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John hoisted his beer mug and said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!"



That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the Street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, " John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.....!!!!"😜😜😜😜😜

A second cousin to that is the minister who was asked to speak to the young couples' group about sex. Somewhat embarrassed by the topic, he told his wife that he had been asked to speak on sailing. When his wife ran into one of the young wives at the grocery store in the days following the talk, the young woman exclaimed over the minister's talk and said that he must be quite experienced. To this, Mrs. the Reverend replied, "Well, that seems odd; he's only done it twice, and the first time he got sick and the second time his hat blew off.