As a teacher who's now taught 30 years I always made it a point when meeting the parents of the real "winners" type of kid (you know, the parent's of kid after kid - of the type - that every parent or teacher would envy) to ask them about their own child-rearing practices. I always questioned them about their own corporal punishment ideas. Simply put one of my questions was "Do you believe in spanking?" The huge majority of parents who raised more than one great child would answer - after some thought - words to the effect "Well, when they were really young - we did." Often followed up with words to the effect "That was a long time ago though."

That has paralleled my own parenting. Between about 2 and 5 was when almost all of my children's "spanks" occurred. Having said that - my spanks were probably only used a few times a year - per kid. After 6 or so - I think there are better tools. In my case, I define a judicious "spank" as a single or few quick bare-handed swats to the butt. Enough to get tears - nothing more. Invariably, my own children's swats - were followed by what I called a "de-briefing" (an earnest discussion) and a hug and a kiss after the tears had quit falling. This method worked great for me. It was a useful tool in this parent's tool-box. It set a tone - when it was needed.

If I had to raise my kids over again - I'd do it the same way. And so far,I am exceedingly proud of how my own kids are turning out.

In this day and age, I was surprised to read the following article. What do you all think about spanking?



Smacking leads to happier kids, according to a new US study. Ironically, it took this long to find enough people who hadn�t been smacked to do the study. Now, a US study says that smacking into adolescence actually helps.
Most parents resent the �no smacking� edicts from a supposedly too-PC professional lobby. The fact that there are obvious limits to smacking and physical discipline, at least for sane parents, never seems to get mentioned. The fact that the �no smacking� approach has done nothing to stem child bashings by the lunatic fringe hasn�t had a lot of traction, either.
The no-smack concept, ironically, came from an anti-violence perspective, but was effectively translated into a no-discipline motif by some flat footed over the top PC publicity a few decades back which managed to miss its own point very effectively.
The original idea of the no-smack regime was to reduce the sort of semi-psycho, overdone approach, which was actually dangerous. A smack on the bottom is harmless. A smack on the head can do real damage, particularly to a young child.
The oppressive hyper discipline of the past was no joke, as many will remember. Bruised and sore kids were no myth, and over-disciplined kids were famous for lying their heads off. Those who perceived their parents as actually hostile were definitely not considered to be well served by that sort of treatment. All they learned was to avoid discipline, and later, self-discipline. Most people did stop well short of that sort of actual abuse, and stuck to the traditional �don�t do that� form of smack, tapering off as the kids grew up.
The no-smack approach was generally distrusted, and resented as an intrusion when it began. The overall reaction was a groan of disbelief. It�s also a matter of opinion whether it�s really taken hold. �Reason with the child� is a mixed blessing, after the event, and some parents believe that a no-risk option for getting away with murder isn�t the right message to send to the average two year old.
Most people have seen the screaming, undisciplined brat who�s obviously not under any sort of control. That may not be typical of the no-smack ethos, and certainly not the intent, but they really are out of control. They�re a risk to themselves, and likely to do staggeringly stupid things, simply because they can.
The parents receive the flak. The stony disapproval of an entire mall is a thing to see, particularly from other parents, who can make their point without saying a word. That hasn�t done a lot to boost the image of the no-smack idea.
Nor has the level of actual violence been affected. The pitiful tales of kids who�ve been killed regularly haunt the news. One woman actually put her kid in an oven, and turned it on. It�s doubtful that the sage philosophical arguments actually penetrate situations like that. It�s unrealistic to assume they do, and the no-smack lobby has yet to address that issue.
Prof. Marjorie Gunnoe, of Calvin University, Grand Rapids, Michigan, did a study of 2600 people, including about 25% who�d never received physical chastisement. The press coverage of this is sparse, and it looks like there�s a paper in the works, which has reduced the output in the releases, but Prof. Gunnoe has stated that the data from her study simply doesn�t support the no-smack concept.
Her research states that children smacked up to the age of six were likely to do better, in fact, at school, and more likely to do volunteer work, want go to university, and other signs of higher participatory involvements.
Gunnoe isn�t saying smacking is an answer. She considers it a �dangerous tool�, which may indicate she started her research with more than a few reservations of her own. She also said that it�s not appropriate for all situations.
The demographics of this issue are pretty clear. The smacked generations don�t buy the no-smack approach. They generally seem to think it reduces parental options, and doesn�t do a lot for discipline. The no-smack side equates smacking with violence against children, and hasn�t made much distinction between a smack on the bottom and a funeral.
Whatever the outcome, there's another issue: Child psychology might want to look at providing clearer arguments for its cases. As a communications exercise, no-smack has been a classic case of the single message getting amplified into a sort of jihad against parental discipline. The arguments have been polarized, not productive. This has been a situation where unqualified, over simplified statements have been the default version of ideas for public consumption, and that�s helped create an almost purely reactive environment for the concept. Some things should never be dumbed down, and raising kids is definitely the best place to start.

Yep and I don't think about it. I have a 10 year old son and I can honestly say before anyone (including God) that he has never given me a reason to spank him. Kid was an angel from day 1. I've rarely had to even raise my voice. I can think of 2 times where I had to do so.

Yes.
Not much.

BCBrian,



Absolutely, positively, totally, and emphatically disagee. Hands are used for blessing, praising carasing, soothing, congradulating, etc., etc. That may not be stated strongly enough!

The coorrect use is a wide paddle which makes a loud pop and may sting, but not produce an injury like a hand can. Spanking is NOT used for punishment. It is used for discipline. The foolishness of, "You can't go to the show because you were bad," is plain old punishment and may not lead to discipline. You discipline and immediately go to the show if that was the plan.

daily, but desired it, and im all for it.

Yes I was, but rarely and I deserved it.
Same with my kid.
You don't have to do it often, they learn quickly.

My brother and his wife have NEVER spanked their kids and have raised them the modern way.
"We don't spank our kids, we reason with them."
WAFJ.
Those kids are the most out of control Hellions I've seen in my life.
Everyone who comes in contact with them feels the same way.
TIME OUTS, that is the punishment they get for even the most deliberate transgressions.

Like Jeff Foxworthy says..
"When I was a kid, I used to get timeouts".
I needed them so my ass could cool off"

They also home school them.
The kid really don't interact well with others.
With all the problems public schools have, they do teach socialization very well.

The 'look' from my old man was all it took(takes).

My mom was way too nice to ever smack.

I've got three boys, 7, 5, and 3 (we don't have cable...).

We spank when they need it. But even with the youngest we rarely need to now. We don't threaten, we don't count to three, we just tell 'em what to do and expect them to do it.

We have random strangers approach us in stores and ask what we do to have such happy, well behaved children. Our standard answer is that we spank them.

Yes..but again rarely.

The deal was that it was done the first time there was an infraction...that way you knew the possibility was real...unlike the hollow threats I see parents make, which kids of course ignore..

Yep, I got my butt beat..and I turned out OK....

( All right...I'm sure THAT statement is open to examination and conjecture... )

Ingwe

Shoot, if I didn't get spanked on a daily basis, I thought something was wrong.

My mom was an EOS -Equal Opportunity Spanker-. If she could swing it, it was fair game.

There are times I look back and wonder if sometimes it was a bit to much but then again..I have never set another kid on fire or any of the other foolishness you hear about today.

That there would be the "hard to find" piece to the puzzle.

Wasnt too hard to find in our case, cause spankings were reserved for special events you couldnt miss..
i.e. both my sister and I got one the first ( and only ) time we tried to bite one of our parents....


The lesson took.....


Ingwe

I smacked our little dog once, pretty good swat right across his backside.

He hasn't pissed on the floor since....(grin)


Couldn't imagine raising a kid, not ready for that yet.

Kids and dogs want and need discipline, though they don't always know it.

I'm glad my dad whacked my behind a couple of times.

I got whampped a lot well into 8th grade. Not so much when I was a teen. I whampped back.

My dad used to thump us in church so as not to draw attention to whatever we were doing.

One time when I thumped my oldest in church he turned around with fire in his eyes, pointed at me and whispered, "Do NOT thlump me!"

So I didn't. I made an immediate weapon trasition from my thumping finger to spanking hand...I'm happy to oblidge.

My Mom handled the discipline. Got some good whacks growing up. I'm a firm believer in physical attitude adjustments.

I think it's beneficial during the first few years of marriage also. Had a pard that had to go out of town for 5 weeks and he asked me to go to his house once a week and smack his wife for him....

I got smacked around more that I deserved, but I did deserve some, and what I did deserve kept me from deserving more.

I wasn't an easy keep as a kid, switches by grandma, yardstick by mom, belt by dad.

dad spanked me the fewest times of the 3, but his were most memorable.

guess he lost his temper with me once when I was 2 years old and I wouldn't drink my milk nor cry when he whupped me. I don't remember a thing about it, but my sis will still bring it up on occassion, said she was silently cheering me on at first but as the beating got worse she became afraid for me and was wishing I would cry so he'd quit. Guess he finally tuckered out.

got spanked in school too. probably about a dozen times in the eighth grade with a big ole wooden paddle.

looking back I'm thankful folks cared enough to try and whail some sense into me, though at the time it was happening I wasn't much of a fan of a licking. Never would cry when a teacher spanked me either, but did bit my lip fairly hard when ole Mr. Schroeder thought he'd cure me of playing the tough guy. That rednecked ole bastid was the kind, I was lucky to have him for a principal.

I wasn't an easy kid and neither is/was my first one, a girl for cripes sake! The boys I could count on one hand the number of times I've spanked the both of them, all I have to do is lower my voice and it's been good enough.

don't believe either one of them doubts I'd knock teeth outa their head if they disrespected their momma, but don't worry about it, they love her.

the daughter, I'd rather do time than raise another one like that!

I graduated from spanking, to a belt, to a thin (but tough) dowel. Yeah, I was a slow learner!

I deserved every smack, whack, and thwap that I received and I'm better for it. OTOH, I don't remember my older brother ever getting spanked, etc. THE LOOK from my mom or dad was enough to put him in line.

My boy has been spanked and probably will be again. I don't often have to as he, thankfully, IS a quick learner. He's also a sneaky bastid and plots when I'm away at work .

George

I got plenty of them and so did my kids. The Bible says if you don't spank them, you hate them. What else do we need to know about the subject.

My Dad used to tell me, "I like paddling your butt so give me a good reason". That's what he said, in reality I probably didn't even get one a year -- I knew (or at least thought) that he meant it. And I remember from the times that he carried it through, that I didn't ever want another one. I deserved each and every one and did manage to talk my way out of a few. (In fact, I know that I deserved maybe 5 times more at least, but I didn't get caught for everything). If he told me to go to the tack room and get him a quirt, I knew I was in for it even worse if I didn't.

A few of the things I remember getting wailed on for;

I snuck out five boxes of 30-06 cartridges one time, pulled the bullets with pliers and made cool sparkler fireworks out of the powder piles. I left squashed shells laying around the vice for evidence too.

I was swinging an Aussie, playing rag, with an old gunnysack. I got to swinging in circles so fast that ol' Bang was airborn in a centrifugal circle, like I had been told not to do to him before, and he let go and sailed through a big picture window into the house with a shower of broken glass right where my dad was sitting in the living room.

I tried to make a canon out of gasoline, diesel, rags, a 6" pipe, and some buckets, and some rocks -- I thought the best place to do this was right behind the shed where we stored all the flammables, I didn't have to carry stuff far that way. The garden hose didn't spray enough water to dent the ensuing fire, and the shed burnt down.

There was a time when I was about 12, I had a Willy's jeep that was never supposed to leave the ranch, but I backed into a nice new truck in town, 45 miles away.

There are probably 4 or 5 others, just as naughty, but you should get the idea.

My father died early 1960's when I was 4, brother was 6. Mom had her hands full, and had no problem disciplining. We usually deserved it, and had a great deal of respect for the wooden spoon. I remember her driving down the road in the old Pontiac station wagon; she could stop two boys horsin' around in the back seat with one hand on the wheel and the other takin a swipe through the air with that spoon. The gesture alone usually stopped whatever that was going on.
The 'timeout' system used by these pansy azzes today is a joke. The kids have no respect for it, and the ones I've seen raised on that system alone are totally out of control and do not listen one bit to their parents.

My father beat me a couple of times a week into my teenage years, he was good at it too. Then he gave up the booze, and the beatings stopped, well, the physical ones anyways. He must of loved me more than anyone....

Lynn

yes, but not near as often as I probly should have. there was a certane order we would have to sit in Church just so I was at arms lenght.

In the early 80's - as a young Phys.Ed. teacher - I occasionally had some high-school kids who would swear on the playing field when things didn't go the way they wanted to.

I always gave them three "choices".

They could stay in at lunch - and write out 100 times "Profanity is a crutch for conversational cripples" - before leaving the detention room.

Or...

They could run a mile around the school field - while the rest of the class kept playing.

Or...

They could bend over - touch their toes - and take one on the backside from "Big Blue" - my running shoe.

If they chose the latter (it was the macho thing to do) I reminded them - that while corporal punishment was technically illegal in BC at that time - that in this case it would be OK - because the ASKED for it...

Those were the days...

Grown men to this day come up and remind me from time to time about how they liked the way I did things...

I was a difficult child sometimes so I needed it.. Didn't feel that way at the time..

Check out this Canadian comic's opinion on child-rearing - and spanking.

I promise you - it's worth watching!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI

Got smacked around 'till 13yrs old, when father died. I was the street bully as well. I never smacked any of my own, chosing reason and sanction over abuse. I am not a bully now or have been in a very long time. there are better ways to get your point accross.

I was probably paddled at least every other day, and can honestly say, I deserved pretty much every one I ever got. For some reason I find myself attracted to women in leather's and boot's now though, could be a side effect.

Yeah. Me too. But my dad was stone sober. I turned out okay, but it was in spite of the beatings.

Swore I wouldn't with my kid and pretty much did. Spanked him twice. Once when he ran out in the road and I wanted to make an impression on him.

Another when he was biting other kids. Told him I'd spank him if he did it again. Regretted telling him that but had to follow through when he did it again. He never bit anyone again, but I felt pretty bad about it.

I got my share but it was nothing excessive, and, I deserved it. It was always my dad and he used a fraternity paddle that he had from his college days. In short order my brother and I graduated to "the look"....that was pretty much all we needed as we knew the consequences.

Looking back on it.....My parents disciplined me appropriately. Gave me a break when I'd earned one and whooped my AZZ when I needed it. Evaluating myself, I've probably been a little too easy on mine, but they are 20 and 18 now and really good kids (young adults). Divorced from my ex when they were really young and guilt about that made it hard to be very tough on them. I wish my kids had the chance to grow up with mom and dad in the same home.

I was. I needed it. It worked.

He beat me drunk or sober, but stopped after the drinking. Emotional and mental crap kept up though. Left home at 18 and swore I would never do to my kids what was done to me. Spanking happened, very rare, but never a beating.

Lynn

Yes, I received corporal punishment growing up. I teach school, now their are no consqences at school or home. I have asked the parents of the trouble makers, and they usually always say no they would never spank their child...I shake my head and know that is why junior will probably get raped in prison

Got it, and it was well deserved at times.

BIG difference between a kid getting a whack now and then to discipline vice being abused by an alcoholic or non-alcoholic parent.

Yes, I was spanked as a child. I usually deserved it and was told why I deserved it and how to avoid getting spanked in the future. My parents never got angry when disciplining me. I was never beaten. There's a difference. This taught me self discipline that has worked well for me for 60 years.

While raising my two children, I preferred to avoid corporal punishment (there are other ways to discipline children and teach them where the limits are) except in extreme situations and then I employed the same kind of restrained corporal punishment combined with education that my parents used. I'm very proud of the way that my children have turned out. I hope that the training they got from me had something to do with it.

My daughter has given me two grand-children and she and my SIL seem to be employing the same strategy with positive results.

KC

That people can't tell the difference between the two says a lot about them.

I was never physically abused by my parents, but rather verbally. Everytime I was hit I deserved it. I don't look back and wish I wasn't hit. I don't consider it abuse because it taught me lessons and the verbal abuse taught me how NOT to treat my son. My only regret is that I wish I didn't allow myself to believe I was stupid like my parents said I was. I got over it, but it wasn't until I was a teenager.

Dude gotta ask.WTF is with those diaper pics.

You shoulda just took their word on it!

"OK, Go pick a switch." That's what my mother and Grandma used to say. Richard Pryer used to have a funny in his act about the switch. He said that he pick a switch and say that he wouldn't do it anymore. Then he would throw his elbow in the air and run and jump in circles quoting his Grandma saying, "you bet your sweet little black a$$ you won't do it anymore". It make the calves of my legs sting just to think about it.

Your parents were right.

Remember Bill Cosby and - "all children have brain damage"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyMSc97UksM

That's mean....

Was I spanked as a child? Yes and my brother and I are not anywhere the worse for wear because of it. Did we deserve the it the spanking I mean. Yep, I can honestly say we did.

Did I spank my three kids? Yes, but with an open hand and yes it was a great motivator not to do it again and yes they grew up to be find additions to Society, none of them had any behavior issues that required law enforcement intervention.

A Few years ago I had a discussion with one of our local county jailers on the subject and he related to me that in his profession he got to know a lot of inmates at his facility and that he could definitely tell who among them were spanked or Spocked as young ones.

It's called incontinence.

Maybe so, but MiddleFork Miner was still right!

The few I got that I DIDN'T deserve did not nearly make up for the ones I DIDN'T get that I DID deserve. (If that makes any sense.)

Yes, rarely but memorably, and I usually deserved it. With my own kids we used a small rod of some sort like a wooden spoon etc. and I learned one thing that would have improved the spankings I got as a child: don't discipline in anger. My Dad had to be furious before he would spank me.

With my own kids I did it with disappointment and grief that it needed doing and let the kid know that. Didn't have to spank very many times all together. My wife is asked sometimes to teach on raising kids and one of her counsels is to teach your child that no means no in any tone of voice. It can be done, though some parents don't believe that.

Outcomes are hard to measure. I have a master's degree, one long marriage, work that I enjoy, and have travelled widely --- all of which could be said by some psychopaths I'm sure.

Our three children have all graduated from college, one with a master's degree. All are responsible adults with good jobs who are raising well behaved children, and all three spank them. I dispaired with our oldest grandson who was the most strong willed rebellious little tot I've ever heard of, but his parent kept at the consistent spankings. He's now a remarkably mature responsibile fun loving 12 year old.

It seems to be working.

As others have said, there is a vast difference between child abuse and physically painful discipline.

One story: when our youngest started college, he had to take some kind of freshman orientation to life. By that time he had crewed on commercial fishing boats in the Arctic, tree planting crews in northern Canada, a construction crew plus had played state championship level football. The subject of teenage rebellion came up in the frosh class and he was the only one in the room who had not rebelled to some extent. Everybody in the room turned to him and asked why he had not rebelled.

"My mother wouldn't let me," was his reply.

BC- I was. All 9 of my siblings were. My sons were.

So far, only two of us have spent a night (that's all) in jail. Mine was voluntary - I was passing through Pendleton, the bus station closed, and I was walking the streets until it reopened for my ride out, when the cops offered me a bed. Hell, they even left the door open..... good deal for both of us.

My son's was pure space case... long story... traffic related.... (them judges have no sense of humor when you fail to show up, even after paying the fine and thinking the matter was settled!)

Some years ago I was in a college class with a Liberal instructor, adamantly against corporal punishment. She made the case that virtually all criminal prisoners had been "abused" by corporal punishment.

Me, not being too smart, asked the class (all adults in their 30's or later), going for education credits, how many had been spanked in their youth. Every hand went up. Then I asked how many had ever spent a night in jail. Only my hand went up.

I didn't explain- figuring that was worth points!

I guess, for the most part anyway, I was a pretty good kid. I can only remember getting physically punished for my actions once, and that was with a switch. Yeah, I deserved it. My brother, on the other hand, was much more defiant than I was.

We had no problem doling out a spanking or two with our kids. I actually only remember spanking our daughter once. Our son was much like me as a youngster, he was more afraid to disappoint us than do something to get a spanking - I don't remember ever spanking him. All I had to do was look at our son and we "counted" at our daughter. They seem to have turned out OK albeit "progressive" - don't know where we went wrong.

As several have said, there is a huge difference between abuse and a corrective spanking. And it is different for each child and parent. But the parent needs to know where the line is.

When I was a kid, we had 'the Belt'. I don;t remember many occasions, but I deserved them all. My kids go the hand until they were 5 or 6 and by that time it was unneeded. Spanking were reserved for stuff that could have resulted in serious harm or the like, like when my son lit a fire in his bedroom wastebasket.

Furprick,


By not disciplineing your children with the proven method, you are abuseing them.

Only those without the mental capacity to raise a child beat them.

I was spanked, mostly by mom. Wooden spoon when I was really asking for it. Dad usually got me by the back of my neck with a thumb and middle finger (the "Spock" as someone put it) so as to have my complete attention when he decided a correction was necessary. I deserved more of them than I got.

Daughter is just one now, if she earns a spanking I suspect she'll get it from either of us.

Spanking aren't beating. My enormous mental capacity says so.

About ten years ago, I was hunting with the son of a good friend. Let's call the son Bob. I have known the father for a couple of decades. He has strong traditional values and he's a stern disciplinarian. The family is close and they love each other. At the time, Bob was in his thirties and had a couple of small children. One day Bob asked me if I spanked my children. He said that he was reluctant to spank his children because of all the negative attention that was associated with spanking today. We had the following discussion.

I said "Did your dad spank you?"

Bob said "You bet. He used to whip my ass."

I asked "Did you deserve it?" Bob responded "Yeah."

I asked "Do you love your dad?"

End of discussion.

KC

That is what abusive parents say. "It was just a spanking"

My parents would be arrested and locked up in today's world.

They were best parents a kid could ever have though. The best.

You got it! Mine too.

Too much Dr. Spock and too little positive reinforcement of good behaviour and denunciation of bad has put our countries where there are today. Bet ya Obama never got his butt slapped -- bet ya Reagan and Bush did.

Mom spanked me a lot and I deserved them all. Dad never whipped me, I was too afraid of him to do anything to make him whip me.

Had my ass tanned a fair share in my early days. Giving my bro' Mike snail poison, telling him they were raisins, and putting a 5 foot milk snake in my mom's washing machine are two distinct memories of whoopins that I can quickly recall.

I've never, not once, ever laid a hand on my children other than
showing affection. It sickens me to watch young kids flinch out of fear.

my mom and "Mr. Dewars" used to beat the everloving daylights out of me for the smallest of infractions,my sisters fared a little better.
I give my kids a shot in the pants if they get wayyy out of line,I could never bring myself to using a leather belt on them like I got.

Where did you come up with that heresy? A rod, man, the Book says a rod!

I always preach...."spank your child when needed or they'll turn into a Democrat".

Got paddlings from Mom all the time. Didn't mean much but did get my attention.

Dad's belt while seldom used made a much greater and lasting impression.

Last time he ever whipped me I was fourteen years old and lied to him. He told me to seek out a certain cow, catch and doctor her calf. I was sent out alone to do so while he rode another pasture.

I couldn't find the old slut and gave up and came home.

He asked me if I had done what I was sent to do and I, like a fool, said yes.

He pulled his catch rope off his saddle and proceeded to wear my butt out with a double of it. One of them old heavy linen catch ropes that he favored.

He'd made a circle and found the calf and doctored it himself before he came in.

Wife and I raised two good boys now married with families of their own.

We both spanked them when their attention needed to be gained and held.

All kids have to learn that actions have consequences and sometimes bad actions have painfull consequences.

BCR

Well, since you laid out such a convincing argument...consider me reformed.

I got spanked on a regular basis. I tried to be good, just couldn't.

I never spanked my son. Didn't have too as he was a pretty good chap.

I know some kids (nieces and nephews) that need a spanking in the worst kind of way.

And their parents need one as well.



JM.

Geez..I was raised by a Dad(Army MP) that believed in it to separate the good and bad...it worked! Needs to be more of it....properly done and not in public.
I'm in and out of a lot of retail stores and it's unbelievable the things I see.It's like the parents are taking a little time off and turn them loose.....

Yep! and it never damaged my inerchild either.

...in my 27 years as a cop, these are the kids that at thirty, or forty, decide to experiment with cocaine or meth, molest children and commit suicide.

GMAFB.

Does anyone else find it interesting that since spanking became politically incorrect, the rate of crime has soared? I wonder how many people would have never turned to crime of they had received a little discipline as children?

Children are not miniature adults. They don't reason. They have to be trained to behave, and a moderate amount of discomfort is a very effective method. I'd rather give a child a few paddlings when they are very young, than watch them go off to prison when they are 18.

And no one is going to convince me that judiciously applied corporal punishment is the same as 'a beating'.

I come from a small town outside San Antonio.I went from the 1st grade to the 12th grade with the same kids.If we would act up at another friends house my parents had given them permission to spank us and then we would get another spanking when we got home.Our school teachers had permission to spank us also.
I don't see anything wrong with it at all.It made us stop and think about what we were about to do,is it worth the ass whupping you know your going to get.I changed my mind most of the time because it wasn't worth it.
DAD and MOM have both passed on,I STILL MISS THEM GREATLY AND LOVE THEM MORE THAN EVER.Skeeter

The principle in my grade school had my mom on speed dial.

I am a big guy and once I got two big for my mom tp spank me.......I'd just laugh the whole time......she took to using whatever she could find...wooden spoons over the head, brooms etc.

Can you tell the difference between a dime and a dollar?

I got whacked when I got too mouthy - it was always mom. That stopped when I got taller than her. My mom is the BEST. I love her. I hope I turn out to be half as good a parent as she was.

And time outs are for puzzy liberals.

That's funny. I used to jokingly tell my wife that we were limited to having "only" 8 children because that's all the 2 of us would be able to reach & effectively smack in church.

I don't know what is so different about where you live - but around here, I regularly run into the many of the now grown kids that I taught way back when.

Guess what?

The ones often labelled as "winners" back then, for the most part, are still the people, that society in general, would tend to consider the "winners" now.

The ones often referred to as "loosers" back then, are predominantly - still the people most of society would consider to be the "loosers" now.

I think it's safer and more prudent course of action for a parent to try and raise children, who act in such a manner, that upon most people meeting them, would be admired - rather than what you seem to be suggesting.

Your observations are opposite to mine. I don't doubt you a bit, but am curious as to the differences between our observations. Probably it has to do with what we mean by kids who are "winners" etc.

Hmm.. On further thought I have seen some kids who lived by the rules of another person; parents, church, etc. and a significant number of them jump the track when they leave the nest, often in their 20's. However, most of them showed a veneer of winsome respectability as an older kid, too brittle and even judgemental about rules. They did not own their own values and it showed. They didn't have a relaxed hold on their standards, even when wrestling with them and failing themselves and everybody else at times. I was not including those surface performers in my winner kids, though they look good on the outside. I would think most classroom teachers would read those kids accurately also.

My guess, is that ltppowell is misinterpreting your term 'winner' as 'privileged'.

As the natural tendency is for teachers to end up meeting the 'loser' kids parents, I'm curious what motivated you to make a point of meeting the parents of the good kids, and what you learned from that?

got my arse whooped a few times.....deserved every one and didnt take me long to figure out how to avoid them was quite simple really, quit doing chit dad told me not to do....dont know when the last one was, know we moved to the new house when i was 10 and dont remember him laying a finger on me at the new house so im pretty sure my last spanking was when i was younger than 10....course you also got to figure even when i was 17 my dad coulda whooped my arse so common seance tended to prevail on the major chit......

on the minor stuff, well dad figured the physical beatings we caused our selves when curing boredom did his work for him......doing 60mph in a plastic sled, being towed by a pickup, down a stubble field tends to give you its own beating if you fall out of the sled....couldnt lift anything heavier than a pop can with my right arm for most of a month....

as for the girls.....havent spanked them in years.....at this point, confiscating their cell phone for a week tends to have better effects than a spanking....they do get popped up side the head with an open palm and a flick of the wrist atleast once a week though to snap them out of doing stupid chit around the house....

I got spanked when needed & deserved.

I would have no problem at all spanking my son if needed.... however, my son has a very tender heart and wants to please... I can make him cry by just scolding (telling him I do not like what he is doing and he needs to straighten up)so at this point I do not necessary with my child.

However, we do have friends who need to spank....

I got spanked almost daily sometimes I deserved it sometimes I didn't, but I am none the worse for it now.

My dad used to tell us he should have spanked us in the morning for what we were going to do the rest of the day that way it would be over and done with.

I am not against it now but don't look to it as the first course of disipline.

I was, and "it depends."

In my experience, spanking has to be in the arsenal but like nukes it should seldom be used.

What you should NEVER do is throw a parental temper tantrum, beat your kid, then pretend it is "discipline" ... that they somehow earned the beating. That's what my sisters and I experienced as kids from our father. He used to do the same thing to our mom .. that should say something and it ain't good. We never knew what we were being blamed for, who did it, when, etc, we'd just find ourselves lined up bare-assed for a whipping with his leather belt or later, we'd be sent out to cut a switch off the tree by the house that we were going to get whipped with.

Don't every try disciplining your kids until you have your own temper under control.

I whopped my daughter once. Demonstrated that I was serious, if I said it I'd do it. End of her testing limits. My ex never did spank, not with our daughter, not with the one from her 2nd marriage, and both girls are as nice to be around as you can imagine.

As I said, spanking has to remain in the arsenal. At the same time, needing to use it should be considered a parenting failure. Y' only get there if you failed in parenting earlier and are having to take corrective action to get someone back on course ... and y' better not count on it working.

Tom

Got my butt busted when I needed it and that was not often after the first couple of times! Did the same with my kids and they seem to be well adjusted, productive adults now that have been know to "apply" some "psychology" when appropriate to their kids bottoms.

Seems to work well in our world.

The wages of sin is a good spanking. I got paid.

Never was much for it. I got it a lot,....my kids hardly ever. They seem to be doing okay.

TOM said it best.

Paul

Hell yes I was spanked! Earned every one of them. Conversely, I can think of only 2-3 times I've done it raising 4 rambunctious boys. Mainly for emphasizing my point when they were doing something dangerous and one case where one was extremely disrespectful to their mother. I still beleive that this is a parent's choice and right. Here in CA, they ask kids everywhere they go if their parents whack 'em, etc. Bunch of bullshit!

What T O M said about the need for spanking is a sign of an earlier parental failure is spot on. Using it as catharsis for one's own temper tantrums is a sign of parental immaturity.

HA!---I would get whacks from my Mom and then again when my Dad got home. In some cases the whacks would start at my Grandmothers house with a hickory switch. AND I likely deserved every single one of them. In fact, I know I did.

I am absolutely not suggesting that parents should raise there children to be any less than the best. It is my observation that kids, especially boys, that have no "spirit" as youths tend to sew their wild oats as adults. Maybe it is your suggestion that the "winner" kids don't need discipline to become "winner" adults that I find laughable. Of course, some of these "winner" kids just continue a ho-hum adult life of coloring inside the lines.

I agree with your assessment of "spiritless" kids Pat.

But I guess we just interpreted his statement differently. When I think of a "winner" kid, I think that a strong spirit is necessarily present.

I've got three very strong willed boys. "High-spirited" would be an understatement. I just try to steer that strong willed spirit in the right direction.

I worked hard for every whuppin I got.My folks got thier bluff in early.

The parents who tend to come to post-report card parent-teacher meetings are rarely the ones that we, as teachers, would most like to talk to.

So we tend to talk to the people who show up.

As in life, showing up is a major part of success.

Sometime compare a kid who got a few spankings to one that got "time outs". I'm referring to spankings,not beatings.
When I got the few that I did get, I was sent to the basement,told to grip the steel pole suportinga beam and not letgo until it was done.
Did my boy the same way,except I told him to go to the barn and get a paddle on the way .I let him soak a little bit before I went out. KIds need to learn that ther are repercussions for thier actions.Both good and bad.

I swear to God,I neve hit a woman,but firmly believe if a lot of them got a smack in the mouth for what they said, they would be a hell of a lot more thoughtful before they opened thier mouth and started bitching ,etc. I know the few times when I got a splt lip for mouthing off,I learned to think a littel bit before I spoke.

i was spanked even punched i earned it maybe not all of it but i got away with others i can't complain.A person that don't spank their kids at early ages normally don't have any control later

When I said "winner" type of kid - I also made clear I was referring to kids where one after the other (from one family) were the type of kid that "everyone would envy". Many (most?) of them are spirited, sometimes even challenging kids - but the fact remains some families just seem to have kid, after kid, after kid, that are all the same kind of kid - that kind of kid - that everyone would hope to have.

I NEVER suggested that these (winner) type of kids didn't need discipline to become that type of (winner) adults.

In fact - the point I was trying to make - was the opposite.

Based on my questioning the parents of the finest, nicest, greatest type of kids that I've ever had the pleasure of teaching - I noticed that the parents of one of those type of kids - often had a whole family of them. I assumed that they were probably doing something right - in the way they were raising their children.

Most of the children (actually "young adults" - as I teach in a high-school) that were the type everyone admired, most of the ones that I've known - were spanked - and needed to be spanked - as children. The spanking (in part) have played a small role, among many other complex reasons that caused such students to turn out, the way that did. I firmly believe that being a poor parent, is a much much easier role for a parent - than being a good one.

It's far easier to ignore bad behaviours - than it is to effectively deal with them.

Yes I got spanked. If a teacher spanked me they sent a note home and I got it again. So much for no double jeopardy. What did I think? Don't go for seconds!

Last thing the professor said when I was taking Ed Psychology was "There isn't the kid born that doesn't need to be accross his dads knee occasionally."
From what I have seen he is definatly right.

BCBrian... good thread, and good comments.

I was spanked as a young kid (and one last time when I was 16 and "dared" my Mom to whack me with her wooden spoon, thinking I could save face in front of my younger siblings... needless to say I did not win that confrontation...). I was spanked when I deserved it, mostly, although a couple of injustices did occur here and there.

When my kids were small, they got spanked a bit, but only for deliberate transgressions. We'd talk the situation over, they'd admit they knew what they were doing was bad when they did it, and then they'd get a couple taps on the bottom. Tears would follow, of course, then hugs and reconciliation. Very sound training, really.

None of my kids got a spanking after age 4 or 5. However, on one occasion my 14-year-old son had really crossed the line, and I told him he was either going to have to take a real spanking, or allow his face to be smeared with peanut butter and allow the dogs to lick it off. He chose the peanut-butter, and to this day (he turns 29 next week) says that the peanut-butter punishment was the thing that made him turn away from the bad choices he'd been making. All I can remember now is the rest of the family laughing our butts off as the dogs swarmed him on the kitchen floor.

Several peanut-butter warnings were issued to him and his sisters thereafter, but NONE was ever required. Just goes to show that public punishment has a positive effect on the behavior of the general population.

Then you spanked yourself........

The comments about is intersting and one I've often pondered. Some families seem to generate a whole pack of well disciplined, high achieving, workaholics. Others paint both ends of the spectrum. I really wish I knew the secret to the former.

I could not agree more. It is my opinion however, that "parenting skills" receive to much credit for the charactor of children, good or bad, when genetics plays a huge part.

Heck yea, The teachers still spanked when I was in first to third grade, then they stopped, so my Dad went to school when he heard the teachers wernt allowed to any more told the teacher that if I needed one and she could n't for anmy reason to let him know and he would take off work if needed and come down to administer it himself, and if that wasn't Ok to let him know and he would make sure I got it when he got home. I got lots of them at school and at home. After I grew up and got into Law Enforcement I got all sorts of education on Child Abuse, I still feel that to not administer corporal punishment on a child is just opening the door to Adult Abuse. I had to deal with a lot of unruly kids you got to be able to tell who had got a butt warming and who had not, usually the ones who got spanked as preadolesents I did not have much contact with and if I did it was very minor stuff, you could tell them from the others, they were polite and knew they had screwed the pooch, the others were just stupid loud mouthed punks who baddly needed an ass whoopin.And usually ended up doing hard time and getting worse, and worse. Commiting major crimes like Rape, Robbery, and Murder

Hell, I was 7 years old before I realized my name wasn't 'Take out the garbage'

I think I spent most of my life up to about the age of 15 with the pattern of the plastic soles of my mothers slippers embosed on my legs or arms....It got to the stage where she couldn't hit me physically hard enough as I would still be laughing...

I never laughed at my father though, as that would release some serious "whoop-ass"...

On the whole, I probably deserved most of it, and what I didn't deserve made up for the stuff I got away with...

Spanked? Nah.

Spanked? You bet, Dad knew how to get to the "seat" of the problem .Apparently I was a slower learner than the other 4 kids. Mom warmed up the paddle pleanty too.
I earned each one, and got less than I deserved. It only took one from the principal for things to change at school though.

My boys only needed a hard look, are they my sons?

An old buddy said his dad spanked him regularly,his dad said,
"I don't know what they did, but they do."

I got whipped plenty! Sometimes I deserved it, sometimes I didn't but my brothers said I did so I got it anyway. I don't hold it against my dad at all, I know he was doing what he thought best, as he tried to wait till he wasn't angry before administering said whipping. However, once he decided it was time, he knew how to throw down. His weapon of choice was the old v-belt or fan belt. When I was younger he used a thick leather belt, then a nice long rubber hose(that bastard hurt so bad me and my brothers confiscated it and made sure it was never found), but in later years the fan belt was king.
I don't know if it made me a better person in the long run,it probably helped a bit, but I'll tell you what, we were danged well behaved kids! My parents were both raised Mennonite(not Amish), and Mennonite's are great believers in the power of spanking to cure just about anything. I know that my Dad was much more lenient than other german mennonite families I knew, and also much stricter than others, especially those godless heathens the "english".
When I started going to school I was amazed at the "english" kids(that's what we called all non germans). They got grounded! I'd never heard of such a thing, and thought it was stupid. Whose afraid of a grounding I figured? Of course, if these kids dads had whipped them teh way I got whipped, they'd of called Childrens Aid. I never even knew such a thing existed, and if I had I'd never have called it. Imagine how hard I'd of got whipped after calling Childrens Aid!

When I was a kid in the '40s, my mom and dad had three boys and the next door neighbors also had three boys about the same ages. Their dad had, I kid you not, a genuine leather cat-nine-tails that he used on them. That sucker had to have hurt. My dad used a belt and that was bad enough.

Paul

The worst was taking a smack your Brother earned. Sometimes Mom didn't wait to sort the details. grin

I can count on one hand all the times I had to spank my 4 kids. Our kids are well behaved and we routinely get compliments from strangers when we're out and about.

I just love it when a mom calls 911 and complains she can't get her worthless turd kid out of bed for school.

Yes, from the parents and usually with dad's leather belt up until about age 14.
Also:
Our school district paddled kids up through middle school grade 8.
High school they treated you more adult and there was after school detention instead.
I'm talking the 1970's.

Also:
In those days Gideans International also presented us with our own King James Bible at our public school. 1975.

I was spanked, whipped with my Dad's leather strop, and had my mouth stuffed with every brand of soap you could think of (Ivory is not bad, Irish Spring will make you vomit). I was also sent outside many a time to cut off a switch which was used to whip my butt. I can still see my Uncle Angelo whipping me across the lawn or my Uncle Dom beating me with the rake. They were rough. I would never hit a kid the way I got beat on. No holding a bar of soap in the mouth for an hour either. Nothing more than an open hand, and never in the face. I'd take stuff away from a kid today rather than strike them.

Coincidentally, I got big enough to confront my Uncles and I did. I never confronted my Mom. She worked hard and I knew it.

I don't know how many times I got the choice by the school principal, "Would you prefer a swatting or detention?"

I always took the swats, I'll tell you what, if I got in detention, that meant usually, hopefully, my mom and not my dad, had too drive 45 miles of dirt road to town to get me an hour after school, after the buses left, and then I had listen to her all the way home where I would end up getting more, and stiffer, swats than the principal ever dished out from my dad.

The only one of those school whacks that ever got through I think, was one time when about four of us boys were standing in line to get a swat. I went first, and after the application of the punishment to my bottom side, I asked the principal smirkingly, to see if my friends would laugh, "You wanna try that again, I think you might of almost missed or something"! I think the second one raised blisters and made my eyes water, but I was famous for a while.

I sure hope you're right Pat. My kids couldn't ask for better genes...

HA!!!!! AGAIN! There were 4 of us and no way we would rat out the other so often we all 4 got it! Pizzed my folks off even more that we would not rat one another out. They have actually apologized for that.

What I really want to know, is how many of you guys ever tried the several pages of notebook paper in your britches, just enough to go unnoticed, butt shield? I'll tell you what, if you haven't, it's not much help!

Sure did, didn't get near as many as I needed. I was just really good at sneaking and not getting caught. Dad and I laugh about it now. Got my last one the first day of my senior year in high school. Mom had woke me up to get up. I rolled over and went back to sleep. The next thing I know my AZZ is on fire and my head hurts from bouncing off the head board of the bed when I jerked. and there stands dad smiling, he said "get up son" Yes Sir! That was the last time he fired me up. One swat with a good switch was good for the entire year. We have laughed about that one a lot.

Have one daughter, and I spanked here when she was little a couple of times. I just never could get used to spanking her. Turned out to be a holy terror during her teen years. She went in to the military and that sorted her out. That is a story in it's self. We laugh about it now, and she is raising my two grandsons and doing a good job.

PaPa260

Thirteen pages of testimony to the power of a parent's right to bring it when needs be... God bless all the old schoolers!

Yes, I was spanked, not many times after I was seven or eight though.

The last time I was twelve.

Mom would get mad an whip me when she was angry. Dad wouldn't and spanked me maybe One time in a thousand I had it coming.

Mine are batting .500!

A friend of mine is a child psychologist and a counselor. He's well-respected by all - a great guy. I asked him for his opinion about this once and he said, "Nothing wrong with spanking your kids, although I'd limit it to three whacks at a time. Any more than three is for your benefit, not theirs."