Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Dumb stuff you'll admit to

Too funny! She musta thought you were some kinda pervert.

When I was a kid I was burning some garbage on my grandma's property with one of my friends. It wasnt a very big pile of
garbage and we were waiting for it to burn up so we could go
do something else. I found an old small lady's spray deodorant
can in the weeds and we were wondering if it would explode if
we threw it in the fire. I tossed it in the fire and nothing
happened. About 5 minutes later my dad showed up and was talking
to us while watching the fire. I had forgotten about the spray
can and my dad was standing in front of the fire when the can
suddenly came shooting out of the fire like some kind of firework on the 4th and missed my dad by a few inches. It didnt explode but it made a loud hissing noise and flew a good
40 or 50 yards. My dad gave us a look like "what the heck was that?"

Yes.

And because fair is fair, I'll add one of my own (such a wealth of fodder, but this is a good one).

One sunny August day in 1986, I drank a quart of vodka and decided I was OK to take my buddy's Ninja for a spin. I went down doing 80 on a hard left turn in traffic, with cars parked on both sides. Bike ended up in a dozen pieces. About the same as me. I was clinically dead for some 8-12 minutes, depending on who was asked. Cost me a lung, more than 35 days in ICU, half a dozen broken bones, massive tissue damage, some 300+ sutures and 4 major surgeries.

So, what do I win?

Good times.

The "Steel balls" award. And a "glad you made it" pat on the back.

We were moving hay bales down from the top floor of a three story barn by dropping them out of a window to the back end of a wagon attached to the tractor. Three of our other brothersd were stacking them up nice and neat on the hay wagon. My younger brother was doing his best to help but he was scared witless by even a height of thirty feet so he used a triple loop of bailing twine to tie himself to a bale of hay that was sitting next to the window - and where we rested and had a drink of water when the heat was about to make us pass out. We has just completed the last bale when he stood up and said - Well I guess there is room for one more as he pushed the bale he had been sitting on - and was well attached to by a six foot hunk of bailing twine - out the open window. It took all of a nano second or two for him to realize what he had done and was about to do. I'm still laughing right now, thirty some years later. The look on his face was beyond description. Luckily he landed on the pile of hay bales, which at this point in time was only 12 feet below the window, but he didn't know that when he was unceremoniously yanked backwards out the window.

Good days and good brothers!

Steel head award, more like. GD idiot I was, and lucky to still haunt this lovely blue marble after that day. The pat on the back I'll take, though.

When I was about 10, it was my job to burn the garbage out back in the wire incinerator. As I was standing there one gray spring day, I noticed that the onions that had not been pulled from the garden now had very dry-looking tops. I snapped one off, noticed how brittle and dry it was, snapped off the other end, and had a sudden stroke of genius. Thus began the only venture that I have ever had into the world of smoking. I stuffed the organic tube full of dry grass, stuck one end into the fire, noticed the thick smoke curling from the end nearest me, inserted said end into my mouth, and took a hard pull. This resulted in the burning grass instantly transitioning from the tube into my mouth. The experience was not exactly a pleasant one and convinced me that any form of smoking was best left to others.

You are VERY LUCKY and the pat on the back,consider it done.

Not me but a very good pard decided the elk scent might cover his so he sprayed it on his clothes...contrary to the directions...He spent the day playing cat and mouse with a rather large black bear that thought he smelled the Mother Load...btw he was archery hunting elk.

I finished a day shooting with one round left for my pistol. I stuck it in the cylinder and thought, five actions and it will be in battery. So I pointed it down in front of my feet and pulled the trigger. Bang. Scared the heck outta me.

To this day I have no good explanation for why but....

When I was 10 or 11 I cut the exposed portion of a bullet from a .22. Left with a case and a little lead in the end I laid it on the concrete walkway to my house. I got a hammer and proceeded to hammer the whole thing flat. Was pretty good and flat and I gave it one last smack. BANG Oh crap, I wonder if anybody else heard that? I went and put the hammer up and my arm felt wet. WTF? Looked down and my arm and jeans were all bloody. Sure enough a sliver of lead had gone into my arm on the inside of my elbow. I went inside and using rubbing alcohol and a razor I attempted to dig it out, but realized quickly it wasn't going to happen. My older sister was waitressing at the time, and I called her to come and take me to the ER. Turned out to be no big deal, and as far as I know it's still in there. But damned was I more than a little worried for a bit.

My brother and a buddy were camping for a week on a long point at a local lake. I was hiking in to check on them when I heard a pretty loud pop. It wasn't a gun, but I couldn't place it. So I picked up my pace and came over the last hill above the campsite just to see the two of them tearing off clothes and jumping in the lake. One of the dimwits decided baked beans sounded good, so they threw the intact can in the fire. Needless to say, the boys both had burns on exposed skin from the bean bomb that blew up. The best part was the burn holes where the beans went in one side and out the other of the tent. I nearly pissed myself laughing.

Stuck a .22 shell in a medium fresh cow pie; hit it first shot. Cow flop shoe to knees. Long bicycle ride home; difficult explanation.

Knew a guy who would get silly when drinking beer but was other
wise pretty harmless. One Sunday afternoon his two kids were
gathering apples in the back yard and putting them in baskets.
He was feeling pretty good and took an old fishing pole and stuck
a small apple on the end of it and proceeded to show his small
children how far daddy could launch an apple across the highway
which was about 150 yards from the yard. After about the 10th
apple got thrown and listening to his kids laugh hysterically at his drunk actions, he turned around to find a small crowd of
neighbors and one police cruiser in his driveway. He didnt hit
any cars but someone called the PD about apples landing on the
freeway. His wife came out of the house and started screaming about wanting a divorce after the officer told her about the complaint. The officer stood and listened to the wife rant for about a minute and got back in his cruiser and left without issuing a citation.