Thinking I'll run for president. Simple platform actually.

1. Illegal immigration ends the day I take the oath of office.
2. Day 2; Dept of the Interior is dissolved
3. Day 3; National Park Service dissolved. All existing park lands turned over to states
4. Day 4; Dept of State defunded. We will no longer negotiate. If you screw with our national interests we will screw you back. Attack us directly or by proxy and we will nuke you.
5. Day 5; federal funding assistance for welfare is terminated.
6. Day 6. Federal subsidies to all economic activities terminate
7. Day 7; I go fishing
8. Day 8. The F35 program is cancelled. A10s, B2, upgraded F15/14/16 production begins. Battleship production resumes.
9. ...I'll be back. Tomorrow. Who wants to be SecDef? There will be no VP or SecState. We will withdraw from the UN and force its relocation elsewhere.

You got my vote!

I will not vote for you. You have left out some vital things that need changing. You must be a liberal or you would have included these;

A. Eliminate the EPA
B. Eliminate the Dept. of Education
C. Eliminate the IRS
D. Impose a flat tax of 10% of gross earnings of individuals
E. Eliminate the BATFE
F. Enable Federal Agency Heads to fire employees on the spot
G. Eliminate Foreign Aid for anything other than humanitarian needs such as food, disaster relief, etc.
H. Disband DHS into its former component agencies
I. Seal the Borders.
J. Start immediate criminal investigations into treason charges against the current administration.

I'll think of more later, but this is a start.

Ed

I'd almost vote for you accept for one thing. That avatar you've had forever with the picture of John McCain makes me wonder who you have ties to.

Ed, dammit, I said I'd be back. My shootin' eye is impaired for a few more days.

A. Eliminate the EPA No. Industry needs at least one scapegoat.
B. Eliminate the Dept. of Education Yes, of kourse
C. Eliminate the IRS Eliminate? No, execute more than likely.
D. Impose a flat tax of 10% of gross earnings of individuals and corporations. Corporations are the same as people under the law.
E. Eliminate the BATFE See Item C amendment
F. Enable Federal Agency Heads to fire employees on the spot Yes.
G. Eliminate Foreign Aid for anything other than humanitarian needs such as food, disaster relief, etc.
H. Disband DHS into its former component agencies OK, but TSA goes with it.
I. Seal the Borders. Think I covered that already. For the record, all illegals will be transported to Novassa Island. Their home countries can pick them up if so inclined.

J. Start immediate criminal investigations into treason charges against the current administration. That process is too slow. My freind Roy Bean will handle those proceedings.

You're sounding a little liberal. Think tall horses and short ropes. There could be a future for you in my administration.

That's not Johnny. Notice the ears please.

I would like to be your Attorney General Please. I would :

1. Bring back the death penalty. In a big way.

2. Eliminate overcrowding in the prisons.

3. Not conduct investigations into every black man that is shot during the commission of a crime.

4.Not have sex with Marilyn Monroe.

You're probably hired.

Do you think recidivist behavior is grounds for death by bunga-bunga?

There will be no recidivism.

Bless you. YOU'RE HIRED!!!

I nominate Evil Twin for Secretary of Defense! Bwaaaahahahahaaaaaa!

Just don't give him the Red Button!



Nuclear Winter gets pretty cold, I'm told....

Bring all of our troops home and use them to secure OUR borders for a change.

Only LEGAL immigrants are allowed in this country.

Eliminate the laws allowing anchor babies to receive US citizenship.

Just a start.....

Great list.

Of course all I need do is run as a Democrat, call anyone opposing me a racist, then see who wins.

If you change the name of the Department back to the "War Department", well I'll be your Huckleberry,

I like your ideas Dan, I'm pretty sure I'll vote for you but need a answer to this question first......

What will you do about The top heaviness of Guam?

Oh yeah, you should approach Clark about being your press secretary.

War Department it is. ET is SecDef, Hawk is Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

Carl Rove is a putz...my Chief of Staff will be a direct descendant of Atilla.

First idiot that pulls the race card on me will have his head surgically implanted in Hillary's ass.

I need some campaign slogans. How about "Screw liberals! It's a dirty job but someone has to do it!"

Then when you win immediately forget your promises and commence with above lists.

I'd vote for ya but am already voting for the disturbed grinning goat.

TWICE!

Oh, and don't forget the "non biased" press.

GFY. The goat is my alter ego. See the NBTE.

I will make all journalists wear shock collars.

A minor correction

Shock belts work mo better. Knocks you on your ass and spasms sphincters. Plus, they can be hidden behind the desk that "journalists" sit behind and under loose clothing. Don't want to be a fashion nazi, you know.

Ed

Take the vote away from them womens and you got my vote.

Don't want to spend the money on horses, wranglers, or ropes. Have you priced a good lariat recently?

$0.50 for a cartridge will suffice. I'll think about the opportunity. I'd settle for head of DOJ.

Ed

Clark could do well there. We're talking something like cider press, right?

This top heaviness thing on Guam is urban legend. I recall the source and will turn that over to the Poobah of Justice.

Thanks,

BD

Wimmen only get to vote after they have served the Armef Forces.

Maybe I should rephrase that. Or not.

VOTE FOR THE BARBARIAN IN 2016!!!

My SIL retired from the Orange County Sheriff's office not long ago. She was responsible for transport and discipline of prisoners in an around court proceedings. Well versed in shock belts she is. Says they can make any man pizz his pants. Little waif of an Irish lass she is with not a single bruise or scar.

Excellent idea, consider it done.

I got to go sharpen the filet knife, BRB.

I used to work with the fellow who invented them. When he told the story about the first human trials (his brother volunteered ) I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

I'm a big believer in them.

Ed

Uncle Atilla was way too easy going, I don't share his kindly, loving nature. Sign me up!

A Warrant Officer as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs?

There wont be a yes-man at the table. Straight answers, no BS and no political considerations.

Let it be written and it shall be done.

Hell,,, I'd vote for you if you'd just do three simple things.

Close the fuggin border.

Kick the UN the hell out of our country.

Impose term limits and do away with lifetime perks, insurance, and retirement for everyone in DC.

And by term limits I mean ONE six year term for all elected officials. Period.
And that includes you Mr. President.


Everything else is just icing on the cake. And I like icing,,,, and cake.

Did I mention, as your Attorney General I would:

1. Abolish the Electoral College.

2. Outlaw voting by anyone who isn't actively employed.

3.Make english the only official language.

4. Eliminate campaign 'contributions'.

5. Eliminate Welfare.

6. Monitor Social Security so that only those who put in... get out, and manage it like a finical account... so it does provide security.

7. Immediately rescind the Affordable Care Act, and prosecute its creators.



More later...

Can I apply for the position of chief executioner? I have an abundance of .22LR and like to travel!

Declare California a foreign country and let them rot for ten years. Allow them back after their population normalizes.

Getting rid of the Electoral College is not a good idea. If we'd not had it, Al Gore would have been president after Clinton.

America is Great! Great ideas keep it that way. Keep 'em coming lads, we're on a roll that will fill many history books.

Prohibit anchor babies and voting rights while receiving welfare .

Put one of those emergency phones with a blue light on a pole right in the middle, so they can call for pickup...

be humanitarian...

Kent

Make me secretary of Alaska so I can kick out all these friggin liberals wrecking my beautiful state and you got my vote.

Make me Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

Mirage, that position is only open to owners of Cat D9 or larger bulldozers. Are you qualified? BOY, I SAY BOY, ARE YOU QUALIFIED?!

Kent, I was going to put a IR imaging system, phone and blue light there to provide 24 hour target data for the water cannon and send an email to all the embassies. Does that work for you?

And a bar of soap. Cleanliness and all that....

Welfare is toast. The only anchors will be manufactured by Danforth.

A concept long overdue, don't you think? You will be the first CW10.

Thanks for your service!!

BD

I got access to a D8

Excellent! You are the new Sec. of Urban Recycling!

Do we have to warn residents before we start de-construction?

If I'm secretary of treasury I'll put Kate Upton on a 36 DD'ollar bill...

Kent

How about a balanced budget ammendment?

Go back to the gold standard over time where money has some intrinsic value besides the paper it's printed on?

All members of Congress live by the same rules, regs, retirement, programs and health system as their constituents?

National sales tax, no other form of Federal income taxes.

Self sufficiency for fossil fuels by 2020?

Declare national debt outside the US null and void?

twofish

I want to be the Secretary of Hiring Secretaries!

Mirage, uh, probably not. Mostly it depends on the nature of the urban area. As example, no notice is required in Detroit, New York City or San Francisco. It is required in sparely settled regions of the Appalachians or Ozarks. And in or around the Hi Line.

KRP, you just got a new job.

Dawg, you're hired. You have to give equal consideration to blonges, brunettes and gingers. Bluehairs are off the table.

A guillotine's initial expense is higher, but you only pay once!
Minimal maintenance is a plus.
Hand the rope to the guest of honor, and labor is minimal.

Mark

Hope you aren't talking about the foreign and corporate varieties.

With domestic low income versions off the teat we could really ramp up giving money to prop up businesses and foreign governments who are too big to fail.

I say change the Secretary of Defense position to Secretary of Offense. When we need to act, we need to go on offense. miles

Well, I misspoke earlier when referring to it as SecDef. If is now SecWar. War is fairly offensive. There is little intention on my part to get lost in minutiae, pomp and other BS. No sir, we have a lot of nukes lingering around collecting dust while our boys and girls die. That is a thing of the past. Screw with us and we will send mushrooms to you for dinner with a note that says "Welcome to the Stoneage".

That would work. miles

DD for POTUS!

Well crap, I guess I was thinking too small.

I agree with Ed, how can you run on such a half-azzed platform?

Are you looking for a job at the Dept of Redundancy?

That would be the Department of Redundancy Department.

All but the Electoral College.

It was set up to give states like WY and MT a say. Without that set up, elections would be popular vote and the big Dem controlled, vote the dead, vote early/vote often, population centers would rule more than they currently do.

Campaign contributions go both ways...

You're on the right track...

DF

You are quite right you are.

lol

I wanna be head of the Immigration Department.








No one gets in, and only riff-raff (D's) get out. And THEY have to STAY out. Add RINOS to them, come to think of it.

Would you make exceptions for hawt Italian, Swedish and French wimmen?

Which is every day and not just outside the USA either. We need more military involvement on US soil and more militant police to keep us safe from civilian threats.

Who wants to be Secretary of Practical Jokes?

'Flave?