I'm having a hard time here.....
when "SHTF"

should I go with cheap "off the Shelf" after shave,....

or use the disgusting "Expensive" stuff my girlfriend gave me ?

what would be proper,....seein' as I might get kilt ?

Thank you, for your perspicacious, and well advised coaching on this,......I've lost way too much sleep, ...worrying .

GTC

Heck, my wife compliments me when I get out of the shower and still smell a little like Safeguard or Irish Spring. Adding some deodorant seals the deal. I've got crap laying around that I got back in High School for Christmas or some such. How does anybody ever even use up some of that stuff.

Hai Karate!

For serious SHTF use, I think the proper aftershave or body wash-as some dudes seem to use now, needs to be able to effectively mask stuff like, shixt, blood, gas, old used oil, decaying animal flesh, rancid grease, and the like. Just stuff I normally roll around in.

No no no, in a SHTF situation you must refrain from any added smells, as your numerous enemies will be able to smell you as you try to sneak up on them!

You must be au naturel,blending in with your surroundings. I recommend a dollop of dung to slick back the hair(keeps it out of your eyes too) and perhaps a roll in the compost pile. Only this will keep you alive. You can thank me later...

No shixt?

I hear that backing up to a good Milk Cow,....and letting her chit down yer' back is a guaranteed "Scent Lock" deal

I gotta' be careful,....a local "Desert Rat" type is working some "Schit Lock" deal, and he's a better schodt then I.

I don' need no pinche' gungfights,....meng.

GTC

Yes,no shixt!
I have read SEVERAL threads on what to do in SHTF situations,as well as watching NUMEROUS documentaries on same. I`m watcha call an expert...

one guy says "shixt"

very next guy says "no shixt"


i'm so confused

Gettin' chit on by some old milk cow would appeal more then conducting "dialogue" here with some here sometimes,

CLEANER,....if you follow my drift.

GTC

No one here has touched upon underwear.

Always wear clean boxers.

Hey, manners count. Wouldn't want to make a bad impression when they strip your corpse for valuables.

Just my modest cotribution.

Birdwatcher

You actually wear underwear???????

Camo thong is de-rigeur for all SHTF situations.

Why worry about clean under wear they come come with two sides. When one side gets dirty turn them inside out and you are good for another couple of weeks.

Jim

If you rotate them 180 they should be good for another four weeks.

boy, you guys start early!

If you smell like dung and inform the bad guys you are not wearing underwear they may just leave you alone

As was mentioned earlier, I'm almost through the R&R of my new guillie suits with chitlok technology.

First designed for protection from border smugglers... book pack pile guillie... shoe pile guillie... depends pile guillie... rape tree panty guillie.... all with the add chitlok tech smell for added security.

soon to come will be my new Urban guillies... used baby diaper guillie... bloody hospital sheet guillie... used condom guillie... decaying human body parts guillie.

Get your preorders on now, for the ultimate in protection against SHTF scenarios...

Order now and you'll receive two chitlok tinfoil hats as a complementary gift...

1 800 666 SHTF...

Kent

I don't know much about cosmetics but I'd feel a hell of a lot better prepared if I had a truck load of Charmin on hand.

Talk about an easily bartered precious material. Easier to carry than gold, too.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I've tried 'em. Did ya ever walk out of the supermarket and couldn't find your car and start to think that maybe it got stolen?

Remember how bad that feels?

Now imagine feeling like you lost your OTHER head for a few moments

...and then you remember to look under them dead leaves or whatever.

Birdwatcher

crossfire;
It's my hope this finds you well on this rather cool (up here) February Sunday morn.

I have no experience in that regard with milk cows, but I will share a laugh on me when it comes to semi-feral, interior BC range cattle.

My rancher buddy needed another rider to help move the herd from one mountain grazing block to another and I'd gladly volunteered.

We were about half way bunching them up when he spotted a cow with some smooth wire wrapped around her right rear leg, just between the hoof and dewclaws. They range near abandoned gold mine claims and that chunk of the mountain is lousy with wire and other interesting mining effluent.

Anyway, somehow there's never "the right" tree around when you need it, so we roped her and he held the thinking end whilst I was tasked with removal of the wire.

I was wearing a newish hat that day and initially took it off for the procedure, but upon noting my bald head's proximity to the exhaust port, thought better of my situation and reinstalled the new felt lid.

This particular gentle animal was most sporty about trying to help my dentist pay for his new boat and this was all aided by rancher friend on the front urging me gently on with,"Will ya quit foolin' around back there Dwayne and get that wire off her? We got real work to do."

When I protested that she was endeavoring to repeatedly kick me with great enthusiasm, he replied that from his perspective I was over reacting - or words to that effect.

So it came to be that during the festivities the gentle beast experienced what any good vet would consider a healthy bowel movement for a bovine.......My hat never really looked the same after that.

As to the original question, I have no opinion. I just thought I'd share some "packer boots on the ground" experience for the edification of the thread.

Have a good week crossfire and stay safe in your border home.

Regards,
Dwayne

You all don't have to worry about that. after a week with no toilet paper you will smell like a Muslim.

One often overlooked consideration should be your nails.

If/when SHTF, it's critical to stop clipping your nails (you can still paint them if you like). Think about it......after 10-12 weeks of laying low in the "bush", you can emerge with 10 new super sharp weapons at your disposal and go ninja on de azz. While all the rookies are having their guns pried from their cold, dead fingers (ran out of ammo) - you'll be ready to do battle - and the best part.....your hands and feet will BE your weapons (and you'll never run out of nails)!!

Imagine the scratch-down you'll be able to inflict on somebody trying to jack your Xbox 360......

I was thumbing through some "survivalist's guide" a few years ago, and it discussed birth control after SHTF, and recommended saving animal intestines for condoms.

The scary part would be the woman who would aactually let you use one...

My friend Dwayne, that is why some of us have been known to wear a surplus poncho when working the nether ends of bovines & equines!

Put me down for a rotting corpse guille.

I figure it could double as zombie camo ............. just in case.

Size 7 1/8 on the hats please.

I KNEW you boys wouldn't let me down,....if it's ok with ya'll, I'm going to put this material in a pamphlet, and hand it out at church later this afternoon.

Some GREAT advice here, I feel SO much better about impending doom now.

GTC

All seriousness - if SHTF for sure - the last thing I'd do is shave.

No sense even taking the chance of a staph infection...

It is a sad state of affairs when the average person has no clue how to make soap from scratch, wash hair with simple household items and make cider vinegar for hair rinse and other health uses.

Many plants make excellent TP, mullein is one.


Trust me to take a fun post and do something dumb like make a serious reply!

Jeez, that stuff looks pretty useful, using this stuff here can get old

I can see you switching to a no fiber diet after the first use of that stuff.

BTW, common mullein has medical uses too. I use it as a drawing herb. You get something like a nasty splinter that infects, take and soak dried mullein in warm water then bandage over the spot of infection. 12 hours later there is no infection and usually the splinter is laying on the mullein leaf.

It can be used as a tea for other problems. It is rather amazing stuff.

I can send you some seeds if you like. It will grow where there is water. We find it wild along the solders of roads and the banks of streams in in our deserts.

Scott;
Well as usual I've learned something from you yet again my friend.

We have that plant all over here in southern BC, but I never knew it was useful for anything other than mountain sheep and mule deer food.

Do you have any recommended websites for reading up on it that you'd care to share?

Thanks in advance and I hope you and yours have a good week. As always, you folks will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Dwayne

YES,...seeds will be MOST welcome,......

I've got a well stored cache of Mullein and Comfrey,...and that combo is an AMAZING natural Med.

Big fan of Goldenseal Root Powder,as well...and would love to get a growing house aclimated for growing it and a lot of other Northewst botanical miracles.

Kinda' hard to replicate that climate here,....in an "Off grid" mode,....but I'm carving away at it.

GTC

"should I go with cheap "off the Shelf" after shave,....

or use the disgusting "Expensive" stuff my girlfriend gave me ?"

seriously, you got to 'man-up' some.
there is only one cologne "hoppes 9".

Look here:
http://www.altnature.com/gallery/mullien.htm

http://herbgardens.about.com/od/medicinalherbs/p/Mullein.htm


Greg, I will save some of this years seeds.

on the ranch in Midway we had thousends of plants ,birds loved the seeds deer and horses ate them as well,
leaves good backside wipe, so are black eyed susan leaves

norm99;
I hope you and yours are well today norm!

For sure it's all over down here isn't it?

Back in the day when I was questing for a big mulie rack and we had an open sheep season, the careful hunter learned where they grew the best and frequented those spots.

The black eyed susans - balsam roots - I believe are all over here as well. In the fall when the leaves dry up, the girls and I call it "potato chip weed", as it sounds like one is walking on a field of potato chips when attempting to stalk a creature across it.

I hope you and yours have a good week norm99.

Regards,
Dwayne