Dear president Ø

Today, I will take my Grandkids to the classic farm and tractor show. We will watch old steam engines, old tractors, a sorghum press in action, and a presentation on herding dogs.

We will eat sugary and deep fried foods.

Later, I will rotisserie three chickens, cook cob corn on a grill, and enjoy these as well as the potato salad and whatever desert my wife creates with the black berries she picked this morning.

I will drink spooty dark beer, and watch fireworks from my back yard.

You are still a dick.


Happy 4th of July.

Jeff C.

Amen.

Fixed.

elkhunternm,

I think that your changes are good with the exception that you seem to be excessively hard on real azzholes by including him.

And a 'tip of the hat' to you sir!!

RWE, well said.

Dear Mr. President:

To celebrate the 4th of July and cultrural diversity, we are having Fried chicken and watermelon tonite. ( Honest...)

Oh, and I put the Stars and Bars decal on my car to celebrate the tiny little piece of independence we have left...

GFY


Love, Poobs

Have you let your city officials know how you feel about the Confederate memorial that 4-6 dickbrains have whined about?

I would if I had one iota of faith in my city office ails..



I don't.

I'll have to put in my book to cry for the confederates some day.

Why don't you do that.

As soon as one asks you to.

I'll drink to that!

I love the "empty set" emblem for dingleBarry's little o.

So fitting.

Glad to hear it.
Just don't let it take time away from you beatin off.

#sand

I am suckling the teat of opulence.

Sticky toffee beer and honey ginger rotisseried chicken with corn bread jalepenos.

And now, the ice cream.

My letter would have started, "Hey, azzhole-in-chief!"

We're more polite here in the south.

Bless your heart.

Did this dumb old Swede get that right?

John

Bless your little heart

Damn, fairly close though!

John

The Swede is correct, as is Oldelkhunter; the difference is to what degree the speaker wants to be condescending.

Ah, the subtleties of the language in the South!

Let me guess -- adding "little" is more condescending, right?

I have to note that when I went to North Carolina to hunt swans, I was treated with fantastic Southern hospitality -- especially after they found out that I was not a "DamnYankee".

I also learned that "DamnYankee" is one word.

John

and "Hell" has 3 syllables.

Whoever thought it was more than one?

Correct, and correct.

There are:

"Northerners" - those poor souls that were regrettably born north of the Line through no fault of their own, but realize the error of their ways and have appropriately adopted the proper style of life in the South.

"Yankees" - those born north of the line that stay there or on brief occasion travel to the South, only to return north quickly and during their respite keep their erroneous opinions to themselves.

"damnyankees" - those born north of the line that come down on more frequent occasions and continually bitch about how much better life is in the South, overstaying their welcome within minutes and by many days/weeks.

"Carpetbaggers" - a particularly odious strain of damnyankees that MOVE South and try to turn our better way of life into the schithole of Yankee oppression from which they properly fled but haven't the intelligence or honesty to realize that where they came from sucked and they ought to be thankful to be where life is good.

Basically, a Carpetbagger is a damnyankee that ought to be acting like a northerner but ain't smart enough or honest enough to have figured that out. Carpetbaggers generally go into politics...

Dear Unrepentant Narcissistic Socialist Liar,

We spent the fourth of July weekend at the Oregon coast with family and thousands of other patriotic Americans. Extraordinary people up and down the beach bbq'd, swam in the ocean, had huge bonfires, and treated each other kindly and with respect. There was a 2 1/2 hour fireworks display (mostly illegal thanks to ridiculous laws put in place by power hungry people thinking they know what's best for everyone else) that made me really appreciate the star spangled banner, our country, and our American military heroes like my dad like never before. I envisioned exploding bombs in battle and the fighting it took to make and keep our country free from people just like you.

My father's generation wasn't afraid to see things for what they really were, and they never would have accepted you as President of this great country. I fear too many naive people and resident foreigners have lost sight of the danger you bring to America for them and their children.

Nevertheless, I am so thankful to have such an amazing country to live and bring family up in, to spite your best efforts to destroy it. You must be a very bitter and short-sighted man to not be able to appreciate how great true American patriots are.

I know you hold a powerful position to effect damage to our great country, but I believe you have no idea the depth of American patriotism in the souls of the people outside of your liberal socialist circle. You could chain us all up, shove us in a dark hole, and deprive us of food, and we'd still find a way to treat each other kindly and with respect. I no longer doubt you'd like nothing more than to do just that to each and every one of us.

You can import foreigners, destroy our economy, take our land, export our jobs, and even take our lives, but you'll never convert us to believe in your communist ideology.

We know in our souls what being an American really means, even when we can't express it, we live it every day. And we won't apologize for creating the greatest society in the world to you or any other race-baiting POS with authority. While you may want to destroy what you fear and don't understand, you can never succeed in changing what makes a true American.

You see, even though you are fervently trying to kill what true Americans hold dear, we don't wish you any harm. (Well, ok, I lied about that part). We just know how misguided you are from poor parenting by that slut of a mother and socialist prick of a father.

So in true American spirit, we try to play by the rules and let you run your time out, hoping for the best for our country to spite your efforts to kill it. In the meantime, you have galvanized Americans to prayer that some unforeseen but Almighty Ordained disaster may befall your presidency. On the surface maybe, it appears to run against our American upbringing, to hope for "our" own President's leadership demise. But, you see, our love for America runs much deeper than any political title.

We are true Americans, and you are not one of us, and as such, are not welcome in our country.

Signed,
One of many

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