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An old gentleman was walking down a dirt road near his farm when he noticed a frog sitting by the road. He stopped to look at the frog and was startled when the frog spoke to him. The frog looked up at him and said, " hey if you pick me up and kiss me on the lips I will turn into a beautiful princess and grant you every wish and desire". The old gentleman thought for a minute and picked up the frog and put it in his coat pocket and continued down the road. Later the man ran into a friend who asked him what was new. He answered by telling him about the frog and the encounter earlier that day. His friend asked him if he kissed the frog. The old gentleman replied no, at my age I just rather have a talking frog.

Good one!
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Old one:
Elderly fellow headed down the street, professional lady asks him if he would like some super sex. He says that at his age, he'll take the soup.

Older one:
Elderly fellow out looking for a some action, walks up to a lady who had the product on display. He asks, "How much for a good time?" She replies, "Old timer, you've had it." He reaches for his wallet and says, "I have? How much do I owe you?"