Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy -- just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew that his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather, who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.
Not really, Papa: it was boring. We didn't see a single azzhole, queer, lesbian, piece of crap, horse's azz, socialist-left-wing-Obama lover, blind bastard, dipschit, Muslim-camel-humper, or son-of-a-bitch anywhere we went!" We just drove around, and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun.
Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
ahhhh, so THAT explains why my daughter says she is going to install a 'grandfather monitor' in the car when I take little Parker Helen out for a drive.
Yeah, I get "quoted" back frequently by the twins mom, my wife and the school after the twins and I have been together, what can I say, just a spiteful old codger! At least I don't use the "N" or "F" word in front of them.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
The wife (Mimi) watches the 8 month old grand daughter all week while the kids work
So I (Ugly 'ol Pappy) go over tuesday to visit. We are driving to get something to eat, another car in front of us is driving erratic and when we finally get by Mimi says towards them... thank you, you stupid chit.
I start laughing...
What?
you are cussing if front of the baby.
Opps...
But really it reminded me of something Brea (our daughter) told me once.
She told me since she never cusses, people ask her if she was raised in a home without cussing.
And what did she say...
Uhhh, my dad's a construction worker... after the knowing nod from the listener...
but my Mom... she could talk flies off a gutpile...
Clint loved sports cars but couldn't afford one. So he got his sports-car kicks by identifying and admiring every one that he saw while he was driving about in his old clunker.
Junior loved to go riding and sports-car-watching along with his Dad. After their drive one day, Junior � as usual � rushed into the house and reported excitedly �
"Mama! Mama! We saw a Jaguar, an Aston Martin, a Porsche, and a Stupid Bastard!"
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
Several years ago I was driving with my wife, daughter, son in law and son in the car. I was going around a traffic circle/roundabout in a nearby city and a guy entered the circle from my right, evidently not knowing or caring that the car in the circle has the right away. The stupid bastidge misses us by maybe a foot. Well, I let loose a "you stupid MF" and it is now family "lore" about "Pops using the 'F' word".
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
A young officer whom I served with in the Navy went to a ship mate's home for a big-family Thanksgiving dinner, where he very politely asked somebody at the other end of the table to "Please pass the f�king spuds."
Our division officer was a foul-mouthed old salt who ever so carefully policed his speech around women. One day, he burst into Positive Assembly demanding "Where in the Hell is that God-damn [whatever]?" Then he noticed the WAVE behind the door, turned red, and blurted "Uh oh, f�ked-up again!"
My mother's long-term recovery from risky surgery made it necessary for my brother and me to be farmed-out to kinfolks. I went to live for several months with an uncle in the city, where I kept seeing � as graffiti all over town � a strange new word that I hadn't encountered before and couldn't find in any dictionary at that time (1940 � I was nine). So at the supper table one night, I asked my aunt and uncle "What does f�ck mean?" The world exploded, and I didn't get any kind of explanation.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
We kept our seven year old grandson during fall break. We always play UNO very competitively. He was getting ready for a game.I was finishing up in the kitchen (we feed them well, ice cream and funnel cakes for breakfast, etc.) when he asked, "Ready for your beatin' BITCH!" My wife liked to have choked and her eyes run out on stems. Where did you hear that? That's what Joker said to Batman in one of his movies or games. I'm an ex school principal and nobody, but noboby gets away with stuff like that - except my seven year old grandson. He really did not know it was not proper to call Grandpa a BITCH. The 3 sons loved it and wanted to reward him for his effort.
A dad heard his wee angel going over her arithmetic lesson �
"One plus one, the son of a bitch is two. Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four. One plus two, the son of a bitch is three. � "
He stopped her. Asked where she'd learned such language.
"That's how Teacher told us to do it, Daddy."
Teacher was puzzled when the dad asked her, then laughed ruefully when she realized how " � the sum of which � " had sounded to young ears that were also being "educated on the playground."
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
When I taught third grade, one of the pet projects of a team member was leaf scrapbooks. Each student was required to compile a certain number of leaves taped to paper and then coerce some adult into making a really impressive cover for the collection. A day was set aside for mothers and other available family members to come to school for the grand presentations. One little fellow dutifully stood in front of the assembled multitude, explaining all of the painful details that went into his collection and display. When asked about one of the entries, he came up blank on identifying it. An eager classmate blurted out that they had lots of those along their lane and that they were "piss elms" according to Grandpa.
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
Mine learned to parrot "dough head", which I found I myself having to explain (to their mothers).
Funny thread. My two little ones, almost 6 and just turned 3, have been, how should I say, experimenting lately...
It's hard not to laugh. Especially when they're laughing.
Short sidetrack, if no one minds. (not directed specifically at you Mako. No offense if I've misread "mothers" (plural) as implication.)
Divorced couples should be very careful to not disparage, denigrate, etc, their x spouse in front of the kids, especially little ones. No matter how strong their disagreements or disdain for one another, don't be eager to pass it on.
They'll learn to be sarcastic, cynical, hateful, and insulting fast enough as it is. They need to respect and appreciate and love both parents.
Taint that and you'll plant the seed of rebellion besides hasten the coming of the know-it-all stage.
No matter the circumstances parents should protect their children's innocence. It's going to be shattered and ripped away from them soon enough as it is.
THey grow up too fast. WAY too fast. Avoid every possible future regret as best you can, even the little ones. They add up.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
My poorly constructed sentence was in reference to the mothers of my grandkids.
On that note, several years ago now I laughed 'til I nearly cried at a performance that one of my granddaughters put on. She was scolding her younger sister for some transgression known only to five-year-olds. It's not so much what she said, as how. One hand clinched to a hip, the other resembling the rise and fall of a revolver's barrel as it's fired, she glowered at her kid sister and sneered in a gutteral voice, "and I MEAN it!".
Thought her Dad was gunna swallow his cud, and couldn't help but roar as my daughter turned red as beet.
Each student was required to compile a certain number of leaves taped to paper and then coerce some adult into making a really impressive cover for the collection.
