Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for
some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from
the University of Georgia and I need some help.
If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana
'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years
later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and
said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck
from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side
of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front
of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and
was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back.
I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of
his pickup into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here,
'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'bout the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin'
an' movin' North.

My face is stuck from laughing !!!!!!!!!

I hate you right now.

I liked it all but the first joke. Nobody from the South uses Y'all, when talking to one person. Other than that, it was good. miles

I was taught that the plural of y'all is all y'all.

Them's good!

Gotta love Yankees trying to speak & write southern!

Once when I was traveling in Florida I stopped at a gas station/convenience store to ask for directions to a local park. I went up to the young lady behind the counter and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to Wekiva Springs?" She gave me this blank stare and said, "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?" It took her longer to say that one word then it did for me to ask my entire question. I just looked back at that blank stare and said, "Uh, never mind." When I got back in the car my wife asked, "Did you get the directions?" I told her, "Nope." She says, "Why not!" I told her of the exchange and added, "I don't think we have enough time."

True story.

I fail to see the humor above...I just read and nodded my head in agreement.

My sentiments exactly.

Very good. Enjoyed this post. Thanks

Word

See, you talked too fast. miles

YEP!:)

I especially liked the Georga and TN jokes..

Cooper57M. I'm from the south and I still get surprised. Just recently we were discussing my mother moving to an assisted living facility with the staff.. We asked if there were any special items she needed and the occupational therapist spoke up and said "she will needs share chair" I had to ask what a share chair was and she said " you know for when she gets up and takes her share in the morning". I then realized she was saying shower.

I especially liked the Georga and TN jokes..

Cooper57M. I'm from the south and I still get surprised. Just recently we were discussing my mother moving to an assisted living facility with the staff.. We asked if there were any special items she needed and the occupational therapist spoke up and said "she will needs share chair" I had to ask what a share chair was and she said " you know for when she gets up and takes her share in the morning". I hen realized she was saying shower.

The plural of y'all is you' ns

I liked them all but the one about Louisiana is incorrect. We're not 20 years behind, we're 50 years behind. And that's a good thing.

And no 'Bama or Auburn jokes ok. Roll Tide(Pronounced "Roll Tahd" for those of y'all nonSouthern.)

Best 'thang' bout livin in Louisiana is that it don't go nowhere!!

If you love NY, take I-95N.

Actually I prefer to take Rt 81 & Rt 77.

The tennessee joke was a good one, but even hillbillies make fun of bigger hillbillies that say ID. (eyedee)

And of course southerners have a sense of humor, every one I know has one. Only problem is its different than other parts of the country, our sense of humor often offends people when that wasn't our intention. very sarcastic in a funny way. Think of Bill Engval or how ever you spell his last name damit.

We make fun of que ers a lot.

There sure seem to be plenty of folks who seem to be working at getting their tongues, lips, and teeth around plain old English words working in the North however. Mostly they’re good folks, but for the liberal ones who want to screw things up royally. I reckon I may move a bit east in retirement (can’t really go west anyway), and I sure ain’t moving south.

Back in the 80’s while still in school, had a NJ friend that went with me to my Granny’s house in the mountains of TN. When we stopped fer gas on the way up this one particular windy mountain road, I advised him to stay in the car, but he didn’t listen. It was mid-January, long before Global Climate Change (yuk-yuk-yuk……….), and when he got out to speak with the man pumping gas. Friend: “Cold enough for youse-guys?” Station owner stared at him for a long moment and replied, “Dun’t know the temp-uh-cher sonny, but the snot done froze in my noze.” My bud got in without another word said. We rode about 10 miles before he finally said “You were right.”

I once worked for a company that had relocated from the city of Boston to Clinton, SC (population at that time about 8K, tops). The owner said that not knowing any better, he and his wife took their Saturday night to go grocery shopping, and the only place to do that locally was Wal-Mart. While standing in line, these two VERY country gals were talking in front of them. Girl 1: “Hey, is you goin’ to the Sivver-War Re-in-ack-mint tomorroah?” Girl 2: “Nawt. I reckon we just gonna drink beer. Hey, wut wuz that Silver-War about anyway?” Gal 1: Dun’t you know nuttin’? That’s when all thim Dang Yankees came down here to take our Silver!”

Both are true stories

Southerners have a great sense of humor, once you explain the joke to them...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1Iw-GwoQMI&feature=youtu.be

What?
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I'm really disappointed there wasn't an Alabama reference/example. I feel left out...

Idahoans have an even better sense of humor, once they get the potato (tater in the south) outta their butts

We have a columnist in the local paper who ran a whole column about how we needed more potato jokes. Point being that for decades Idaho was about the least known state in the Union. If anybody did know anything about Idaho (not Iowa) it was something about potatoes.

Then a bunch of big mouth magazines started running stories about what a great place to live it was. How there was so little crime, so much public land to enjoy and what a great place it was to raise a family that a whole lot of folks started moving here. They told their friends what a great place it was and their friends moved here, and suddenly you got shopping malls and subdivisions in places that used to have terrific pheasant hunting.

We really need more potato jokes so people will think "Idaho?" and just laugh. And not even think of moving here.

So if you know any good potato jokes, we'd all really appreciate it if you could spread them around.

Sounds like what happened to you happened to us about 20 years ago

Good to see you have a sense of humor, no need to tell me anything about where the tater is