A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office,

ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out,
a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.


Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident
and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions,
the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus,
which he had just purchased the day before,
was completely ruined and would never be the same,
no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant,
the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing?
It was severed when the truck hit you!"

"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex !!"

There is a reason why Americans have little respect for lawyers.

Yup, a couple of centuries ago when doctors were still bleeding people with leeches, lawyers were writing the constitution. Everybody loves to hate a lawyer....till they need one.

And now lawyers are bleeding doctors like leeches.

Times do change...

Buy a door knob and probably half the cost goes to lawyers.

Whaddya have with 6 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

A sand shortage.

What is black & brown & looks good on a lawyer?



A Doberman

Rang my bells and thanks.

Got a really good laugh out of it.

Steve

fence between heaven and hell blew down.
God calls up the Devil and tell him he has rebuild it.
ain't gonna says the devil, God says you better or i'll sue you.

Devil laughs and asks " where are you going to get any lawyers"

They all a joke in some way

Why don't they put pictures of lawyers on stamps?

People would spit on the wrong side.

So the devil needs a book keeper and he's got it narrowed down to three applicants: a CPA, a CMA and a lawyer.

The CPA interviews first. The devil asks, "What's 2+2?
The CPA says, "4". He get's the , "You'll be hearing from us."

Same question to the CMA. Same answer. Same result.

Now it's the lawyer's turn. "What's 2 + 2"?

Lawyer gets up, shut's the office door, pulls the shade over the office window, puts his hands on the edge of the desk, leans over and says to the devil, "What do you want it to be?"

He got the job.

It's got to be true, I heard it from a lawyer in a lawyer's office.

They hate them even when they need one - because the lawyers, including the elevated ones in black robes, have manipulated the laws and the "justice" system to make it their own dollar tree.

Lawyers don't bleed doctors, jury's do - based on facts after both sides have presented their cases. 83,000 deaths a year from medical mistakes alone; more than all the vehicle deaths in the country.

Of course, lawyers kick out all the illegal aliens in the country and prosecute all the crimes too.

Bob bet Woodsie-Boy will win another major...



nyuk nyuk nyuk....

Deerstalker and CCCC are dang right!

the only time you need one, is when you have to do battle with someone else's attorney. After they go at it, tooth and nail in court, they slap each other on the back, and go off arm in arm for a cold one, or to play a round of golf with the judge.

Yes - AFTER the judge/lawyer and the defense and prosecuting lawyers decide how much, and what quality, evidence the jury actually hears!

If you think you can make a good case for the legal "profession" (in general) on this forum, you are whistling in the graveyard. Too many smart guys here know too much about what the lawyers have done to pollute this once great system - the way lawyers now control and milk it to their own advantages. Yes, some of us know fine people who are reputable and very skilled attorneys, but those seem rare. The bulk of the "system" is rotten to the core. Do you have any convincing evidence to the contrary?

WOW! All this time I thought I was simply helping folks,WHO CALLED ME,get through some of the most difficult times of their lives.

Which reminds me.

A friend of mine has a Yorkie that bit me. Can you sue them for me or would that be a conflict of interest?

I feel certain you made good on the delivery of being simple; you're as ingenuous as they come.


If your attorney falls overboard while fishing, how do you save him from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

You are not delusional and, most likely, you are one of the good people in that arena. If so, certainly something of which to be proud.

However, such work ordinarily is not "simply" helping a person, even when they call you. If they are involved in almost any legal matter of consequence, the system is structured so that they have to CALL A LAWYER in order to deal with the inevitabilities of the system owned by lawyers.

No doubt you may help them get through some of the most difficult times of their lives, and that is a good thing. However, many of those life difficulties are increased, and even caused, by the legal system and its owners.

You'd be one of the good lawyers.

Just like cops, lots of good ones and a few bad apples. Our atty was expensive and worth every dime. When my wife was single with 3 kids & working 2 jobs, he did a lot of free work for her. Our trust was his last project and the most complicated he'd ever done, he billed us less than half what it should have been.

I'd walk thru fire for that guy.

our estate attorney is a good guy

and I know several other great guys that practice(d) law


and Bob would be a great guy if not for the LPE gig.


course think of all the loot it saved me with my estate attorney?

after my LPE bets, we had a lot less estate


uh thanks I guess Bob (oh and don't think about billing me for that!)

You think he won't?