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Joined: Oct 2014
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squesh Offline OP
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Little kids check under their beds for monsters. Monsters check under their beds for Chuck. :-)

They were going to put Chuck on Mt Rushmore, but then decided that the granite was not tough enough to simulate his beard.

GB2

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Tough guys sleep with a gun under their pillow. Chuck sleeps with a gun as a pillow.


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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.

Spiderman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed.

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Chuck doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down.

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"To be glad of life because it gives you a chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. To be satisfied with your possessions but not content with yourself until you have made the best of them."
-Henry Van Dyke
Joined: Dec 2008
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Chuck does not like honey, he chews bees.


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IC B2

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Chuck Norris put the laughter in manslaughter.

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They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris, but nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns.

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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Joined: Dec 2003
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Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer.

Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.


If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli

American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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The outlaw Josey Wales ......
"Chuck Norris ? Never heard of her ! " ( spits chaw on your boots )


"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants".
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Chick Norris once fought superman with the stipulation that the loser would have to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.


Beware of any old man in a profession where one usually dies young.

Calm seas don't make sailors.
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when you see chuck norris you are in immediate danger, when you can't see him you may be merely seconds away from death.


Beware of any old man in a profession where one usually dies young.

Calm seas don't make sailors.
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Chuck Norris has grizzly bear rugs in his bedroom. The bears aren't dead, they're just afraid to move.

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Chuck Norris hasn't walked on water yet... But he's got a learner's permit.


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