(with the exception of my parents)... that I should reproduce as often as possible.

So you should all be excited to hear that the newest 'flave is due any day now.

You're welcome.



Travis

Hot dang, congratulations!

Oh schit, hey you ain't getting married again are you.

blue or pink??

You can send me a good stogie Congats.

Congrats! May the little one be the best of you and your wife!

I'm speechless.

Who's the father?

Just kidding. I hope everything comes out alright, I mean OK, and mom and child are good to go.

Congrats 'flave.

Buck or doe?

Congrats to the clan and wishes for a healthy baby & mom.

YOU can GFY.


grins

Thanks guys. No idea if it will be a boy or girl.

You gotta tell these dumbphukk doctors over and over that you don't want to know until the child is born.


Travis

I seem to recall the last time you got married was right around this time last year - April 1, wasn't it?

No sir. I got married last year and she still listens real good so we are still together.



Travis

Well, your life is about to change--and it's all for the better! Congratulations!

Yeah. And none of you miserable [bleep] showed up. Thanks again.



Travis

My life will change? How you figure?



Travis

It gonna smell like schitt and vomit just a tad more frequently than usual, no biggie...

Ha. You think Col. Travis changes diapers or something?

I have a feeling he will teach her t shoot a gun in a few years.

Congrats

Congrats!

Though you screwed up and couldn't even GFY right.

Drs? I thought you only had Medicine Men out there.

You gonna do natural childbirth? All you need is some hot water (no idea), some towels, and a catcher's mitt. You can cut the cord with one of them fancy pants knives your sportin'.

Geezus H. Keerist, another 'Flave progeny telling the world to GFY for another generation! Congrats on the tax deduction and the fact that your boys can swim!

Let me guess.......due April 1?

Isn't that convenient. Same day as you "anniversary".

Doesn't that day have some colloquial name?

Tripe.

Aw jeez! Now there's gonna be another one of you bastids telling us all to GFY!

Congrats!

This

I called it last year too......

It is lambing season, after all...

Yeah, sure. Seems it was just a year ago that you didn't get married. I'm waiting for pics of the little fart before offering up any congratulations.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...

Fertile myrtle. Lol

"Couple of days" hmmm

Oh well, congrats and be sure and tell IT to GFI.

I may have one more after this. I don't like the idea of having an empty house.


Travis

Not a bastard. I was married last year. Remember?



Travis

Love that stuff.



Travis

Don't tell me. Let me guess.


The baby is due tomorrow�..

April Fool, and GFY, Travis.

BTW, starting on March 31 is cheating.

You and aalf are going to feel silly after this newest 'flave enters the earth.



Travis

WTF? Do you guys think I would joke about something like this?



Travis

This is just the most splendid news, quite wonderful.




Lemme know if you need to borrow a calf puller and chains.

One cannot guess when the Lord will decide to deliver unto us the newest 'flave.

But it could go any time now according to my wife.


Travis

Congrats Travis Only thing better than having kids is grandkids

Laughin'...



Travis

Thought so.

I will present unto his Eminence, the newest flave, should it be a man-child�.my much used and treasured Randall�..

Thanks Sam.

But I don't plan on getting too involved. I probably won't even go in the delivery room.

I get a laugh out of all these dads cutting cords and other stupid schit. If I wanted to be as stupid as a doctor, I'd have been a doctor.


Travis

What if it's a little tiny infant girl?



Travis

In a couple of days....

Pics, or it never happened.


Congrats, just in case.

I look forward to those too.



Travis

Be sure and have yerself some umbilical scampy........

Should it be a female, she shall receive my keepsake Cubic Zirconium Tiara.

Leopard thong?




Nevermind, Poobs already bequeathed that to Ace.

I think there may be some redundancy in there�.

What is that?



Travis

Speaking of Ace... He is supposed to come pick up a bow and arrow from me some time this month.

I might take him out to the range so he can teach me the ol' LEFT JAB!



Travis

Prepare yourself.




BOOM!

Yer full of sheit.

Nobody can miss like Ace.

Nobody.



Travis

You'll be eating those words after I post a picture of a newborn infant baby tiny 'flave.



Travis

Placenta pate'



Clyde

This is correct.

I don't deal with human beings until they can speak English, and not schit their pants.

(BillyGoatGruff is the exception to these rules.)


Travis

Must be a southern thing. I have no idea what you two are talking about.



Travis

Same here.

The big question is, who keeps telling you to go forth and procreate?

Obamacare vasectomy:

Ok Congrats!

Snake

Everybody I know wants more of me.

I've looked into cloning but it is cost prohibitive at this point. Procreation is the next best thing.



Travis

If you can find Nurse Fugley to hold your pee pee outta the way, I'm sure there'd be a line to man the mallet....

I would never get neutered. Ever. Never.




Travis

Not much say in it if you're "Bobbitized".....

That'll never happen either. I lock the doors before I pass out.



Travis

I work in a DNA sequencing lab, and we have perfected low cost cloning. I have 3 of me on call at any given time. Comes in handy but they lack my social skills.

Just please don't name him Carl and allow him to wear a Calvary hat

Congrats!

I'll get to sell another knife. Congratulation's

So if you have sex with your clone are you considered gay? Or merely masturbating?

Congrats Travis..........

I was wondering why you had put on weight.
Congrats.

Wife just sent me a text saying they are going to take her to the part of the hospital that delivers babies.



Travis

That has nothing to do with pregnancy. That has to do with giving up on life.



Travis

Oh so now it's all about you huh? Besides I appear to be buying darn near everything you're making.

http://www.urologyteam.com/?q=dr-richard-chopp

Here you go. A local legend around Austin they say. Dr. Dick Chopp.

Come on down, I'll put you for a day or two, even throw in a bag of frozen peas. Lol

Congrats

tell her good luck.

I'm bettin it's a girl.

Cows, hogs, dogs, SHEEP, etc?

I wish some of you guys would show a little reverence.



Travis

Yup.

you will go to heaven

You just found out too, huh

There were some complications early on so I have kept the information to myself and some close friends. But last month the doctor said things were looking good to go so I feel comfortable making the announcement at this point.





Travis

That's sick.


Travis

Tomorrow, you're going to LOL and say you had us all fooled.

Either tonight or tomorrow you sonsaheartlessbitches are going to apologize to 'flave!



Travis

I figured but thanks anyway.



Travis

Glad things worked out.

I'll send a set of 3T sized velcro gloves so you can start em' young

That's about as classy as living in your parent's basement.



Travis

Pics or better yet a youtube video of a live birth with your ugly mug next to the birthing canal or ...

IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Ok gents. My wife just text me and said they are admitting her for the evening. They are having a scheduled delivery tomorrow morning.

Which is good, because I have a lot on my plate this evening.



Travis

What's with all the strange comments?

Any other member would have 30 pages of "prayers sent" and a [bleep]' charity assembled by now.

Some things are worth joking about. The birth of a child is not one of them.


Travis

You're far too sensitive...

Same here, thinking a T-bone.



FWIW, my brother was born on April 1st.

He has the only birthday of anyone I know that I can remember.

I'm not typically but having a child can be stressful.



Travis

According to the doctors, it's gonna be two by around noon tomorrow.


Travis

Which Hospital..?

Just in case anybody want's to send Congratulations and the like...

Bear Paw Veterinary Svc
5051 US Highway 2 NW, Havre, MT 59501
(406) 265-8901

Pears sent that your children don't take after you.

Danged sheep farmer was out a little to long on the prarie with them pretty sheep. GW

Guess I'm an idiot cos I actually believe him. Hence, the sound advice not to name him Carl wearing a Calvary hat.

Although, I did question the invitation to the wedding or I would have gone. Well maybe not. Too far to drive.

Are they going to cut her guts open or will they induce labor?

Inquiring minds and all ...

The vet has elbow length gloves and a rubber apron on as we speak/type.

When do I get my cigar?

Congrats, and have a taste of Makers Mark on me.

I don't understand this

Hey Flave,

I've got one more question ...






Are you saving the afterbirth?

Incorrect. You will always be full of sheit whether you are telling the truth this time or not. I win.

I'm kinda hoping this is all true, as mini-flave's can only be a good thing, but I'm still rather doubtful about it all. If we see a pic that include both sire and offspring....I'll call photoshop. If that proves false, I will accept and rejoice.

Do the logic guys. Do the biology. This never happens when all you do is FY.


Happy 4/1, Travis. The HI-line salute.

You guys need to take a step back and reconsider some things. Yeah I know he can be a bit rough and he likes to rattle some cages but we're talking about the birth of a child here. I offer a hearty toast and well wishes to the bride and soon to be healthy child.

Congrats buddy.

Sorry Flave, I'm calling bullshite too. I'll still drink to the thought though. Happy fake fathering!

You were a co-conspirator last time. ;-{>8

OK. I changed my mind.

+ 1

What does Red have to say about this.......

Rural Oregon Love Poem

Susie Lee done feel in Love
She planned to marry Joe
She was so happy bout it all
She told her pappy so.

Pappy told her Susie Gal
You'll have to find another
I'd just as soon yo' ma don't know
But Joe is yo' half brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will
But After telling Pappy This
He said "There's A'Trouble Still"

You can't marry Will my Gal
And Please don't tell yo' mother
But Will and Joe, and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother..

But Mama knew this and Said My Child
Just do what makes yo' Happy
Marry Will or Marry Joe
You ain't no kin to Pappy!


Congrats are in Order!

Congratulations, my friend.

Thanks John.

Looks like I'm supposed to be up there around 0900.



Travis

BGG wouldn't lie to us.

Thanks friend.



Travis

Here come de judge.

If it's true I hope he/she's not as corrupt as it's siblings.
If it's not true,,,, GFY.

Matter of fact, true or not, GFY.

Still waiting.....

Meter is pegged...

Absolutely! Pics or it didn't happen!

Ed

Awww, it's so cute!

Congratulations. I was waiting for all the excitement to die down.

Can't wait to see the pic of a baby born today.

lmao

Unto us a 'flave is born! I'll get some pics up ASAP.

Baby is healthy, but it is a girl. 7lbs.




Travis

Thanks FG. I appreciate that.

Not really understanding the hostility over this. Seems all anybody on this forum does is complain about black people. I thought I'd do my part to keep things Even Steve.


Travis

Nothing wrong with that---Congrats!

am hopin everyone still has their legs in their hip sockets.


can't wait to see pix of uh this blessed event

Looks like Flave has been bangin' a [bleep]

Awesome news buddy! Really cool, can't wait to meet her. I'll give you a call this evening.

I should be back home in an hour or two.

This place sucks.



Travis

Congratulations! Glad to hear the baby is healthy. A baby girl flave, outstanding.

Pink knife handle?

Here you go you naysaying [bleep]!

A brand new baby 'flave!




Travis the Fertile

Yes please.



Travis

Thank you John.


Travis

Congrats...

I hope the world is ready.

I just saw the pic. That one beautiful baby. Good on you and the MOM!!!

Congrats!

Now GFY, cause momma is in no shape to help you on that front for a while.

Do we know who the mother is?

Still not buying it by the way. Even if you had a baby, I'm not buying it. Even if you can prove it, I'm not a buyer.

Nope, unh uhh, nadda,

Same here, Flava Flave ain't had no baby on April Fools day, no way.

Happy Uncleness to you.

Don't believe it, but just in case...nice kid....

looks like BGG

I'm not buying it. Not until we see a picture of a laptop next to the kid with the 'campfire open to this thread and the date stamp is visible. Photoshop not allowed. But I haven't laughed all day until I read this whole thread. Thanks! And just in case....congratulations.

WTF is wrong with you people?



Travis

Dat's funnee

Pictures are taken with the same camera that the rest of his pics are taken with.

Does this look like somebody that would joke around about the birth of a [bleep] child?




Travis

OUTSTANDING Travis! Huge congrats! Just don't name her Carl!

When's the party!?

David

BTW---You boys who saw fit to post chit (literally) in this proud father's new baby thread should flush it.

Not sure how you know that...but thank you for the support regardless.



Travis

I wanted to name her Pepper because I think that character is funny in the movie The Cowboy Way.

Thank for the kind words.

I'm going down to the Ox in a about 20 minutes.

And I agree about the nasty pics.


Travis

Yes.

Happened to Sam's brother. Not sure why it can't happen to me.



Travis

ok that made me ROR


but she does look way too cute to be yours flave


course that don't mean anything, so do mine, and I'm pretty sure I made at least the ugliest one

Congratulations on the new addition to your family.

Cute kid.

Ah hell, BGG's not a bad guy anyway.

I'd ask him to chip in some cash each month, but I know he never has any.



Travis

Let's see a picture of you holding your daughter

Congrats! Everyone should have at least one daughter...for some reason they make great company for mom on a monthly basis...while I'm out waiting for the "air to clear"!

My youngest, Tyson, turns 5 today.

I'm not at the hospital right now. But I can get one before COB.



Travis

It looks like an old pic of someone who once went to a hospital to visit somebody who's now old enough to go hunting with you.

You miserable [bleep].



Travis

am almost certain you meant flave, and just utilized quick reply


but in case you meant me....well I put her on a plane yesterday and considering she's 24 years old am thinking it wouldn't look very appropriate for me to be holding her


though I did send her off with a box of Federal 525 pack .22's, so she can feed the Weatherby she inherited from grandpa this Xmas

that girl loves that rifle, I guess I could have posted a photo of me holding those .22 shells

Wanna bet?



Travis

I see you had scrubs on did you help pull her out?

Three words.

[bleep] & no.

They had to do the surgery thing (whatever it's called) due to complications. So I could go in the room, but they made me wear those [bleep]' rags.


Travis

Thank you.



Travis

Thank you.



Travis

For somebody who posts pics of his Ruger LCR within 60 seconds of shooting a milk jug, you've been awfully slow about coming up with a wet, squirming newborn.

Yeah.

My wife.





Travis

Wait a minute. Where did this come from?

Well A hearty Congrats, I have a cousin who's B-day is today.
I will feel better bout this whole situation when you confirm mananna.

Oh hope Mrs. Flave is doing well.
I only asked cause after busting the Dr.'s balls about me delivering my daughter he pulled me over and made me do it!
Asked if I could stitch up the Ex but he wouldn't allow that

I guess I'm the only guy on earth to leave the delivery room with the baby and stay with the baby for awhile and call all my family and friends before snapping some pics and getting back on line.

What's wrong with you people that you would joke about something like this?

If I were ironeagle you'd all be taking paracord donations! WTF?

Travis

Thank you.



Travis

They typically fall out of vaginas!

I gotta teach you people everything!


Travis

Travis looks like your a lucky man. To some others this is shameful

I'd like to offer up the first $20 towards the childs future therapy sessions. Can I get an Amen?

Thanks Rick!





Travis

You've obviously dropped your standards to rock bottom.

A Ruger? Really?!!!

Looks like BGG?

congrats?

Only $20? She'll need an endowment that makes Trump look like a pauper!

Seriously flave I hope this doesn't mean you're bowing out of the Presidential race to spend more time w/ family.

"You've obviously dropped your standards to rock bottom.

A Ruger? Really?!!!"

And in flip flops no less!!! Probably wearing nail polish too!

Love it.

Not at all.

Here is a picture of my wife (we married last year) in front of our future home.




Travis

Wait, isn't that your sister?

No.



Travis

eeeww who would have a baby with their sister!

flave??

Dontcha jus love Travis?

Just enough information to stir chit up, never quite enough to put the opposition to rest, just strings us along...

You sir, are THE MASTER and I salute you! Always fun times!

I understand the doubt with it being April 1st and all, and obviously I'm not one to mind a little schit talking, but that really is my wife and that really is my newborn baby.



Travis

Explains keeping "it" on the down low.

Love the look of your new house. When do you move in?

Cute kid. Mercifully, she got the mother's looks.

You lactating? Your boobs look big in those scrubs.

Wow.

Guess I should have known better than to posting something relevant on here.

Thanks to all who gave me congratulations. It's appreciated.


Travis

No hostility bud,,,, but with it being April fools day and you being you and all, I just wasn't sure if you were pulling our legs.

Congrats on the flav'ett. I'll drink a toast to as soon as I get to town for more whisky.

Oh BTW,,, you never see me ripping on blacks. I'm an equal opportunity hater.

hey flave will you ask the lil missus a question for us?

This'll be funny..........tomorrow.

An April 1st baby coincides with the 4th of July break you took last summer.

Yes, you should have. And BTW, guilt trips went out of style with my second ex wife.

whoa easy on that quick reply

I may or may not have taken a break during 4th of July, but I've not stepped foot in MT and besides that baby is way too cute to be mine!

For all the Doubting Toms out there, I just swang by the hospital a little bit ago. Real baby, real wife, real deal. Beautiful little girl he made.

Sidenote, damn I hate hospitals.

Stay focused, this thread is about mini 'flaveete.

Fave...I believe you.

FWIW, my 5 year old b-day boy decided that we'd have hot dogs and fries for breakfast this morning. I think he's decided to have German pancakes w/ all the fixins for dinner.

And, yes, he's a tease. Maybe there really is something about April 1st.

You'll have fun with it!

Either way, you two characters proclaiming anything in unison on April 1 is suspect x 10.

Edited to add- Yer both full of sheit!

If Shrapnel says it happened, I'll believe it.

But only if he says it tomorrow.

Congratulations. I got one coming next month

I happy either way this goes. This is a great thread. I've seen a picture of a giant turd, a hot chick, deflave as doctor, a Ruger 10/22 and a baby. I've read several humorous quotes and even laughed a few times.

This is as good as it gets!

Flave,

Forgot to ask is that "hat" standard equipment when people throw scrubs on in Montana hospitals?

Either way, nice touch.

Congratulations 'flave..

I believed you..grin

The best April Fools joke ol Dave could muster up is NOT being full of sheit, and on April 1 making it that much more unbelievable. In light of that, I can concede that this is within his realm of sickness.

You mean, is Travis capable of pulling a phoney baloney marriage gag last year, just to set up an impregnation 3 months later for a real April 1 birth this year?

Hmmm. Timing is critical. And he is extraordinarily cunning. And patient. We all now how patient he can be.

Although the order they are taken in does not jive with the other pictures, meaning that there are pictures in your photo bucket with later date stamps than those you are showing as pics from today. hummmm.

Only the NSA knows the truth, the rest of us will have to wait and see.


But just in case...

Congrats deflave.


I've weighed the options. Believing flave and wishing sincere congratulations and later learning it's a joke.

Or, calling bull hit and later learning it's for real....




CONGRATS flave!!!!!

I agree with Northern Dave.

Congrats Travis and Mrs Travis! I hope she is a good sleeper for both of your sakes. I hope for your sake, your wife doesnt buy a breast pump. Whoever the SOB is who invented the breast pump is an enemy of men everywhere!

Travis,

Congratulations.

Saw in your past posts you're originally from Illinois.

Wife and I were born in Chicago and raised in the suburbs.
We recently relocated from N Wisconsin to Spearfish South Dakota.
Lived in N Wisconsin for the past 4 yrs ( Rhinelander area )
Couldn't wait to get away from the (Cheeseheads).
Looking forward to meeting you at the next Campfire event so I can fill you in on our Wisconsin experience.

Gfy.

Regards

Kevin

Oh...I don't know. I thought it was kinda "cute" when she had both sides hooked up!

You will have to keep telling yourself starting now to control the urge to say "mooo" under your breath!

That's my conundrum as well...

If I've learned anything over the years it's don't be a sucker with a few picks.

Deflave would be very disappointed if I was suckered in that easily...

However,...he was wearing scrubs,..so I don't know...

Would be much easier if yougster was wearing a GFY onesie..

Belated Congrats...

If this is a hoax it is brilliant and Travis should reproduce, Montana needs native borns w/ humor. If not congrats, when she gets close to 13 your prowess w/ firearms will be welcome when guys start showing up and you remember what you were like at that age. Enjoy!

mike r

That is one good lookin' kid. Congrats Pard.

Uncle Dale says GFY to all you disbelievers.

We'll work out the pink knife handles.

Congratulations my friend and GFY brother...

Congrats flave. Kids rule.

Looks like you've got two real nice gals there Travis. Congrats to all of you!

Not intending to address that toward you, 'Goat

Are you calling this man a liar?




Travis

Thanks Dave.

Just left the hospital. All is well.


Travis

Thanks FG! Much appreciated.


Travis

They made me remove it before I went into the delivery room. I had to wear one of those stupid blue things.


Travis

Shirley you have a pic of you, "the wife", and the new "baby"?

Congrats!

Accessory.

That is one homely mofo. Nice rifle though.

Mom asked I not take photos right now. She's all doped up.

But she did dress up the little one for a photo op:

Goddammn, I look good today.



Travis

Co-conspirator! LOL!

Well, I'll be go to hell.


Congrats playa!



If you haven't already thought of a name....

Samantha has a nice ring to it.

Niece?

I'm going to tell him you said that.



Travis

Pepper.


Travis

Congrats (with some tentative apprehension based on history)!

Glad everyone is safe and healthy......just had a drink for Crimson Tide, guess I'll tip the jar back for you/yours.

'Sliocht sleachta ar shliocht bhur sleachta'

George

See I believed from the start. All you doubters should be ashamed and forced to buy one of Rick's knives.

Once again congrats Travis!! Campfire salute!

David

Congrats Pappy 'Flave.

Gunner

Congrats Travis. Now for the bad news. When you raise a boy you only have to be concerned about one pecker. With a girl, you have to be concerned about ten thousand of them.... Good luck.

I have no family anywhere near here.

But nice try.



Travis

Wow, you are home already?

Middle name "Oni?"

Pretty impressive being able to take the pic of her and then being able to put her back in for 2 months.

A gorgeous one?

Da GRUFF and a dead skunker.

Gunner

Cool. Congratulations! Hope mom is doing well. Beautiful little girl.

Google Nexus 4??

Well, I was wrong again. How embarrassing..............

Congrats to you & yours!

I owe you a cyber beer. Meet ya around 9:00?

That post is about as intelligent and classy as the rest of your posts.


Travis

That's the hospital.


Travis

Thanks bud.



Travis

No, no, no, the perfect name and spelling is GeniFYr.

She's a cute little thing. If I get burned on some elaborate April flave's joke then so be it. Congratulations, Trav!

'Flave always forgives.

Just like Jesus.


Travis

Thanks friendo.


Travis

Congrats Se�or and Se�ora Flave.

She's gonna have you wrapped around here pinkie finger in no time.

Thanks Karnis.



Travis

Congrats, Travis. Hope all is well with Mom and Babe.

Wayne

Hmmmmm

Kevin,

I know how that movie ends my friend. Something along the lines of:

"Wisconsin sucks balls because all anybody does is take pictures of their schit in the toilet bowl. So we left as fast as we could."

Pretty close?


Travis

Thank you sir.



Travis

Menefee is getting another knife order due to his believing in me.




Travis

Alright, I'll give in. Hard to argue with the pics. Beautiful little girl and beautiful wife. That little girl will make you the happiest man ever. Mine has and I have loved every minute of it. Spend lots of time with here and give her lots of love and she will love you forever for it my friend. Congrats! Ryan

Are you saying I look like Billy Crystal?



Travis

Thank you sir.



Dave

I'm just saying you,you your good

I almost got duped last year.....come to think of it I really hope it is true this year. I'll take one for the team and say congrats. Even if it a joke she is a beautiful girl.

Good luck Travis

GFY


Clyde

Flave... Congradulations, I hope you hold her high and proud

It's good to be flave.....God blessed you big time..congrats!

You can sure see your brothers nose in that beautiful child

Hell of a good looking kid there, I just had to throw a little fuel on the fire, I never doubted you Travis. Congrats and GFY!

That's amazing, having a kid on your 1 year wedding anniversary has to be pretty rare. Congrats.

Yeah, isn't that something? And on April 1 no less.

Does that involve dropping trow...?

Thanks Clyde.

When her and her mom get back from the hospital I'll relay your kind words.



Travis

He always does.

Thank you.



Travis

Do you believe in miracles?

Thanks Rick.

I'm not a fan of charity, but if you want to build her a pocket knife, free of charge, I'm cool with that.


Travis

I appreciate it.



Travis

Through Christ, nothing is impossible.

Remember that.



Travis

yeah, right...

True love, and Divine intervention, doesn't recognize arbitrary dates.


Travis

Who the [bleep] are you? Dr. Huxtable?

It's a [bleep]' baby. Accept it.


Travis

I never get tired of looking at fresh newborns. There is something amazing about them. I've brought almost 700 of 'em into the world, and if they didn't arrive at such inconvenient times and with uncooperative parents in tow, I'd still be bringin' 'em into the world.

That's an awful pretty little gal, Flave. C-section, looks like. Hope mama's doing well.

I personally find them disgusting upon arrival, but they do clean up pretty nice.


Travis

I do have to admit, I was staying with Flave awhile back and Megan was "heavy with child". The only baby in the house was Travis, he kept trying to get into my guns, I had to bring them in every night and put them under my bed.

When I left, there were still no spare babies in the house. Don't ask Travis about Megan's choice in cars, that is a touchy subject...

Congrats to all the 'Flave's.

Did I read this is #3.?

Can't imagine the 18 year cost of having one, much less 3, of those...

Congrats,...

Congratulations.

I have 3. Enjoy them well there young, they grow up fast.

Congrats 'Flave, glad to hear everything went well with momma and baby.

Our first was overdue, and we had to schedule an inducement with the doctor to get the womb rat out.. Doctor looks at the calender and gets all gooey eyed and says "Awww, you can have a Valentine's Day baby!"

Wifey and I looked at one another and instantly said to the doctor, "FTS! Yank it on the 15th!!"

Dumb doctor wasn't expecting that..

What were we talking about again?

Congrats on the new addition to the family, have you bought her a rifle yet??
She's a cutie!

Thank you for blessing our home by the way.

The house has stayed at 70 degrees despite the furnace being shut off. Huge savings.


Travis

Thank you sir.



Travis

Not a concern when you're rich.

Thank you.


Travis

I owe it all to a box of Bergers.



Travis

That's the oldest looking 7 hr human I've ever seen...

OTOH, isn't technology great? You can post old photos while sitting at the bar with Gruff chugging Ranger IPA's and laughing your asses off!

I don't like to bring other people into a thread about me, but ours was not overdue, and petite as could be.

I love babies:



Travis

You just spent 9 months with a pregnant women...that alone deserves congratulations. I have always referred to pregnancy as the 9 months of hell for your 15 minutes of fame.

Doc

Oh yeah. Rifle is in the works.

Thank you sir.


Travis

.

I never knew she was pregnant unless she reminded me.


Travis

Too many Budweisers can cause early Delayed Stress Syndrome. It almost looks like there are too many Bud's in that picture. Baby Rufus does look large from the cheap cell phone you are using to take those pictures...

This is what you have to look forwards to

I've told my wife to cut back. Repeatedly.

Oh well. Nobody (we know who the exceptions are) is perfect.



Travis

And if you passed on the GFY gene

Beautiful girl, congrats sir!

Congrats!

Oh and I meant Travis not dvdegeorge!

Good going Trav! Congrats to you and your wife. Magnum_Man

Congrats on the beautiful little girl - and glad to hear Mrs Flave is doing well.

Mark

I wanted to believe...I really,truly did. And I was almost there too. Shrapnel himself almost went as far as to say it happened. And then Deflave, drunk on his own good looks, posted one too many pics...

Well, it's after midnight here EST. April 2. I think it might be the real deal! Congratulations! If false, congratulations on a terrific looking model wife and child.

With that cute young gal underfoot, I think we're going to see a kinder, gentler 'flave. One that knows more about Malibu Barbie than ballistic coefficient. Well done, sir.

All I'm sayin is look real carefully at the pic of 'Flave with the wee one, and the next pic with the older child. Pay close attention to the distinctive pattern of the island in the kitchen...

you look like you're getting choked up, actually

but that's allowed for Dads.

You do realize that you will have to buy pink firearms?

Congrats!

Yep . . . . .I never bit, called bullsh*t from the get go . . . . .I'm just waiting on the punch line.

Time to come clean...but....you,you,your good

WTF are you? The Columbo of Canaduh?

GFY!


Travis

It's been a very emotional time for me.


Travis

April Fools and GFY!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Travis

Some artists work with canvas and oils. 'Flave works with bullschit and the written word!

I crack me the [bleep] up some days.


Travis

You know you wanted to believe.

I can't believe nobody said anything about the last pic. [bleep]' baby has to weigh 10lbs in that pic!

(I weighed 11lbs when I was born by the way)


Travis

u gonna eat that?

[bleep]' John Stossel on assignment.

Don't be a hater.



Travis

No way.

He rarely showers.


Travis

haha

But you you your good!

Congratulations!!!

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=J6_1Pw1xm9U[/video]

Well Flave,

You just proved there's a hell of a lot more born than one a minute....

Can't wait for next years performance.

Hint: You might want to start the ball rolling a little earlier...


PS- What do Fireball, SLM and myself win?

Well in the interest of full disclosure; that is my wife and that is my child. But neither my marriage or the birth had anything to do with April 1.

So if you did give me props, do not consider this thread a lie, as much as a minor manipulation of time frames for the purpose of humor.


Travis

You and Okok come up with this story together?

It was well played, gota give you that. I think you had more believers than not, by the end.

THATS the post Ive been looking for!

Let's not confuse an attempt at humor with a no life having, lap dog [bleep]-[bleep].

Thanks.



Travis

I will remember all who didn't believe.

The lack of faith is disturbing.




Travis

Haha! I got you good you [bleep]!



Travis

You can fool some of the people some of the time, etc, etc, etc.....

Yawn.

You and yer compadres are full of sheit.



Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, I remember...

















I said it.

Edited to add- We still love you Dave. Nobody can replace you.

I can't believe how many people fell for that sch*t.

It was all a lie except the part about Megan's car...

Especially considering the source!

Posted March 31:

Yea, no doubt, . . . . and the date.

No wonder Obama got elected twice.

What a second, you guys are saying this isn't true?

All a joke?




Way to toy with our fragile emotions there Flave.


Man I feel stupid!

We all feel stupid around Dave. Well, most of you do.

Campfire just a pawn in the great game of 'Flave.

You didn't have to hide your guns from him?

Was just kidding I believed ya...

You had me until I posted "You're home from the hospital already?" That kid is older than 1/2 a day and that doesnt look like a hospital to me.

The 10 pounder sealed the deal.

I will give you this, it was well played and a person only has so many pictures they can post so you did very well.

Yeah, when you posted that about my home I had to dig deep and find more bullschit.

(Not really. I actually never run out, but you called that pretty quick)


Travis

This post literally had me in tears.

You have no idea how close to reality this was when you typed it.



Travis

He has a locking topper.

A really, really, well built, locking topper.



Travis

Part of me wanted to beleive, but I remained skeptical. I errored on the side of caution and gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Going to [bleep] myself now.

Nevah evah again


Clyde

Very disturbing indeed.

;-{>8 ;-{>8 ;-{>8 ;-{>8

For the record I did NOT lie. Not even one time! Nor am I an accessory to lies, merely an abetting BFF.

I am a gorgeous abettor. (per my buddy 'slave).

I hate to be long winded, but you guys want to know something really funny? I have the blessed misfortune of living nowhere near any of my family. So none of them knew I was married or that I was having another child. I had no intention of telling any of them. I was just going to send them pictures throughout 2014 of the 'flaves doing schit together, and just wait for one of them to ask "What's with the baby?" Then I was going to tell them.

Well, long story short, that only lasted about a week after the baby was born because my wife did not think anybody (except me) would find humor in it. BGG warned against it as well.

So then I sent my brother, sister, mom and dad this e-mail which included a pic of a Sako Vixen, and the newborn. Keep in mind nobody in my family could give two schist about any of my rifles.


The first picture is of a Sako Vixen. It is pre-Garcia and has the Bofors steel barrel. I can't say I stole it, but I can say I got a good deal on it. The peep alone is worth about $100.00 and it includes the original steel Sako rings. Chambered in the .222 Remington Magnum and it is a sporter weight. Gonna be a sweetheart.

The second pic is of the baby M--- had Wednesday morning. Her name is E--- but I call her Pepper. She was born a month early so only weighed 7lbs.

Anyway, I'll let you all know how the Sako shoots when I get it. I've wanted one since I was about 12 years old.


Travis

PS-M---- and I married last spring. I wasn't sure if I told everybody that or not but I don't want you to think this is a bastard child.

FYI? My mom and dad did NOT see the humor in it. At all. Not even a little bit. None. Zero. Wouldn't speak to me for weeks.

I still thought it was funny...

epic

Bud, there aren't many things in this life that make me laugh out loud short of a Democratic Presidential assassination, but you sir, are one of them.

All the best to you and your (quite possibly imaginary) family.

Stupid

My brother thought it was funny too.

That makes three.


Travis

BGG tells me that. A lot.



Travis

It is funny.

I very, very rarely laugh out loud at anything. I just did.

buwahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....we got you guys good!!

Hook, line and sinker!!

Now I'm doubting the existence of Havre, MT!?!? How did you get it to show on google maps...I gotta know!?

Played well...and FWIW, I always had my lingering doubts that got serious about the time the photo of the baby in your arms hit the web.

Also, my 5 yr old is pissed about not sharing a b-day with your girl.

Travis, a grotesque but subtle attempt at humor at the expense of your friends is........hilarious. Congrats on converting the sceptics with nerve and elan. I am glad you are not a politician,yet.

mike r

Dude. You should have seen what my mom said when she finally spoke to me again. It damn near made me feel bad.

My goal was to make it to Christmas. How [bleep] funny would that have been? Send a Christmas card to everybody with an almost-one-year old? And when people ask, just play real dumb.

"Oh, that? Yeah. We had a baby. Didn't we mention that? Yeah well, we did, soooo....Merry Christmas"



Travis

Hahaha! byc and I got you good you [bleep]' [bleep]!



Travis

Besides your reputation the baby in the pink outfit sealed the deal...I played along but having delivered 2 of my own daughters I knew you were full of schit

I hope to enter politics after I retire.

And I had go look up "elan."


Travis

still laughin'�


Absolutely classic. Despite the naysayers the pictures reeled in virtually everyone. Well played.

I am not sure this 4/1 stuff is over yet. But I'm naturally suspicious.

Please let your child know it is all in fun.

I have friends at google FYI...



Travis

I know. But for whatever reason I had no pics with a newborn to pull out of my ass. Was the best I could do.



Travis

Naturally, you'd prefer the company of suckers who believe in you

No need to be.



Travis

I actually remember you saying something almost exactly like this on April 2, 2013.

This would be a good place to sell some Arizona ocean front property

I vote we send you pink firearms.

and a Yorkie...

You did well enough with what you had at hand. I didn't call you on the "newborn" pic, but gave you the C-section comment to see how you'd answer it... when you said you were home same day, the jig was up.

But well-played all the same, flave! It made for an interesting 4/1/14.

Doc I said to myself"how the heck can a man who has delivered 700 babies not see through this"
Then I figured you were just playing along also

I am SHOCKED I tell you, SHOCKED.

This much I can say and it is true, I am hijacking this thread to announce the "Ammo Man" is bringing me 10,000 rounds of 22 ammo and 1,000 rounds of 223 ammo, so if you need some, let me know...

You lost me there.

Why wouldn't I be home the same day? Or do you mean the child?



Travis

I thought you were in my corner at first.

Then you started noting the dates of the pics.

[bleep]!


Travis

I'll just use the pink gun on the Yorkie. And then sell the pink gun.


Travis

Gouger...




Travis

some of us nibble and spit the hook



you did play it well


but you do have a "tell"


best not take up gambling for a living

My dick is 12" long. Anyone can embellish!

Well, in the interest of full disclosure I wanted to congratulate you yesterday after I saw the pictures, but I was suspicious about a possible manipulation of time frames given your penchant for humor, double entendres and nuanced, intentional ambiguity. The best stories have enough truth in them to allow the storytellers (a/k/a liars) to keep them going for a while without crossing themselves up.

When you start your Presidential Super Pac, be sure to put up an ad on the Campfire and watch House of Cards a bunch of times. (The latter has a tip to scrub location data from photos.)

Now, I have a comment about this quote:



Be sure to give these people important cabinet posts.

Finally, a hearty Congratulations on the true parts!

There are more people watching this thread than the classifieds, so I took advantage of the volume and potential help to replenish those bare shelves..

This wasn't a badly played GFY event, but...

knew it was BS

called it as BS

and was insulted for not believing.






I'm awaiting an apology. You can PM if a public apology makes you uncomfortable.

Same here IB!

Travis is like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one.

Each year, we all say BS, and he says no, no, it's true, and we all laugh and say BS, and he says [bleep] [bleep], I'll show you, and we all laugh some more, and his story gets better and better.

Great fun. I'm already looking forward to next year.

Congrats!.... I guess??....

My inability to sway you, has forced me to recognize my ineptness when it comes to April 1st. There shall be no more.


Travis

For at least a year�.

But in a way, this thread was a wedding announcement and a birth announcement rolled into one! So what if the dates were off a little?

It's been enjoyable....but it will be tough to top!

Yeah those time stamps are a bitch to hide. I played along well enough.

If Travis said he had a baby flave then he had a baby flave case closed.

Actually have a baby on 4/1/15 and nobody will believe you. That would be a good one. You may have to impregnate a bunch of women if you want to up the odds of hitting the date just right.

I called bullchit right away but had to keep reading to finally get to this post. Congrats on drawing the naysayers in one by one though.......TWO years in a row! ROR!

tweeter,

That GFY gif is awesome!


Travis

I always tell people "If you want a relationship to last as long as 3-5 years, you better be a damn good liar."

It's an art.



Travis

No more after this one.

I feel guilty when I mislead people that long.



Travis

You suck.

Already starting on next years I see.

Question.

Did you use your Uber-fast Big Bore?

and by that I mean, your COCK.

lmao

Bro.
I would never make fun of your COCK.
I still have dreams.




P.S. Usually dry.

Well,
Congrats on whatever may or may not have transpired.

Fine, I'll send the Yorkie to Shrapnel and put your return address on the box...

Do you shoot solids?
and by that I still mean, your COCK.

Don't post on my threads. I don't want to end up in "Miscellaneous" with all those other losers.



Travis

No COCK talk?

Can't you distinguish a wholesome family thread from an unwholesome family thread?



Travis