If you could live your adult life over again,

would you change anything? and if so, what would you do, or what would you change...

Thought of this question, while watching a commercial...

For ST Jude's Children Hospital...

Every time I see one, I know exactly what I'd do over...and different...

After I got out of the service ( wouldn't change anything substantial before that time period), I'd have gone and got on board with St Jude's Childrens Hospital...

couldn't think of a more worthwhile way to live a life once again....

I would be more patient with my kids. It's really the one thing I regret is that I did not have enough patience with them when they were growing up.

Speaking of St Jude's, I'll be in Memphis this weekend running the St. Jude's Marathon. We have extended family that goes almost every year and runs in one of the events. We will have about 30 people there this year.

I hate those commercials, I want to take every one of those dang kids home!

I have no regrets, (well I have 1 but that was beyond my control)if things didn't go the way they did I wouldn't have the wife and kids I have and I couldn't have that.

I am very happy and content with the way life is.

I should have gone to medical school , the wisdom my parents imparted on me is priceless and I should have listened to 99% of what they told me.

Every time I think about one of those "what ifs", I look at my wife and kids and know that had I changed anything at all the likelihood is that I'd not have them.

For all the bumps, and pitfalls, and crashes along the road to this point, if the choice were to change anything along the way and avoid any/all of those, but not have them - I'll take them and what came every single time.

I'd have been more reckless.





Dave

...if you had been any more reckless you probably wouldn't be here to type.."I'd have been more reckless"....

Meh.

I'd have been fine.

Maybe.

I look at it the same way. It would have been nice to have retired from the military but had I not gotten out when I did, I likely would have missed spending time with my dad during his final weeks, I'd have never met my wife and would have never been blessed with my son.

I regret not going into the Marine Corps after high school, as long as the rest of my life played out the same. 30 years as a firefighter and a great wife and kids has me counting my blessings.

everything you do, or don't do, has a consequence. I can't really think of anything I would change at this point. Most everything worked out fairly well, and who knows how the end result might have been had I made different choices back in yesteryear.

Lots of bumps and falls getting here but as has been said I would change nothing. Was a hell of a lot of fun getting here and the reward of Kath and the kids and now grands kids...WOW! What a ride.

BTW, we have supported St. Jude's and Shriner's Children's hospitals for many moons.

I'd have spent more time with my parents. They were both gone when I was a young adult, and that's always been one of my life's biggest regrets.

I'd have been better about putting more of my money aside.

I would have tried to become less of an azzhole.

I'd have quit believing in my own academic prowess and accepted the first reasonable job to come along right after the ink was dry on my BSEE diploma.

I would have changed me

I can't even change me now.

I would be a chitload better husband and father. I allowed my 'need' for solitude in the field to have precedent over time with family.

I'd work long hours in construction all week so my family had all they needed and spend the weekends with a pack, gun, rod, binos... I was a great guy, didn't drink, go to the bar, chase women, beat the kids... I was an idiot...

One year I decided I would hunt every weekend from August archery deer to Feb javalina, birds, bear, varmint calling, elk, whatever... I almost made it, I only missed two weekends... looking back I can see what I really missed.

My wife would joke to other people that she saved me from being a hermit... hey, she knew how I was before we got married... what a self absorbed pigfucking excuse.

After 20 years I took her on my elk hunt, then my antelope hunt, then packing in to coues hunt, soon any hunt she wanted to. I'm the one who lost out those early years.

I really failed as a father, that is my legacy... sins of the father.

I refuse to fail anymore as a husband and won't as a grandfather... it'll never be enough.

Kent

Without a doubt...

Would not have gotten married when I did.

I would have taken my GI Bill money and gone to a flight school like Spartan or Embrey Riddle rather than dealing with the lowest scum of the human species.

Zero. It has been a great experience all the way around.

This is where I likely could have backed off a bit.

A classic.

I would have been a Military Doctor.

I wouldn't change anything, because the mistakes I made led me to the place I am today. Life is good and I would not change it if I could.

well reading into it, i have a pretty good idea of why you wrote what you wrote. But I also know you sure as heck are not "failing" these days.
You are one of the most giving individuals i have ever ran across.
Everybody around you knows that.

I wouldn't have had backdoor sex with my ex-wife (fiance at the time) in the bed of the parents of my ex high school girlfriend.

Went for a visit, as I was close to her parents, and they gave us their bed while they slept on the pull out in the living room.

She should have done cleanse first.


Other than that, I can't think of much I'd change.

I wish I would have joined the military right out of high school instead of going to work and getting married WAY too young.(the first time)


Virgil B.

I'm not sure I'd do anything different. It may mean I don't have my kids. And I have the most perfect kids a parent could have. If I could pick and order...they're what I'd have ordered.

No Regrets.

Can't do it over. History, why dwell on it?

'tis true we can't change the past. Still, when I look at the kids today, I'd have rather had more good dogs.

Now that I've thought about it, I may do one thing different.

When my mom's old boyfriend raised a hand to her in anger, instead of just shoving his ass down the stairs and breaking his leg...I would have ran down the stairs and finished the F'n job.

But I was 12, so I didn't know any better.

That past is continually changing.

EVERYTHING!

I would go out of my way to make people feel noticed and appreciated.

Bad luck or Good luck?

There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped to the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"

Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"

Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off.

Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows?


P.S. to the guy who should have gone to medical school. Maybe when you made tone of money you would have bought an expensive race car, crashed and died. Sometimes when we look on things as bad at that time, actually turn out to be good.

Most anything I can think of would have resulted in not marrying my wife or having my son around. The only think I could have changed that would have made a significant difference is to have put more money in my 401k and stayed out of debt, been more prepared to retire. I depended on a pension that never came through. We came out ok, but you can always be more prepared for retirement.

I'd bet heavily on the 1972 Dolphins.

With those winnings, I'd put everything I owned on Secretariat to win three times in a row in 1973.

I'd invest in real estate in the mid-70's and ride the double digit inflation wave for a few years, then cash out to...

...Buy silver at 7 and sell it close to 40 in 1979.

I'd invest a lot in Microsoft in the 80's.

I'd short the market like crazy on Oct. 19th, 1987.

I'd invest in a lot of tech firms in the 1990's, like Cisco, then get out of those around 2000. I'd position myself in cash in 2007 and then pick up a lot of bargains in 2008.

I wouldn't get married, or if I did I wouldn't do it for the reasons I did.


Other than that, not much different...

Knowing what I know now, I would have made it much easier for me to make money and to make more of it.

But I can't complain too much. I managed to have an adventure or two and eventually ended up with a good woman.

What is done is done. I would not trade my family for anything in this world.

I just answered a theoretical question

How do we know we're not already reliving the lives we led? How do we know we're not on the 3rd, 4th or 1000th iteration trying to get it right?

We just don't get to know what we knew then, or will know later, or however that works...

Well, the Bible says we live once and then are judged. (Or something like that.) So we have an answer to that hypothetical.



There are several things I might have done different but some of them would have cancelled each other out.

I should have submitted my resume to the Government Accounting Standards Board when they requested it, instead of going into self-employment.

But I should have found a way to stay downstate during Carter's recession because I never have found a way to get back down there since then. But, of course, then there never would have been the wrong choice to make regarding GASB.

This is a fine and genuinely introspective man being more openly honest than most would dare. My time with him, although too short, has been of great value. Even though understanding much of why he deems himself a "failure" as a father, I cannot agree with that assessment for, in my aging eyes, there is too much evidence to the contrary. As some know from time well spent, he has proved his excellent mettle in may other ways. A very congruent person, as evidenced by his post.

Also - John - very good thread.

I believe that story is from Taoism but I might be mistaken.


There is another story of a fellow who asked a magician to let him relive his life, to "know then what he knew now". So the magician granted his wish and sent him back to when he was a young man just starting out in life.

The man changed many things in his life - different job, married a different woman and lived in a different house in a different country - but he was just as miserable as he was in his previous life. He only changed the external things but neglected to change anything internally so he was the same person as before and made the same mistakes as before. He had the same attitudes and treated himself and others just as badly as he had before.



The other thing to take away from "if I only knew then what I know now" is that we know now what we know now and can carry that knowledge into the future. As they say on the motivational posters, it's never too late to be the person you always wanted to be.




(I'd still like to leverage silver futures at around 11 and sell a couple months later somewhere in the 40's. ).

+1

Yes sir ... they turned out ok , but wish I had been more patient

I'd married that girl that tripped my trigger like no other, before or since.

You've put some thought into this.

Can't change the past, learn from it.
Live in the present, enjoy it.
Plan for the future, can't avoid it.

I would find the stupid teenager that thought it was really cool to smoke cigarettes and get falling down drunk whenever possible , would kick his azz into next week.

Other than that, probably wouldn't change too much, has been one hell of a ride and still on the horse.

I'd try to get in a few more visits with my Grandpa and my Great Uncle. They probably had the answers to the questions I am facing at this point in my life.

I've done plenty of stupid things, and learned from a few of them.


That said, I guess it's my personality but I tend to look forward not back. Hence I really can't think of anything I would have changed.

I would not change a thing.
Yes, I made mistakes along the way, but, --- what a hell of a ride!!

I'd hang out more with that Gates geek.

Well, you could but....

This is interesting, because one of my fears/concerns is that they're going to send me back and make me do it again. Wasn't much fun this time, don't really want to again.

I would do just about everything different if I had the chance to live my adult life over again. It's a darn shame that I lived as long as I did before I learned what I have. I'd realize early on that the best stuff in life isn't 'stuff'. I'd realize early on that marriage is like digging for rubies in a pile of rubble, only to discover that the rubble itself was the real treasure all along. I'd realize early on that the least rewarding time of my life was when I lived for myself. And more than anything else, I'd realize that loving God...and demonstrating my love for God by loving others...would be and should be the filter through which I thought about, and acted upon, everything in my life. And I would put forth tremendous effort to make sure that my loved ones knew that they were loved unconditionally by me. I'd be more nurturing, and I'd be more emotionally attuned with them. A lot. And I'd spend a lot less time and money on things that did not matter, and I'd spend a lot more time and money on things that did matter.

That said, I know of no other charity that is as outstanding in every aspect of its mission than St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

I still haven't figured how to shoot a deer and have it run to my truck before it falls over dead. Otherwise it's be a good and occasionally wild ride I wouldn't change.

Hang ten.....if you got 'em.

I'd have gone straight to college instead of almost blowing my GI bill. I'd be an engineer now instead of a tech with a two year degree.

At least I got a bit of education, w/o the indoctrination, that helps me be useful and earn my keep.

I wouldn't have started to smoke, paying the price now

This in spades...All the twists and turns brought me to where I am now. I would be afraid to change any of it...

I would have married the other one.

I would finish my degree 25 years earlier and go into the Army as an Officer, not enlisted, but be sure to stay in the same branch, Intelligence.

Just about everything. Been married for over 20 years to a fun nazi/nun.

After he died, I got my father's service record from WWII where he was the Engineering Officer of an LST in the Southwest Pacific. I wish I had gotten it while he was still alive so I could have asked him, "what does this mean?", or "what was going on here?"

After 21 years active duty in the Navy, I can sorta figure out what was going on but it would have been nice to hear it from the "horse's mouth".

Indirectly, my 21 year Navy career was due to his service in WW II.

A few months ago I was confiding with a friend about somethings in my past and it felt good to get it off my chest. An iffy relationship I had when I was in my 20s resulted in a child I never got to know and I felt that if I had guidance at that time in my life it wouldnt have happened.
I told my friend that I wish I had a time machine. She asked me what I would change. I thought about it and told her I wouldnt change anything. I then told her I wish I could go back and talk to the young man I was then with what I know now. She said would the young man listen to you? I said probably not.

Ed,

I'll admit, of all the people I know, if I could accuse one or two of doing it all the RIGHT WAY the first time... I'd have to pick you as one of them...

I wish I had loved and been more patient with my children.
I wish I had spent more time with my mother and taken better care of her.

Other than that, I will attone for my sins when I meet my maker.

Oh, wow.

Yes X10.

deleted

My folks are still alive, but by God, if they want to brew up a pot of coffee and visit a while you [bleep] better do it.

Sometimes it kills me to stop, but I reckon it's worth it

Youse guys don't be stupid and end up like your friends that regret not spending more time with your folks.

Amen to that!

I've met a lot of unbelievable really great people via the campfire and in my travels...

But Kent, I admit, I always love spending time around you and your wonderful wife Cheryl...( hope I spelled that correctly)...

you owe no one an apology my friend....for anything..

If I could go back I think a vasectomy would be in order. At least until I could be better at making a living. Right now I have doomed my kids to slightly lower mediocrity type lifestyle.

I would have stood up for myself more in the Service. I can risk my life by jumping out of a perfectly good airplane but was too afraid, too stretched thin by debt to risk losing what I did have. Of course I would probably have been killed by now.

I too had married the wrong one. At least the first time.

Yeah, I have to admit, I wish I'd have married that pretty young blue eyed Irish Blonde that I met back in college...

I am thankful for what I have.. but admit if I could do it over, I would have taken different paths...

My second wife, I wish I would have somehow known and married her the first time.. and only time, instead of who I married the first time....

Ya know, I've have a pretty successful business career... and made a lot of money along the way.... but professionally, I'd still change that route and have gone to work at St Jude's Fresh out of the service....

What I regret the most in my life?

I haven't served my fellow man and done enough good work for our Dear Lord... its not what one did in life that matters ( at least in reference to my life), its what you did for others... and in all I've done, it still isn't enough......

I think we all have been both blessed and cursed in our lives....

a few people who have posted I have had the opportunity to meet in person... and its funny, but what they posted.. I'll admit, either way... I couldn't hold them more in high esteem that I already do....

I've met a lot of guys from the campfire who I wish had been one of my brothers in life...most probably don't have a clue of how much I think of them...

Apart from being less of an arrogant prick to others when I was younger I would not change a thing as I like who and where I am.

Not one single thing.

I wouldn't have had Taco Bell for lunch.

Well stated, and pretty much how I've tried to live.