If it is not true, it should be.

So, back in the 1930's, in the FDR, Great Depression days, the government is going to pay farmers to not, raise hogs.

To get paid to not raise hogs, of course you have to prove you do raise hogs.

One December day when the south wind is ripping from the south, the old farmer, and his son have all their hogs in the old hoghouse waiting for the government man to count them.

The government man is holding his clipboard counting the hogs as they push them out the south door.

After a while, the head count is more than the farmers know they have, and the hoghouse is still full of hogs.


A bit of quiet investigation reveals a loose board on the north end of the building where the hogs are coming back in on the cold day.

Remember the part about getting paid to NOT raise the hogs that were being raised?

So, this is a good deal for the farmers, but at some point the building has to empty out.

Before it got completely silly, the son goes back, and kicks a board over the hole.

My most rememberd pig story found me up on a thirty-two-foot ladder, painting the space directly in front of me, that limit being made by the death grip of my arms around the sides of the ladder. We were painting a barn (white oil) that was used as a residence for hogs. They had been herded inside and the openings that were used for their comings and goings boarded shut. My ladder was directly in front of one of these closed portals. Some sort of plan was made and an all-out assault was launced on the boards fronting my ladder. The flimsy barricade instantly gave way and my ladder was jostled by the flow of escaping inmates. Paint (and probably other liquids) cascaded downward, but the ladder remained upright. In celebration of the big break-out, the hogs alternated between rubbing up against our still-wet wall and back up and schitting against it.

A farmer had 5 female pigs.

Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"

The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.

This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.

The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed.

He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."

"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."