1. Lie
2. Be honest.
3. Not talking to them.
4. Talking to them too much.
5. Not showing any emotion.
6. Showing too much emotion.
7. Breathing.

Anything!

I was gonna add breathing to the list, but i see I don't need to...


Even my liberal sister had an epiphany about this not long ago. I was so proud of her. She said " if it weren't for sex, men would have nothing to do with women, and if it weren't for children, women would have nothing to do with men"



True Words.

Yep. My first thought. If youre breathing, youre doing it wrong.

Failing to walk on water has been my downfall before.....

The dreaded "Honey, can you rub my back"...

I'm pretty sure women want sex as much or more than men, but they have the luxury of pretending they don't, as its generally pretty readily available to them. Women want you to want them, and assume that you do. If you don't, and they realize that, it seems to mess with their heads pretty good and they get quite irate.

If you look at the general behavior of women, it pretty closely mimics the behavior of anyone who's been given too much power and almost zero accountability. I'm not convinced they are as complex as we've been led to believe.

One thing I'm quite sure of, the vast majority of women care most if you think they are attractive. As long as you find them attractive, they don't mind if you think they are also a class A bitch. If you find them unattractive but a wonderful person, they would rather have it the other way around.

sounds bout right......run across a couple women with sex on the brain as much as me.....they are fun

Attractive, unattractive...
All cats are grey in the dark.

8. Making suggestions
9. Solving problems

fart

[bleep] I won't sleep tonight after that image....

Married women can't stand to see their husband doing nothing(rest/relax). Soon as he hits the chair or couch the wife starts with the list of things she wants done. Seen a comedian do a bit on this, so true.

Question: Is it true that married men live a lot longer???



Answer: No, it just feels that way.

If a man is alone in the woods and says something...

Is he still wrong?

My dad is one of the hardest working men I've ever met. If he wasn't pulling extra shifts for overtime, he was probably out back cutting, splitting and stacking firewood.

On the rare occasion that he tried to sit down on a Sunday afternoon and watch a football game, my mom would invariably choose that time to haul out the vacuum cleaner and drown out the game.

I was thinking "Everything", but "Anything" will work.

By the very fact that he is a man, yes.

"The Warden' said that breathing was the first thought in her mind!

Plus forty leben.

Seems I am a lucky pheouk.

Me too. What do these guys do to attract those women?

My wife wakes me up a few times every month with the complaint "Your Breathing!" I kid you not!

It REALLY upsets them when you start "breathing" out of both ends.

Ya got me.

Or let it be known that you heard HER fart. They don't consider it polite. Grading it worsens the situation.

for all the other prooblems never ran into this stuff.....never could figure out the once a month getting punched cause she woke up pissed bout something i had done in HER dream the new one seems level headed so far.....lil crazy like all women are but not to bad at all....and NO fuggin migraines this go around

NOT TRUE ..... somebody has got to fix supper

Everyone knows that women don't fart... They just have dogs that do.

I take my girlfriend out to eat and then dancing every Saturday night. One or two days later she starts texting me that she saw me looking at some younger women on the dance floor. Then she says I really want a younger woman. All guys do etc. Sheesh.

Solid gold - xxclaro = Sigmund Freud of the 21st century

We (the wife and I) call that "blowing kisses". We both do it frequently enough.....

When a women starts the 'it's your fault that I'm angry because everything you do is wrong' gambit you can be sure that she has a plan B all lined up and probably a plan C too just in case.

Just as I was getting cynical enough to understand the whys and hows that changelings operate my wife handed me a book opened to the chapter called '100 things a man can do do make a woman happy' IIRC. Do the laundry, cook dinner, etc. When I got to # 60 or so I asked her if there was a chapter on '100 things a woman can do for the man' and she said "No there isn't and you're missing the point." I handed the book back to and said "I think I just got the point." Later I found out that there was a chapter like the one I asked about but she didn't want me to know about it.

When a woman consistently chooses actions that counter your interest she isn't in love, well not with you anyway.

Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?


A: Because they can't stand to see a man having a good time.

The most upsetting thing a man can do is relax.

Go sit down and relax in front of a woman, they will try to wreck it.

Kinda goes along with my previous post.....

Women's faults are many but men have just two- everything they say and everything they do...

Absolutely the quote of the century on this message board.

I always thought it funny that my wife never wanted children and was specific about that. Guess she isn't from this big old common mold most must come from.

Me three, and I haven't a clue.

Yep. Gotta have drama. Their insecurities, coupled by their pressing need to have YOU feel insecurities, causes this. One thing a woman cannnot stand - is peace and harmony.

Your best bet is to simply ignore the text - every time she texts that crap, ignore it. When questioned just say "I never recieved that text"

Drives 'em mad.

Mine hates drama. Calls me a drama queen at times....

That is good to hear about her....not so good to hear about you......

Inability to read minds. Who would have thought

And your a better man for admitting this publicly

Peeing anywhere they want to.

And not having a shirt on, at ALL TIMES, unless in bed........

xxclaro's post reminds me of this-

[video:youtube]https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=pBz0BTb83H8[/video]

Sums it up pretty well..

Letting the eyebrows and ear hairs grow out

Well,...one of the *main* things that men are doing that makes women mad, is that they're causing those feminist harpies to live a life of spinsterhood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo#t=81

They really hate it when you screw a chick half their age. Weird.

Hey man, you gots a new woman?!


Anyone I might possibly know, WP girl?



The only thing I do to piss off my wife is bring dirty(chitty) clothes/boots into the house. She cleans and I don't so I happily oblige and try not to be too messy when I come home from work.

She's actually more even tempered than I am.

no not a local, originally from Havre but been in Helena a fair while....

Then I wouldn't know her.


Thought maybe you hooked up with a good lookin' Indian woman.

If it weren't for the ***** there would be a bounty on 'em.
If it weren't for the ***** we would hunt them down with baseball bats.

Wife and I were having a 'discussion' one time and she said that I couldnt agreed with her...

I told her, "I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong".

Wouldnt advise using that line.

I only like 3 or 4 women I've met in my life. All of them are old enuff to be my mom. Most women need to be shot between the eyes and burnt with the trash, but 50% of men need the same treatment. I almost hate everybody the same. Children make women worse, they are tolerable till kids then the aren't worth a dime.

Reminds me of this Facebook post I got the other day.

http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/610/I-Wasn-t-Treating-My-Husband-Fairly-And-It-Wasn-t-Fair

I laughed out at this one because I've said it.