Little kids check under their beds for monsters. Monsters check under their beds for Chuck. :-)

They were going to put Chuck on Mt Rushmore, but then decided that the granite was not tough enough to simulate his beard.

Tough guys sleep with a gun under their pillow. Chuck sleeps with a gun as a pillow.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.

Spiderman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed.

Chuck doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down.

SS

Chuck does not like honey, he chews bees.

Chuck Norris put the laughter in manslaughter.

They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris, but nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer.

Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

The outlaw Josey Wales ......
"Chuck Norris ? Never heard of her ! " ( spits chaw on your boots )

Chick Norris once fought superman with the stipulation that the loser would have to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

when you see chuck norris you are in immediate danger, when you can't see him you may be merely seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has grizzly bear rugs in his bedroom. The bears aren't dead, they're just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris hasn't walked on water yet... But he's got a learner's permit.