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#6582599 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: heavywalker]
efw Offline
Campfire 'Bwana

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 14009
Loc: Mi.
Originally Posted By: heavywalker
I paid for my own wedding so I would say that any amount of money that you or the brides parents kick in would, and should, be a blessing. Pay what you can afford and if they don't like it, they can scale back the wedding.


Well said; neither of our parents were able to help and we wanted no debt so we eloped. Ain't no thang.
_________________________
Don't you ever wonder why
In spite of all that's wrong here
There's still so much that goes so right
And beauty abounds?

The thunder rolls and the baby sighs
And the rain comes down
Don't you wanta thank someone for this?
-Andrew Peterson

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#6582621 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: woofer]
16bore Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 02/19/10
Posts: 7762
My wife and I paid for everything ourselves, and did it under $5,000. We were engaged for about a year, and all along the way, people offered to help. Brother-in-law owned a restaurant and gave us beer for the reception. Uncle had a ice cream parlor and got us soft drinks. Grandmother wanted to do flowers, so we just let her roll with it. Wife's aunt wanted to do hair and made the gals a breakfast. Her dress was off the clearance rack for $100 and she had modifications/alterations done and it was beautiful. We put up a monster tent on their farm for the reception. So on and so on...In about a year all the pieces fell into place. People would offer to do something, and we'd just let them. It made for a great day....

I've been to weddings where most of the guests were from Daddy's office and Mommy's sewing circle and they flat out sucked. The B&G were nothing but stressed the entire time like it was a phucking presidential gala. "oh we have to go shake hands with this person...blah, blah"

My feeling is that if you have to introduce your wife to a new face on your wedding day, they prolly shouldn't have been on the guest list to begin with..
_________________________
The perfect is the enemy of the good

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#6582628 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: saddlesore]
Leanwolf Offline
Campfire Tracker

Registered: 05/02/03
Posts: 6100
Loc: Boise, Idaho
Originally Posted By: saddlesore
Originally Posted By: Itasca
Thanks all for the replys. They make my decision a bit easier.

Part of the problem is, our son owes me over 15k. Any suggestions?


Tell him that $15K is his wedding present and payment for the wedding also.If he is in debt $15 ,he sure does not need a big bash for a wedding.


Saddlesore nailed it.

L.W.
_________________________
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)

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#6582997 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: Itasca]
Hotload Offline
Campfire Tracker

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 5200
Loc: Md
Originally Posted By: Itasca
Our son is getting married this fall. I know about a fall wedding, busy hunting at that time (LOL).

Any way I paid the vast majority of the wedding when our daughter got married 10 years ago. It turns out that our son's bride parents will only chip in a small amount. I feel the burden is put on me. My wife & son are keeping silent on the issue.
Any thoughts??



My wife and I paid for the wedding. So far we have never asked her parents or mine for any money. I much prefer it this way.
_________________________
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much" Teddy Roosevelt

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#6583198 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: Itasca]
RickyD Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 33699
Loc: Iowa
Quote:
It turns out that our son's bride parents will only chip in a small amount.
Tell 'em they're having a small wedding, then.

I'm paying for my daughter's right now. Gotta go change for it now. I sure wouldn't step in for my son's, unless I wanted to, and I can't see that happening anytime soon.
_________________________
We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?

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#6583345 - 06/10/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: RickyD]
Itasca Offline
Campfire Regular

Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 256
Loc: MN, Itasca Co.
Thanks all for the opinions. I'll let you know how things turn out.

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#6583795 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: Itasca]
16bore Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 02/19/10
Posts: 7762
One of the funniest toasts I ever heard was a guy that said "and above all, I hope that all your kids are born naked"

maybe I was drunk....

good luck!
_________________________
The perfect is the enemy of the good

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#6584015 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: 308scout]
Rock Chuck Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 01/05/06
Posts: 33615
Loc: Filer, ID
When my BIL got married, they were struggling to finance the thing. He'd asked several of us close relatives to be groomsmen but he was having a real hard time figuring out how to afford the tuxes. I told him to go with the black suits that we all had and put the money to a better use. It didn't take him long to agree.
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Eat your food as your medicines.
Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food.

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#6584699 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: 16bore]
RickyD Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 33699
Loc: Iowa
Originally Posted By: 16bore
One of the funniest toasts I ever heard was a guy that said "and above all, I hope that all your kids are born naked"

Woulda made for an interesting evening if it was from the step-father of the bride.
_________________________
We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?

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#6584715 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: rost495]
Colorado1135 Offline
Campfire 'Bwana

Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 11173
Loc: SW, SD
Originally Posted By: rost495
Originally Posted By: sactoller
My brother told me after he got married, that he figured there are two reasons to get married, love or money....he keeps telling me to go for the money!

laugh


He is wrong.


well getting married for sex is like buying a jumbo jet for the free peanuts
_________________________
Beware of any old man in a profession where one usually dies young.

Calm seas don't make sailors.

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#6584790 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: Itasca]
ColdBore Offline
Campfire Outfitter

Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8759
Originally Posted By: Itasca
Our son is getting married this fall. I know about a fall wedding, busy hunting at that time (LOL).


I had a relative get married on the first day of archery season once! eek

And he's a hunter!! shocked

Funny what the bride can talk guys in to...

As for me; my wife & I paid for it. That way, we got to make the rules. wink

Very small (10 people), outdoors, beside Oak Creek in Sedona.

As others have said, weddings are just very expensive parties for your friends and a whole bunch of other people that you barely know.

We put the money in to building a new house, and taking a 10 year (rather than 30 year) mortgage to pay it off. Money MUCH wiser spent than a big elaborate wedding.

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#6584884 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: heavywalker]
tzone Offline
Campfire Oracle

Registered: 02/23/04
Posts: 32474
Loc: MN
Originally Posted By: heavywalker
I paid for my own wedding so I would say that any amount of money that you or the brides parents kick in would, and should, be a blessing. Pay what you can afford and if they don't like it, they can scale back the wedding.


This is how we handled it as well.
_________________________
I won't go drinkin with ya Jake. But I'll go chasin women.

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#6585154 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: tzone]
plainsman456 Offline
Campfire Guide

Registered: 02/15/09
Posts: 4167
Loc: Texas
We got married in the Lutheran church.
The only expense was the preacher's fee,we all went to a steak house for a meal after.
Things went well after eating,we were at home when my little brother came knocking at the door.
He was to late to interrupt anything.

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#6585166 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: Itasca]
StrayDog Offline
Campfire Tracker

Registered: 03/17/04
Posts: 5996
Loc: Texas
Tell your son and his bride a justice of the peace wedding will cost less than $100, and they want start their life together in the hole for a several thousand dollar party.

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#6585182 - 06/11/12 Re: Weddings (whats fair) [Re: StrayDog]
LeonHitchcox Offline
Campfire Guide

Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4498
Loc: Pikeville, TN
I don't know why so many brides want to impress everyone with the size and pomp of their weddings. Saturday afternoon I photographed the wedding of a friend's daughter. She didn't have much money, so she made the decorations and kept everything simple. I was more impressed by her use of ingenuity that by the use of $$$ in so many other weddings. At the end of the day they were just as married as the other couples and the costs were negligible. I have seen weddings so expensive that the couple could have paid for a Hawaiian honeymoon with less.

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