over that she and her future husband could pay for. It was a DIY affair. My wife cooked and froze food for weeks ahead of time as well as sewing and making decorations, as did my mom and mother in law. We spent 2 days decorating the church ourselves and cleaning up after. My wife made new curtains and other decorations which we donated to the church afterward.

It didn't really cost that much, and wouldn't have meant anymore if it had. My daughter chose wisely and married a great guy. That is what really matters. If a fancy wedding is more important then the long term chances are more questionable.

We wanted a simple wedding, in the chapel, just witnesses, the priest, and immediate family with an open reception after. Every one but my mother agreed and she got her way. In her opinion if you invite them to the reception you have to invite them to the wedding.
Kept it small, one attendant on each side, ushers, guest book attendant. Had a friend sing and a string quartet (featuring two of my oncologists daughters) provided the music which, in my opinion, was wonderful.
Had an open reception after. Wife and MIL did most of the cooking and all of the decorations. Had a band made up of friends play at the reception and they were great.
Cost us maybe 2g, most out of our own pockets.
My advice-keep it simple and meaningful. EVERYONE who had a part in the wedding inclusing the singer, band, and quartet, meant something to us.
I will never forget it.

The groom don't care anyway he just wants to get it over with and on to the more inportant stuff. [/quote]


Yep.........fishin' and huntin'.


My parents paid for the rehersal dinner and all the tuxes (and perhaps one or 2 more things I can't remember). Understand however, this was in '76 and all that Dear Abby "appropriate" stuff then may not be considered so today. I'm thinkin' that the bride and groom should feel appreciative IF either parents thoughtfully contribute financially to their wedding.

Just my thoughts............

My wife and I paid for our own wedding. It was a small and very simple ceremony. With what I some of our friends are spending on weddings, we used that to put a downpayment on our house. The house is gonna last a he!! of a lot longer than the ceremony.

we had a very traditional wedding my In-laws did what they were suppost to and my folks did what they were suppost to and my grooms men got drunk like they were suppost to. And I washed my truck for the very first time.

Their getting married they can go into debt for any amount they want too.

It was my first wedding, wifes second, I paid for it, although on the day of the wedding which was held at her parents home as they would not agree to have the wedding at their summer home on the lake, and because daughter had been married we did not get to have a church wedding, her parents said they would pay the caterer the four hundred dollar cost.
We did not get away for a honeymoon right away as we had to return all the rental stuff first.
And now it seems I am still paying for it.

Momma and I paid for our own wedding and don't regret it 1 bit.Everything was the way we wanted it to be,neither 1 of us are flucy people.W e will be married 30 years Sept. 26th of this year,so I guess it all worked out.

justice of the peace accomplishes the same end result

FWIW wife and I got married by our pastor out under some huge old live oaks at a Lutheran Camp locally.

We had decided that the cost of weddings was about stupid, and so we did that, we are much more comfortable in jeans day in and day out so why get dressed up? What was the purpose, what is the purpose?

We caught a bunch of fish and friends helped put on a fish fry as a feed.

We ended up spending what we had on vacation IE honeymoon to Alaska.

We invited close friends and family and thats about it. Folks we invite to parties normally.

As to who paid what, my parents and her parents chipped in some, mine more because they wanted to, but we paid for a lot of it on our own.

Weddings and Funerals are way to expensive and in the end really net not a dang thing.

Some people want "the prom". It is neither good or bad. If a bride wants to live out her wedding day (celebrity for a day) with the big church wedding, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl/ring bearer, sit down dinner reception for 250 guests, DJ and dancing, photographers, etc.. and have it paid for (by me); lucky her. My daughters wedding is this coming Saturday. She graduated from Campbell University with a degree in English. She just finished her first year teaching HS English with a 90% passing rate on her EOCs. No one is obligated to pay for a wedding. Tradition is just excuses. Whoever wants the "big shindig" should pay. I wanted her and her mother to truly enjoy a memorable day in the way they have always envisioned it. All I see is that sweet little, cuddly thing I made promises to 25 years ago when I held her for the 1st time.

For one thing, the "wedding industry" is a huge ripoff.

Other than that, I believe that adults should pay for their own weddings.

If they're old enough to get married, they're old enough to pay their own way.

A lot of people I know don't like Las Vegas, but the hotels all have wedding planners. If you have people coming from out of town it really makes it nice. You tell them how many guests and how much you want to spend on the ceremony. They will be able to cater to that. You will also, get room rates for the guests and you don't have to entertain everyone.

Do not pay for schit.

Tell them both if they wanted a bigger wedding, her parents should have done better in life.


Travis