Dear Friends,
I am sorry that I have not been very responsive lately to your E-mails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apathetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF).
For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person's entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF.
Symptoms include: severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists; having uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly Factor; loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice; extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people; and…bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host.
Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself.
If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of 2016.
I am sorry that I have not been very responsive lately to your E-mails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apathetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF).
For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person's entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF.
Symptoms include: severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists; having uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly Factor; loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice; extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people; and…bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host.
Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself.
If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of 2016.