An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are so wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a wooden ball (a little smaller than a golf ball) from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to stretch the skin for shaving.

When the barber is finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that wooden ball.

The barber replied “No problem. You’d just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”

John

Lord that one hurt and I don't even live in Texas!

My favorite old cowboy joke still involves the young cowboy who comes into a diner, starving and broke. He only has a dime for a cup of coffee. As he sits at the counter drinking the coffee, he notices the old cowboy sitting on the stool next to him, staring in space with a bowl of chili in front of him. Driven by hunger, the young fellow eventually gets up the nerve to ask the older fellow if he is going to eat the chili. Without saying a word, the old fellow pushes the bowl over in front of the young man, who grabs a spoon and begins shoveling with gusto. About halfway through the bowl, a mouse appears in the mix. At this, the young man reintroduces the chili that he had consumed into the bowl. The old cowboy looks over and says, "Yep, that's just about as far as I got, too."

Then there was the old down home cowboy in Texas who'd stop in the same bar every afternoon for a beer. He'd drink it slowly then, every day, he'd say, "Well, it's time to go check on the ranch."
A couple young hotshots who frequented the bar decided to have some fun with him. One walked up him looked over the old man's worn jeans and dirty boots, and said "Hey Old timer, you always have to go check on your ranch. Just how big is this ranch of yours anyway?"

"20 acres."

The 2 young guys cracked up. "Wow! 20 acres! Hey old timer, just where is this 20 acre ranch of yours anyway?"

"Downtown Dallas."