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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,445
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,445 |
Wash. DC - Over the past year a rash of news stories surfaced speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family, including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news outlets confirming Jenner's intentions.
Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story and are wondering aloud "What will happen to Jenner's balls if he completes the transition?" Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama. Netanyahu stated "Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be damn nice if he suddenly had Olympic sized balls. It would be a huge step forward for world peace.”
German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked " I don't even have any balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think it would be a great idea.”
On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama's lack of balls has finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly fishing expedition in Kamchatka, said "The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like Reagan's are over. Now it's our turn.“
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that "It's been great the last six years. It's like playing soccer against the U.S. with no goalie in their net ”
While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to the President if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however, cautioned that "The President would have to understand, our balls would be underinflated, but still probably an improvement over what he seems to be working with."
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
Robert E. Howard
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500 |
That is great. Laffin pretty good here.
LOVE God, LOVE your family, LOVE your country, LIKE guns and sports.
About 2016 team "R" candidates "We definitely need a crew with a sack of balls the size of hot water bottles, bloviated estrogen leaking feel-gooders need not apply." Gunner 500
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,490
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,490 |
A most testicular parable.
NRA Member - Life, Benefactor, Patron
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 17,731
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 17,731 |
NRA LIFE MEMBER
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
ESPECIALLY THE SNIPERS!
"Suppose you were an idiot And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
-Mark Twain
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,749
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,778
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,778 |
Not to pick on Great Britain, but if the queen had the balls, she could be king.
Sorry. Couldn't stop myself.
Last edited by 1minute; 03/07/15.
1Minute
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,749
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,749 |
Not to pick on Great Britain, but if the queen had the balls, she could be king.
Sorry. Couldn't stop myself. If it only took balls to be King...Margret Thatcher would have been King and not Prime Minister. 
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