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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 24,369
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 24,369 |
Tomorrow is the best day for the beginning of the rest of your life.
I have a couple of Ex's, one I have not seen or heard from in over 40 years, and the other I had not seen nor spoken in over ten until I ran into her in a parking lot last week.
Conversation went as follows
Her , said "hi" or something I didn't really hear.
Me, "hurrumph" and walk into the store.
Her confronting me inside, "don't you have something to say?"
Me, "what do you want me to say?"
Her, "Hello would be nice."
me, "Hello"
Her, "Ok now I get it"
and we both walked away.
I did get a "life is to short to be angry, happy birthday" text the next day and will respond to that one the same way I have to others, which is I won't.
Move on my friend, even though it may hurt now, life will be better soon.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,941
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,941 |
Never been through a divorce so no BTDT advice from me other than I've known quite a few over the years that have been through it and several of those eventually wound up with full custody of their children when the kiddos started interfering with the ex's newly chosen free spirit, all-about-me, lifestyle.
One old friend was told by his lawyer to not waste any more of his money on trying to win custody in court. His lawyer said he had dealt with her kind too many times in the past and he practically guaranteed sooner than later his ex would voluntarily surrender custody of their child to him. His lawyer was dead-on correct.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,209
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,209 |
Man....I feel for you. I was there a couple years ago. I nearly killed myself, as I was sure my life ane my kid's lives were now destined to be another statistic. Fast forward two years, my kids and I just returned home from a week long vacation at dad's shooting ground squirrels and generally having a ball. I was so very wrong about how life would be.
Take some time to reflect on what you can do better, what your kids need and what is truly important in life. Soon enough you will be able to sleep without wondering what she is doing and eventually she will fade away into an expensive lesson you will not forget. Keep to the high road at all costs.
My ex wanted me to have the weekends deal that is so common. ...I scored 50% and she can't wait to hand them over now.
It will get better....it may get a bit worse before then. ....but it will get better.
I would not buy something that runs on any kind of primer given the possibility of primer shortages and even regulations. In fact, why not buy a flintlock? Really. Rocks aren't going away anytime soon.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,831
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,831 |
My advice is to make your time with your son positive in every way you can. Never put her down in front of him. He will learn the truth.
This was my experience. He's all grown now. We talk about it occasionally. All he really remembers now is what an evil person she had become and how I was still just Dad. We're like best friends now. He don't talk to her much outside of holidays and birthdays. And I STILL remind him to be respectful as she is his mother. And he is. And he still recognizes that as the right thing. It won't be easy. But it'll get better. A lot better. You have to believe that and don't let the anger win.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453 |
breaks my heart for the kid
but sounds like nada you can do about it
save for one thing
be the best dad any kid could ever ask for.
in time it will come with the side benefit of you finding a very good woman that wants you to father one or 9 for her.
best of luck to you, that lil man is gonna need a great dad more than ever Well said. Sound advice. This.
America needs to understand that our troops are not 'disposable'. Each represents a family; Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Cousins, Uncles, Aunts... Our Citizens are our most valuable treasure; we waste far too many.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Prayers and best wishes to you Sir.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 25,840
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 25,840 |
I trust you have a good attorney, if he thinks you should sign it's time to sign
Life sucks right now so don't get cause up in negatives such as all women are out to ruin you
It's like losing the Super Bowl, don't decide to retire right after the game,emotions and feelings over ride fact and reason at this time
Give time a chance to work it's magic before deciding what will be and how it will be
It's all what you make of this situation, this could be the best thing that ever happened to you if you let it be and go out and live your life happy and well
Good luck and know it will be better
My dog is a member of the "Turd Like Clan"
Covert Trail Cameras are JUNK
3 Time Dinkathon Champion #DinkGOAT
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,736
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,736 |
There's stellar advice so far, so I won't bother rehashing it.
Being the best Dad in the world is something no one will ever be able to take away from you. And it's a priceless give for your son.
Godspeed.
FC
"Every day is a holiday, and every meal is a banquet."
- Mrs. FC
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,297
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,297 |
Dogcatcher,these gentlemen are right.Be in it for the long haul and guard the kids from this.30 years ago I took the highroad (hardest thing I have ever done) and saw my kids grow up,saw two grandsons born.A few months back for no reason I know the oldest grandson with his blonde hair messed up from play looked at me with his big blue eyes and said"did nana hurt you". Where did this come from.I don know if this makes the point or not.Even though she means it for evil God will use it for good.
Ideas are far more powerful than guns, We dont let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas. "Joseph Stalin"
He who has braved youths dizzy heat dreads not the frost of age.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,753
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,753 |
My advice is to make your time with your son positive in every way you can. Never put her down in front of him. He will learn the truth. +1
Life is just one damned thing after another
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,104
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,104 |
So she did have a boyfriend?
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,787
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,787 |
[...] Not to mention, there seems to be an underground railroad to get young happy women out of a successful marriage. Bitter old divorced women hate to see another woman happy. Slippery slope, careful there. I truly believe this whole process has forever changed me going forward in life. The only thing that really sunk in was "stuff" and material things simply don't mean crap to me anymore. Not that I was materialistic before, but what an eye opener.
Got to admit, I think every marriage is doomed too. Seems everyone I know has been divorced at least once. I see a good looking gal at the store and think "I wonder if she has ruined anyone yet?"
I know that is a bad attitude, but I can't help it. At least not yet. Focus on your son and "Be Positive". Start right know. If a "bad attitude" can go seeping through forum posts, imagine where else it can go. So, go high - after this ![[Linked Image]](http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj358/mar1895/All/chill.jpg) comes this ![[Linked Image]](http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj358/mar1895/Neu_IMGP1681.jpg) and you will get ![[Linked Image]](http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj358/mar1895/AK08242.jpg) up high.
Member of the Merry Band of turdlike People.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,387
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,387 |
Lots of good advice already given.
I have been where you are at. it sucks. it truly does. will say a prayer for you.
Personally, like was already mentioned, be the best Dad ever for your kid. Don't speak ill of your ex wife to him. Ever.
In time, your son will see who was the steady Eddie parent, and who was the flake. I know this because my daughters, while they love their Mom, have gravitated to me.
Best revenge ever.
"Successful is leaving something in better shape than you inherited it in. Keep that in mind, son." Dad
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,418
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,418 |
See the "underground railroad" every day here at my office. Old divorced women really CAN'T stand happy wives and make it their mission to bring them to the dark side. I've seen it and believed this for years....don't kid yourself, it happens every day.
One of my divorced ladies is constantly trying to take one of our youngest, happily married, ladies to the beach for a "ladies only weekend", hitting the bars and getting laid. To her credit, she refuses to go. My sweet wife, God bless her soul, has the same thing happen to her all the time, and she also refuses to go. Good for me (and her)....she'd have guys on her in a New York second at the meat markets.
You only live once, but...if you do it right, once is enough.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57,474
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57,474 |
Sorry to hear all this.
Seems like marriages more commonly fall apart these days. Just doesn't seem right. Seems like divorce should be uncommon.
Will keep you, your ex and children in our thoughts and prayers.
We can keep Larry Root and all his idiotic blabber and user names on here, but we can't get Ralph back..... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over....
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 |
Strippers
And for what it's worth, you probably haven't bottomed out yet. Don't worry though, once things start to look a little better she'll figure out a way to kick you in your nuts again.
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,691
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,691 |
You have my sorrow as I have been there..for what it is worth from me it will get better. Focus on your son. Never bring her up with him. My friend, I've been down that road too. Everything Keith told you is absolutely the truth. I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish a divorce on anyone. Make sure every moment you spend with your son is quality time. By that, I mean reading to him, telling him stories about when you were a kid, teaching him to fish, and anything else in the outdoors. Don't worry if you aren't able to take him to Disney World twice a year, or some other ridiculous waste of money. What will mean more to him than gold will be spending time with his dad.
"The number one problem with America is, a whole lot of people need shot, and nobody is shooting them."
-Master Chief Hershel Davis
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 |
You have my sorrow as I have been there..for what it is worth from me it will get better. Focus on your son. Never bring her up with him. My friend, I've been down that road too. Everything Keith told you is absolutely the truth. I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish a divorce on anyone. Make sure every moment you spend with your son is quality time. By that, I mean reading to him, telling him stories about when you were a kid, teaching him to fish, and anything else in the outdoors. Don't worry if you aren't able to take him to Disney World twice a year, or some other ridiculous waste of money. What will mean more to him than gold will be spending time with his dad. I'm going to disagree, things don't have to get better but they can always get worse. It takes lots of work to make things better. You don't have to do a damn thing for things to get worse.
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 |
50/50 custody is not bad. And frankly, some dads need 50/50 custody when the new beginning begins. Reason being, you may feel like you're ready to tackle it full time but you may also need some time for yourself. Even though you may not realize you need time to yourself.
This is how you need to approach things as you move forward. And don't be bitter. It's a waste of time and telegraphs what your intentions are. Better that she see you as docile or even chump like from here forward.
Women are stupid. Never forget that. Women. Are. Stupid.
Highly recommend you analyze the schit out of state laws regarding custodial rights and modification of child support. Maybe not today, as your brain needs a break. But don't neglect it too long. There are tons of loopholes and you need to know what they are.
As you move forward, don't think this is the end. It isn't. It's only the beginning. You could still very well end up with full custody of your son in a short amount of time. Learn the law. Know the law. Don't speak ill of the mother. Wait it out. He's going to see what he needs to see.
Being broke and without your children can be depressing. Adopt the prison lifestyle. They can't take your body so make it your temple. Work out and FY with reckless abandon.
It's not uncommon for things that previously brought us joy to stop bringing us joy. See above and think in terms of prison.
She is distracted. You are not. After a little breather learn the laws and start moving forward.
Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,691
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,691 |
50/50 custody is not bad. And frankly, some dads need 50/50 custody when the new beginning begins. Reason being, you may feel like you're ready to tackle it full time but you may also need some time for yourself. Even though you may not realize you need time to yourself.
This is how you need to approach things as you move forward. And don't be bitter. It's a waste of time and telegraphs what your intentions are. Better that she see you as docile or even chump like from here forward.
Women are stupid. Never forget that. Women. Are. Stupid.
Highly recommend you analyze the schit out of state laws regarding custodial rights and modification of child support. Maybe not today, as your brain needs a break. But don't neglect it too long. There are tons of loopholes and you need to know what they are.
As you move forward, don't think this is the end. It isn't. It's only the beginning. You could still very well end up with full custody of your son in a short amount of time. Learn the law. Know the law. Don't speak ill of the mother. Wait it out. He's going to see what he needs to see.
Being broke and without your children can be depressing. Adopt the prison lifestyle. They can't take your body so make it your temple. Work out and FY with reckless abandon.
It's not uncommon for things that previously brought us joy to stop bringing us joy. See above and think in terms of prison.
She is distracted. You are not. After a little breather learn the laws and start moving forward.
Travis Travis, Put Clark on the phone. You are beginning to be too sensible. Excellent post, BTW. CT
"The number one problem with America is, a whole lot of people need shot, and nobody is shooting them."
-Master Chief Hershel Davis
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