Cen-tentacles, Perennials, Generation Why, Generation Hex and Baby Groomers
copyright 2016 - Stephen Redgwell

Hi folks. J. Suggs Biffy IV here, owner and publisher of the Stumpville Nugget. I got this letter in the mail today. I thought you might like to see it.

Dear Mr. Biffy,

I'm writin' your paper because of the rang-dang-doo over to the high school last Monday. I ain't seen a protest in years!

Them youngsters, the ones you newspaper people call 'Cen-tentacles', was demandin' a change to the school's curriculum. I seen their list over at the hardware store. It was posted on the board just above a pallet of cow manure. The location seemed appropriate.

They wanted a shorter school day - 3 hours. They wanted a shorter school week - 3 days. The kicker? They wanted to get paid to go!

At first, I thought it was a joke, until I seen the protesters. It got me angry. I couldn't go to school after grade six because my daddy died. Someone had to look after Ma and my two little sisters. They take for granted what I could never have! Thank goodness, stuff like that don't happen these daze.

I guess I got angervated the most when I read them protest signs. No more homework. Food and beverages in the classroom. They was demandin' free lunches, free Wi-Fi at home (for studyin' of course) and no teachers older than 40. They would be your "sorta young" people, the Generation Why or Perennials. I guess they figured they could connect better with that group. They seem to have a real hate on for the really old folks - the Generation Hex and Baby Groomers.

Thank goodness, the fire chief seen what was happenin' and had the water hoses turned on 'em. It ain't nice to get soaked down in December! They grumbled, but vowed to stand their ground. That was when 70-year-old Mr. Henderson, the owner of the hardware store and the local Internets hub, told 'em that if they didn't get back to school and get taught, he was turnin' off the world wide weird.

The look on their faces was priceless.

"How are we gonna text and tweet our protest photos?" cried Bob Wilson's geeky lookin' boy Noah.

"You ain't gonna..." Mr. Henderson told him.

"But I play online games with friends in Nerly Corners! You can't!" Marley Davidson, the mayor’s daughter, was in tears.

“It’s against the law to turn off our Internet! We’ll sue!” threatened two or three other kids.

“No, you ain’t gonna sue. I own the Internet in Stumpville and am the only provider. I’ll simply turn it off.”

Them soakin’ wet school kids was upset. Some was cryin’. Others was angry or at a loss for words. All of them looked lost.

“You hate us because we’re young!”
“You think we got no rights!”
“Why are older people always picking on us?”

Mr. Henderson just looked at them and said,

“You are a bunch of spoiled brats. Go back to school and learn about yourself, your rights and the rights of others before you start makin’ any demands! Learn about where your cellphone came from. Who writes all them fancy apps you love to use. Ponder on the tech you take for granted.

And your school? It ain’t yours. The whole community owns it. The taxpayers keep it runnin’. And thank your parents and neighbours. Workin’ folks that pay the bills, feed you and give you clothes to wear. The ones that keep the busses runnin’, keep the roads clear in winter, and buy the gifts you get for your birthday and at Christmas.

Schoolin’ ain’t a right. It’s a gift. It’s somethin’ that your folks and grandparents pay for to get you educated. You’ll grow up smarter and better off than your family. But that won’t happen if you spend your days whinin’ about stuff you don’t understand.

One last thing: Get into a group and I’ll take a pitcher of your protest. After that, get back to class!”

[Linked Image]

Them kids gathered into a gaggle and posed for a group shot. After, they started walkin’ back to the school. Some of ‘em was still grumblin’, but most would think on what happened, and realize how stupid they acted. And hopefully, become wiser because of the words of an old, hardware store owner with a Samsung Galaxy cellphone.

No cops was called. No guns was fired. No one was beaten. All that happened was they got wet and was scolded.

Kids have acted like that for thousands of years and probably will for thousands more. And like their folks, they’ll manage to live through their youth and grow up fine. They just need a little shove every now and then.

Your friend,

Nelford Beardsley,
RR3 Stumpville, ON


Safe Shooting!
Steve Redgwell
www.303british.com

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain
Member - Professional Outdoor Media Association of Canada
[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]