about 5 months ago wife and i took in a homeless youngster that was working for me in construction. at first things were fine, he swept floors, mopped, did laundry and washed dishes. wife thought he was a god send.
then he started smoking, then smoking pot, and drinking beer for hours after work and showing up about bed time for us.
Loud, argued about everything and started talking about folks with a contract on him. came to a head last night when my wife said he frightened her. she didn't know i had a loaded 12 gauge laying along side the bed every night.
i can and have put up with borderline's and out right whack jobs,(i am on here right?) but you scare my girl and the door shuts in your face.
we had a come to Jesus talk and he coped an attitude so that sealed it.
he just went down the road.
the db shotgun is still by the bed.
i will give the shirt off my back to the needy but there comes a point when it becomes abuse. won't pass that point.
think i will stick to Dogs as house guests from now on.
Oh yeah. we have 4 empty bedrooms so it seemed a waste not to use one.
think i will convert them to collection rooms. anybody have gun collections to sell? lol

You gave him a chance.....then you learned why he was homeless. You tried. That's all you can do. Can't throw them pearls before swine. It don't work.

Bless your heart but No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Most of the "needy" today need a work ethic and basic morals, not one more hand out or excuse for why they are in the state they are in.

Great effort. You can try and have. The ones I tried to help were on Meth and I did not know anything about he drug. Sure learned quickly, they would say anything and still get screwed up and not show up to work for a few days. Always a story.

deerstalker;
Good evening to you sir and may I say bless you for trying to set the young man on a right course in life.

You did the right thing by drawing a boundary and then making him accountable for his actions - in my opinion and experience.

Hopefully you don't ever need to use the DB, but again kudos for being a careful husband.

All the best to you all for the remainder of the summer sir.

Dwayne

he was a hard worker but the mental problems couldn't stay hidden.
think i may get some sleep for the first time in 3 months.

maybe i need my head looked at for letting it go so long.
just trying to practice my Christian beliefs.

That's tough. Your intentions were hopeful and it didn't work out. Extending kindness and compassion should never be regretted. It's natural to be disappointed.

Unfortunately, having been down that road twice, both times when I was single, and similar situations a time or two otherwise, I've come to the place where my family is first, and they are the only ones that receive the blessing of the house I provide. Too risky to open yourself up to unstable people. You've worked too hard NOT to be one yourself, so protect what you've worked for, including family.

Related, the Bible teaches us to "Protect your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Goes along with casting pearls before swine. There's a reason we're to remain guarded and protect ourselves.

He knows your schedule and when you come and go.

He knows more than he should know about your home and it's contents.

Expect him to visit....but not while you are in town.

I hate to state the obvious but if you don't have a wireless dvr camera system your upcoming burglary will go without much evidence

Sadly good advice

Doing the right thing isn't always the easy thing

Congrats to you for doing the right thing every step of the way in this situation

Now continue to do the right thing and take teds advice please

Homelessness these days is almost never a "financial" issue. The average person will get a job or get gov assistance and get a place within a month.

Virtually all homelessness is either due to a mental issue (severe bipolar or schizophrenia) or substance abuse.

Previous poster is right. Go get yourself a simplisafe alarm system, at a minimum, and a couple of cheap wifi motion cameras.

A "normal" person would never come back, but a person with mental and substance abuse issues WILL.....

this is of a small concern, but as i don't leave the place much and there is only one way in and out i am not worried much about things. dvr is in place and i have a rider to cover my firearms which most homeowner policies do not cover, so i am only concerned about my wife's welfare. i don't expect him to stay in the area long.

Wouldn't hurt to give him some incentive to leave the area. Could be as simple as a bus ticket to San Francisco, so he could be among his own.

Been down that road twice, and found that people make their own trouble. Parasites, not wanting any rules, and will not change. They gained, I lost.

I know a fellow that let a man, wife, and small kids move in with him while the fellow looked for a job. Wife was nuts and the fellow knew that, before letting them move in, but he felt sorry for the kids.

Wife did something bad wrong (drugs, I think) and they had come to Jesus meeting, but the wife said it wouldnt happen again.

Two weeks later same thing happened and the fellow called the cops and had them evicted, from his house, that he lived in.

Lady said he hit her and filed a lawsuit. Fellow had to go to court 5 or 6 times before the charges were finally dropped, for lack of evidence.

What benchman said about parasites.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Change your door locks.

I advise you stop doing that.





Dave

This is how documentaries on serial killers usually start.





Dave

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This

You're a better man than I. God bless you and I hope he doesn't come back, but I would take precautions.

People like that scare me and make me nervous. They're very unpredictable. I love my privacy and that's why I live a little bit off the beaten path. I generally steer clear of them.

About 17 years ago, my brother a I were expanding our company and opening another location. We needed to hire a lot of guys. He had the idea of hiring from this halfway house. They were mainly guys getting released from jail for drug convictions. Bad move! Out of 5 guys, only one was worth a schit and he quit to go to work as a counselor for the halfway house he came from. They ended up falling off of the wagon and went back to doing crack and then stole from us. One guy even came back a bunch of times to harass us and even called my house a few times in the middle of the night. A girl that worked for me had befriended him while he worked here. After he left, he broke into her house and stole her car.

Never again!

Good for you for practicing your faith, ds... too few folks do that. And I'm in agreement with the others who say you did right by setting some firm boundaries yesterday.

But if I may say so, you might want to consider putting those boundaries in place at the outset next time you "take in a stray." I have learned this same lesson the hard way, but it's the ONLY way to keep your home safe and sane, especially when it's a male houseguest and your wife/kids are necessarily at some degree of risk.

My rules for houseguests are simple:

1) Set the duration of the stay in advance. For example, this last guy of yours I'd tell him he was welcome to stay for 10-14 days, or until his first paycheck. Then he would have to get out of the house. Period.

2) Set the house rules in advance: no booze, no drugs, and no smoking except in a pre-designated area. Moreover, no warnings; if he violates the rule ONCE he's out. (I didn't hold to this for my ex-wife's 20-y.o. son, who smoked everywhere despite my rules against, and when I didn't enforce the rule the first time he just took that as license to do whatever the fawk he wanted, including smoking pot on the premises when only his mom was home). DO NOT RELENT on your rules!

3) Be armed at ALL TIMES. A shotgun under the bed will do you know good if your "guest" goes berserk when you and he are in the kitchen. I know from personal experience, and others have told me the same, that the one time you don't have your pistol on you is the time that a situation requiring a pistol will come up. In my case, it was in a convenience store... I was cutting my grass, mower ran out of gas, so I rushed over to fill my gas cans and didn't pick up my pistol as I normally would do... paid cash for the gas, and as I turned to leave a mope I'd helped arrest a year before walked in, saw me, and initiated an assault.... lucky for me, a fellow officer pulled in seconds later and was able to tase the bastard, otherwise I'm confident he'd have seriously injured me, if not killed me. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR PISTOL.)

Three simple rules. Easy to follow, and it will make your life a whole lot easier.

My encounters with vagrants and the homeless go like this:


Them: "I am down on my luck."

Me: "I DGAF."




Dave

You spend a whole lot more breath and verbiage on them than I do.

My encounters with vagrants and the homeless go like this:


Them: "I am down on my luck."

Me: "I was too. Do what I did. Get a fricken job"

I'm compassionate. You're a mean-head.




Clark

I should be more like you.

Thankfully my wife would stick a knife in my ribs whilst I slept if I brought home a homeless guy to stay.

deerstalker,

Take tedthorn's advice, and the advice to change all your locks. Oh, and here's my advice:

1) stop being a schmo.
2) when you put your pants on, put your pistol on.

Would expect no less from you Dave. Though i think your bark is worse than your bark is worse than your bite.

I'm a nice person.

Just not that nice.




Dave

And I haven't bitten anybody in weeks.





Clark

Yeah, they are that way for a reason....

There was a campfire member here that turned out to be like that...sad but what can ya do...

Kudos on trying to help out Deerstalker.

damn! you are getting quite domesticated ain't you!
restraint, thats what we love about you!

don't quite know what a schmo is , but i am who i am.
the ankle holster goes on before the pants, then the belt holster. then the shot gun/ rifle/ ar goes over the shoulder.
but i am NOT paranoid! lol

Paranoid no, but I bet you list to one side.

the grenades do weigh a little.

sheesh now the woman wants me to take over washing the dishes! think not. fifty years and i ain't about to take on that chore.

Good on ya, DS.
You gave him 4 months, three weeks and about six days more than our home would have.
We like to help in emergencies, but we also know human nature for what it is 98% of the time: opportunistic.

Amen. You beat me to it.

my brother went through the same thing with a childhood friend of ours a few years ago. let him live in the garage, fed him, took him to church, gave him money to help out around the house and even tracked down jobs for him which he never pursued. bottom line was he was a leech and got angry when his host wasn't feeding him. last we heard was he was in a shelter and boozing and drugging.

you tried to do the right thing. good for you. but some people are just lost causes. you did the right thing both times. he comes sneaking back around, tell him you'll blow his fuggen brains out and and then call the cops and let them know he is not welcome.

Many years ago when I worked for a large beverage company one of my supervisors allowed his BIL to move in with him and his wife.
Shortly after that he went out of his way to get him a job with us. First week at job another supervisor found him passed out drunk inside the cooler of a convenience store. He physically threw the BIL out of his house that day.

You and I differ, no one gets to be in my home at night or anywhere near my girls, certainly not someone that is not blood.

I do not give a toss if they are bleeding to death in the gutter, my girl's security comes first.

It is not hard to spot those with life experience.

Reminds me of countries letting in Muslims. I don't understand the OP or countries doing it, but I guess the PC thing to do is say 'Good going, at least you tried'

Well, we kinda kinda find ourselves in a similar, although much less scary, situation. Our 21 year old nephew is "staying" with us while he "gets his feet on the ground" after finding a job here while on a house hunting trip with his parents (my sister and BIL). They are planning to move this way after they get their current house sold. Anyway, nephew is starting to get on my nerves after 4 months. We (mostly my bride) have to jar his butt out of bed to get to his job. He is basically a slob. Has to be asked to do anything around the house and comes home on an unknown schedule. He is far from being a self-starter in any facet of his life. I could keep going on and on, but you are probably already bored with this. All in all, he is a good kid (really), I guess I'm just getting to old to be raising a youngster who could easily be my grandson.

When the time is right, he will be the last one.

Simple answer to freeloaders and lazies!! Get out don't come back until you have your own place! Then dinner is on you. Family is like fish, after three days they stink. I learned this lesson in the 60's when old friend and family wanted to stay for a week. Turned into what's for dinner and I don't much care for that food. Can you front me some gas money!! Get the fugg out azzhole. After the first time it becomes easy to say. By the way family is worse!

Leopards don't change their spots.

Knew a girl who was dating a dead beat and allowed him to move in he became attached to the couch and was verbally abusive to her for less than a week. Her brother drug him out of the apartment and beat him senseless in front of the neighbors.

And she was back to fugking him a month later?



Dave

Actually she hooked up with another loser who treated her the same.....

can't and wont. it is the only thing that separates me from being the same as the ones we are talking about.
i am not better but i have help in curbing that side of me.

at least i am not a democrat!

Also, there's a secret rule that you can't kick people out "who live" in your house without a court order.

If he can afford to buy pot and booze, he can afford his own apartment. Just something I have noticed over more than a few years.

This reminds me of the thread discussing hunting with a round in the chamber and 2legit2quits comment the only hunting buddies of his that he trusted with a round in the chamber were those that carried their rifles with an empty chamber.

The same thing with house guests. The only folks you can trust to respect you and your house already have their own housing.

I have no trouble helping those is need at soup kitchens and other venues. But my wife’s professional interaction with these folks leads me to believe that at best one in a hundred bums will turn their life around when given a helping hand. The other 99 will be ungrateful for the help they are given and just expect more.

That was the sound of me falling out of my chair.




Clark

Who could forget about this thread
http://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/10791439

I miss that guy!




Dave

Then stop whinging and bitching about your decisions you idiot wanker.

You made your bed now lay in it and stop bothering the rest of humanity.

Growing up, my dad had a wooden plaque on the wall that read like this . . .



Fish and visitors smell in three days.

Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1736
US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)

You're gambling.

That's a sin.

Stop it.




Cardinal Clark

If we all stop doing that, 24HCF traffic is going to drop about 90%.

Provided some good entertainment man why he have to get ran off? This place hasn't been the same

I welcome strangers, vagrants and ne'rdowells. There are several holes on the grounds that serve as sleeping accommodations. It keeps the winter wind at bay and they are shaded by large trees. Access is by rope, egress by ladder provided between 8 and 9 AM. They tend to be soggy until the first inch of rainfall has arrived then are considered wet. After 5" the runoff makes ladders unnecessary.

Also have a front loader on the tractor in case you start behaving poorly. Considering the purchase of a long legged nervous horse. Horse lives matter.

Sounds like an episode of The Sopranos.

I would have to have a hand written, hand delivered letter from Jesus himself before I would let a stranger into my home.

Ask France and the rest of Europe what happens when you take in destitute [bleep] and try to help them.

How many times have you heard of somebody getting a helping hand and then going on to become successful/productive? There are few examples.

Doesn't work on a global scale doesn't work on the personal level. Where I'm working now there are minimum of 3 people standing by the street with cups out. One is a twenty something. If he lays on the sidewalk starving I'll gladly step over/on him on the way to my job site.