Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Divorce RKIs -- Need some advice.

Seriously considering divorce. Married 3 years, no kids, minimal mortgage, we both work, I already make her car payment (it's in my name, bought it as a gift). We own a house together for the last 4 years. No joint checking account. This is in PA.

Anyone been there, done that? What's this like? Mom and dad are Ward and June Cleaver so I really have no frame of reference on the matter.

Dude, you need some SERIOUS psychological help.

Given your stream of posts, you're in trouble, deep, and you need more help than you can get on line.

Get off the computer and get onto a psychiatrists couch.

I will second that Sir.

I'll make it three... Get help before you decide something like this... You may regret it..

Thanks, working on that...But beyond that, tell me about divorce and how it works. This is not the first time I've considered it. Clearer heads will prevail this time.

I don't plan, man...I just do things.

This could be a large part of the problem.

Really..?

I guess no one here has been divorced before?

Come on, I really need some advice. Wikipedia ain't my friend on this one.

Real-world Perspective. That's what I'm seeking.

I'm not asking you to tell me to get divorced or not to get divorced...Just want to know what the process is, how it works.

Get some help first.

I've been divorced, as have many others.

But seriously, dude, you're totally [bleep] in the head right now. You don't need to be thinking about a divorce. You DO need to be thinking about getting some help and getting your head straightened out.

Think about it.

You post up earlier that you're having suicidal thoughts.
You post that you see/saw a couple of serial killers as "fighting the good fight".
Your avatar and signature line are from a psychopath in a very dark movie (those things do say much about us, like it or not).

You're sick. You need help.

Get the hell off the internet and get some help.

In a nutshell, its to be avoided at all costs, used as a VERY last resort. Nothing ever comes good of one, hurt on both sides, a no win situation. Put it out of your mind and do as many have told you - seek professional help first and foremost. When you become stable, and clearer thinking has become the norm, then and only then would be the time to contemplate such a decision.

You've been given good advice by many, take it and put aside all talk of divorce until you get back on track with your mental issues.

Well, I'm chained like a slave to my computer for 10 hours a day to make the money that makes this wonderful life all possible.

Tomorrow, I'm off to see the Wizard, to get some magic dust and a recommendation of who to get some couch time with.

I'm working on the help thing. The help I need that you can give me, is to tell me how you feel about the legal and emotional aspects of ending a marriage.

Not trying to be a prick...Just get some advice.

You've gotten the advice, I suspect, that you're gonna get.

That you don't like it, or it isn't exactly what you're looking for, well............

But, you got the advice you likely need right now.

If you are really serious about learning how divorce works in PA, call your county bar association and get the name of a good divorce attorney. Then spend whatever they charge for a first visit and have them walk you through the process and provide you with some recommendations on how to deal with the matter. Asking a bunch of folks you don't know for legal advice is not a wise thing to do.

/\--- This is what I'm looking for!

How can there be hurt on both sides when one is struggling to try to survive the marriage as it is?

More excellent advice. I will do that first thing tomorrow. I appreciate it.

I'm just curious how other folks went about it and how it turned out, as well.

The legal aspects - they always cost ALOT of money, nobody wins but the attorneys.

The emotional aspects are the same, you'll both come away hurt and torn.

The advice - drop the divorce issue completely until your life is back in order. This is the only fair and rational thing for you and your wife. If you decide to go ahead and not heed this advice, I can almost promise you that you'll regret it down the road. Please put it out of your mind and seek the help you need.

I suppose it's my own fault everyone here thinks I'm a freak.

I haven't exactly been the man that I could be lately.

I apologize for the consternation I've caused, and thank you for the advice you have offered.

At this point, just exploring my options. I emailed the Bar Association so we'll wait to see what I hear from them.

Exciting times we live in.

Having no kids I would think would move things along alot smoother and probably with out the bitterness.

My parents and my wifes parents are divorced. To tell you the truth neither side used the kids as pawns like you see so much today.

Looking back, I can't see how my parents were ever married in the first place. They are so different it would make your head spin.

It worked out better for all involved I think. Both are re-married and happy.