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I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine

I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I Damn Sure Woke Up With a Few

If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improving

Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Your're Still Here

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Miss Him

She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

She' Lookin' Better With Every Beer

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My Ass All Day


Dave
Sticks and stones may break my bones ... but hollow-points expand on impact.
BP-B2

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Campfire Kahuna
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First one is a classic.


_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack

LOL
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I Got Me A Moody woman and Need a New Meat Smoker.

(Apologies to respondents in the other thread)


Carpe' Scrotum
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"If the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me".

That one got me..... (grin)


Now with even more aplomb
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Originally Posted by Steve
I Got Me A Moody woman and Need a New Meat Smoker.

(Apologies to respondents in the other thread)


Steve ... saw your posts and decided to post this list. Are you gonna show her this list? laugh


Dave
Sticks and stones may break my bones ... but hollow-points expand on impact.
IC B2

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"I Can't Get Over You Till You Get Out From Under Him"

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Originally Posted by DownWind
Originally Posted by Steve
I Got Me A Moody woman and Need a New Meat Smoker.

(Apologies to respondents in the other thread)


Steve ... saw your posts and decided to post this list. Are you gonna show her this list? laugh


Uhhh... No.


Carpe' Scrotum
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How can I miss you if you never go away?



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Its hard to kiss the lips...was actually recorded and the video was hilarious.


Happy Trails!
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Reminds me of something my bud told me recently. True story.

I asked him why he hasn't married his gf of many years. "When I first met her she looked like Elly Mae, now she looks like Granny..."


[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]



IC B3

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Just because you made it hard for me don't mean I'm going to hold it against you.

Lovin you's the dumbest [bleep] thing I've ever done (actual song)

If you really loved me, you'd run off with another man

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"I roll my fat girlfriend in flour and look for the wet spot."

Steve

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"I Gave Her a Ring and She Gave Me The Finger" was performed by Honky Tonk Jukebox, the same fellows that gave the world "Honky Tonk [bleep] " and "It's So Hard to Say I Love You (When You're Sitting on My Face)"



Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer
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I remember watching Johnny Carson when Andrew Lloyd Weber & Sarah Brightman performed. Weber was invited to sit on the couch. Johnny asked if Weber only wrote opera. Weber answered that he had tunes come to him in many different types of music at all times of the day (he kept a notebook to write things down by his bed). Johnny challenged him to go back to he piano and play a country composition.
Weber sat at the piano and thought for a moment. He then played a country tune and sang "my dog done gone runaway and now you're the only bitch I have." Weber didn't get to sing further because Johnny was slapping the desk and busting a gut laughing. Meanwhile Ed McMahon was half slumped out of his chair "Ha,ha, ha,ha" as only he could. I guess Ed and Johnny had been divorced so many times, they could really relate to that line. Interestingly, Weber and Brightman divorced a few months later. Foreshadowing?

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I think I heard " If the phone is'int ringing it's me " on Radio Margaritaville yesterday .


there is no man more free than he who has nothing left to lose --unknown--
" If it bleeds we can kill it" Conan The Barbarian
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Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life



Roy

What this world needs is a few more Rednecks.

The Dildō Of Consequence Rarely Arrives Lubed





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"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
Thomas Jefferson

GeoW, The "Unwoke" ...Let's go Brandon!

"A Well Regulated Militia" Life Member

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Just because you me hard don't mean I'm going make love to you.



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Her left titty sits up high.

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~~~Yeah I knew that by and by,
We'd be seein' eye to eye,
Though the right one is sinkin' low,
Her left titty sits up high~~~

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