,..some crazy street person wearin' a hat with a pom-pom on top has been runnin' up and dry humpin' women walkin' down the street.

They had a thing about it on the news.

,...set the wife off. (she's goin' nuts from cabin fever on account of the snow)

,...said she was gonna take the snow shovel and go trollin' fer him,...and when he jumped up and tried to hump her,..she was gonna bash his head in with it.

Then they had some guy on the national news,...up in Michigan,... who was lookin' fer people to do that jihad stuff with him own facebook.

She wants to bash his head in with a snow shovel too,...said his beard looks like a cat's ass,....that he needed his head beat in with the snow shovel,..

I'm just here at the computer and she's in there watchin' the news and starts hollerin' out chit,...wantin' ta thump some bastard in the head,...Islamic radical,...schizo dry humper,...doan mean chit to her,..as long as the snow shovel gets some action.

I'm just settin' in here bein' quiet,...ain't gonna hump at nuthin' 'till the sun shines.

This winter has been a bitch.

hide the shovel fer yer own well being...

Don't piss her off . She might use that shovel on you!

That right there is funny. Since she can't reach me with the shovel.

I ain't gonna do chit.

I'm mixin Stoli,..Kahluah, and Baily's Irish Creme in a glass with some ice.

Occasionally, I lean over,..loook in the livin' room and ask, "Da fug you goin own about?!"

,...just to let her know I ain't skeered,....yanno?

She's kinda calmed down,...but it'll be Tuesday before we hit 50 degrees.

I might sleep on my old futon 'till then.

She's a good girl,...but she's got her fugged up stuff like we all do.

I ain't up ta takin' a snow shovel in the head because it's cold outside and some fugger in a goofy hat is dry humpin' women over in Bell Court.

We'll get alla this chit worked out once it gets warm,...but until then I gotta protect my damn noggin.

B,

Rolling in laughter here. Thanks for the pick me up!

Maybe gitcher seff a helmutt o sum kind.

"Oh this ol' thing? Not to worry Peach, a prepper at heart is all. Carry on love."

Bristoe
I have a spare Bike helmet I can loam you. Cheers NC

Best you keep us apprised of the situation as it develops, so we know you aren't wrapped up in tarpaulin under a snowbank somewhere,head all stoved in by a snow shovel..

It weren't me, honest it weren't.

A little Yankee advice fer ya, get that fuggin' shovel away from her, either that or sleep with one eye open.

Hey Bristoe how did the deal withe your wife's co-worker come out?

Wimmens are funny when they get fired up over something, tends to make em look HOT too.

I'd put a big pom-pom on my head too to cushion it if crazy women kept trying to bash my head in with snow shovels.

If you were in Minnesota I'd suggest you pacify her with ketchup. Kentucky, I don't know. Maybe barbecue sauce?? A little spicier.

Hide the shovel in the roll-out. She'll never look there.

or do as suggested and don a helmet then hump away...

My subdivision could use someone like her. Crazy people, snow,
more crazy people, more snow. Anywho, can I borrow her shovel?

We could use some new blood on the Campfire. Sounds like she'd fit right in.

Bristoe,
That's some funny schit. She sounds like a keeper.
Old GF got like that sometimes. Sometimes felt like I needed to put an open palm straightarm on her forehead to keep her from windmillin' me.
I like a spirited woman..

Let me know if she's into doing some contracting. I may need her expertise down here from time to time. Just to get her out of the snow, you know.

Perspective is all. We had people acting like that up here above the Arctic Circle

Thank God it finally started snowing and blowing. Those withdrawal symptoms just were not pretty....

Has she gone down to the Sheriff's office yet to pick up a permit to carry a concealed shovel?

Revolving or semi automatic shovel?

Did she go all out and get a tactical shovel?

Give it a coulpe weeks and Timney will have a handel out for that......

I would have told her while she was out looking for the mad humper, as long as she's got that shovel in her hand, get on that sidewalk.

and buy her a bat.

Take that shovel away and get her a snow blower. They're a lot harder to swing at head height!