Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire I sh*t my pants

Everyone keeps TP in their truck. Come on, this thread is about outdoorsmen who occasionally screw up.

Happened to me one time. I lucked out (I thought) when I had access to the woods. Unfortunately I wiped my ass thoroughly with poison ivy....

A CITY kid from down the street wanted to follow my buddy and me one day on an expedition for blue quail with our BB guns in the rough and snake infested rocky country outside the limits of Big Springs when we were in the fourth grade. We took some stale sandwiches of cheese, mayo, and potato chips from the previous nights campout and made a big trek through the back country. We forgot water and drank from some puddles in the draw miles below the Indian springs.

As we drew near to the settlement on our evening return the tag along said he had to get as he had to chitt.

He left us at a sudden gallop but after covering a hundred of the three left to make it to the housing, he suddenly stopped, spread his legs and humped up for a bit as he filled his pants with it. He then started crying and headed home.

We didn't know what the hell would come of this weird and life threatening event. i mean, what the hell would he tell his mom? Maybe he would be kicked out or even disowned. Surely he would get a good thrashing.

Darn. He had told us that he had to crap. We just never new he had meant right then. We had never seen such a thing.

We couldn't figure out why didnt he just head for and behind a big old rock, take a dump and use a sock. I remember looking at a big old caliche rock he had just run by.

I mean, hell, boys are always losing socks.

I well remember the time I was wearing waders trying to wade throew the Bayou to a nice ridge I knew of when the urge hit me,I stood up on a Cypress Knee doing a balancing act which was already hurting putting all my weight on the rounded ends of the knee,leaning against the tree and carefully got my waders pulled down and pants down and took a dump.
I felt pretty smug and smart in handling the situation till I realized I hadn,t missed the waders but instead just filled the up.
In retrospect I might as well just stood there in the water and went,instead of going threw the contortions of getting out of the water.
That was over 35 years ago an I still remember it.

Everyone needs one of these. Pull over. Take a crap. Drive away.

Eurika

Ha, TFF

My stomach is hurtin' from laffin' . . . . . I may need to take a sh*t.

I gotta have me one of those. My knees are too shot to squat anymore. And a Spyderco Police Model Knife is great for cutting off your under wear! Don't ask me how I know
Like someone mentioned earlier, it's better to go commando than walk with just one sock

damn i'm glad it ain't just me.

always had screwy bowels and i have been teased more than a little by friends and family who have witnessed my "gotta go. in five seconds." situations.

i do know my dad's hunting buddy had that problem and dropped his coveralls and [bleep] right into the hood and only found out when he pulled them up.

dad said he waded right into the 35 degree creek to clean up.

ha ha

Coworker crapped in the hood of his Cardhart overalls hunting one morning. Yes and unbeknowing put them back on! Bad scene!

As for me my knife of choice for underwear removal is the old Marbles Ideal!

Has been awhile since I laughed so much over potty humor.

I remember my Dad, making breakfast in deer camp, would always put out a jar of Arnolds "Chilitos Encurtidos". And say, "if you eat more than one with breakfast, take some TP out with ya!"

As usual, he was right!

Sycamore

May as well share my shame too. Many years ago I had it hit me too. The pain and gurgling was rough but I decided I could make it one more exit. I was �lucky� enough to make it to the gas station bathroom. However, on the way to sitting, I exploded from the inside. It was everywhere. The seat. The floor. My shirt. Did I mention the seat? I did not realize I scatter gunned the stall until it was too late and I was sitting. My shirt tail was covered in poo, my t-shirt as well. Ironically, the one thing that remained unsoiled was my shorts. Tragically, I had to take my shirt off over my head. I believe that part of the story is understood. As I stood at the sink attempting to wash my shirt, some guy walks in to use the bathroom. He opens the stall and about pukes. The look he gave me on the way out was priceless. He muttered something and I just said �tell me about it�. I figure the guy said something to the clerk and when I walked out shirtless, I�m sure she was thinking WTH. Had to tell the bride and a few buddies the whole thing.

Not quite a dump in my jeans story but close enough. I was all of 11 years old and my dad took me der hunting, Now he wasn't a hunter but fixed so I could hunt with freinds of his and he came along. So here I am with my Great granfather's 30-30 Win. M94 carbine in my grubby little paws and even with no deer in sight the adrenaline was flowing like water over Niagra Falls. Finally, I couldn't hold it much longer so the old man hands me a roll of film for the Brownie and I head off to a bush a bit away from the stand. I set my rifle against another bust within reach and and doing the deer when damn me if a legal buck didn't walk right past me and go on his way. I grabbed the 30-30 and put one right up the exhaust pipe while still in the squirting stage and position. My balance was precarious enough before the shot but when the gun went off I went back and landed in the nice fresh pile, the deer dropped dead and my old man couldn't stop laughing. Took that whole roll of "film" and both our canteens to make me fit for human company again. And that is how I took my ever first deer at age 11. I can laugh about it now but back then it was, to me anyway a disaster.
Paul B.

I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.

Both stories there are TFF.

One time while driving to a motel after squirrels hunting in MN i had a feeling of urgency. I luckily hit every green light and things were looking good on my part. You guys all know that the closer you get to the throne, the worse the need is, well I hit the hotel entry door, ran down the hall with key in hand, opened my room door and while dropping trow, I backed into the bathroom and let fly! Huge disappointment! The toilet lid was closed. I am not writing any more.

Interesting thing... happened at Zimmerhanzels in Smithville. And 21 minutes later is having the issue.... Thats exactly at La Grange. 3 exits minimum with facilities.
And if thats not enough... 5 or so more minutes down the road is Ellinger with at least 2 sets of facilities.

Its at least 50 minutes from Smithville to get to the on ramp to get to I-10

Funny story though.