This is a how to. How to simulate that opening day of elk season. Completing this program will get you prepared as one can humanly be.
Part I. Start at sea level with two day growth, B.O., and a can-do attitude.
Part II. Starts at 10,000 ft 24 hrs later.
This is part II.
1. This section begins around sundown give or take a few hours- beer is good, micro brews exceptional. Topped off with your choice of bourbon, scotch or top shelf tequila.
2. Drink enough to stumble into the creek while peeing, both boots must be soaked to proceed to next step.
3. Before going to sleep put boots by fire to dry off, close enough to melt by morning.
4. One must stay up on at least to midnight, bonus point for 2:00 A.M.
5. Passing out in front of fire is optional.
6. Set alarm for 4:30 A.M.
7. Rise at 5:00 A.M. You're rising late because you screwed up setting the alarm last night-go figure.
8. Put logs in stove. Dress quickly. Curse the cold.
9. Consume minimum two strong cups of coffee. Followed by chew and ibuprofen. No time for breakfast your late remember.
10. Begin jogging uphill until sweating and gasping for O2. Stop :30, repeat until drench and approaching passing out.
11. Stop, kneel, pull rifle off shoulder, take safety off, aim at 200 yd target, pull tigger...click...nothing. 12. Now load rifle repeat pulling trigger.
13. Take out bag of blood from back pack, smear on hands, pants, and face.
14. Load backpack with rocks.
15. Hump it back to camp. You only made it 100 yd from camp during step two, so this step must be repeated 42 times in under four minutes to get the full Monty.
There are other steps I may of missed, so please, share with your fellow elk hunters the benefit of your wisdom gained form experience.
Part I. Start at sea level with two day growth, B.O., and a can-do attitude.
Part II. Starts at 10,000 ft 24 hrs later.
This is part II.
1. This section begins around sundown give or take a few hours- beer is good, micro brews exceptional. Topped off with your choice of bourbon, scotch or top shelf tequila.
2. Drink enough to stumble into the creek while peeing, both boots must be soaked to proceed to next step.
3. Before going to sleep put boots by fire to dry off, close enough to melt by morning.
4. One must stay up on at least to midnight, bonus point for 2:00 A.M.
5. Passing out in front of fire is optional.
6. Set alarm for 4:30 A.M.
7. Rise at 5:00 A.M. You're rising late because you screwed up setting the alarm last night-go figure.
8. Put logs in stove. Dress quickly. Curse the cold.
9. Consume minimum two strong cups of coffee. Followed by chew and ibuprofen. No time for breakfast your late remember.
10. Begin jogging uphill until sweating and gasping for O2. Stop :30, repeat until drench and approaching passing out.
11. Stop, kneel, pull rifle off shoulder, take safety off, aim at 200 yd target, pull tigger...click...nothing. 12. Now load rifle repeat pulling trigger.
13. Take out bag of blood from back pack, smear on hands, pants, and face.
14. Load backpack with rocks.
15. Hump it back to camp. You only made it 100 yd from camp during step two, so this step must be repeated 42 times in under four minutes to get the full Monty.
There are other steps I may of missed, so please, share with your fellow elk hunters the benefit of your wisdom gained form experience.