Ole and Sven were golfing when Sven pulled out a cigar; he didn't have
a lighter so he asked Ole for a light.

"Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied and reached into his
golf bag and pulled out a 12-inch BIC lighter. "Yiminy Cricket!"
exclaimed Sven, "Vhere did yew get dat monster??"

"Vell," replied Ole, "I got it from my Genie."

"You haff a genie?" Sven asked.

"Ya, shure, he's right here in my bag," said Ole.

"Could I see him?" Ole opens the side pocket of his golf bag and out
pops the genie. Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master;
Vill you grant me vun vish?"

"Yes I will", the genie said, so Sven asks him for a million bucks. The
genie hops back into the bag and leaves him standing there waiting for
his million bucks.

Suddenly the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks
flying overhead is heard. Sven yells to Ole, "I asked for a million
Bucks, not Ducks!"

Ole answers, "Ya, Do yew really tink I asked him for a 12-inch BIC?"

The way I heard it, the first guy had a tiny, wee, teeny little guy playing a little piano. When the second guy got his million ducks, the first guy says "You don't think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist, do you?" A good joke can stand to have more than one version.

.

The version I heard had a guy pulling out a tiny piano and a 12 inch guy to play it. Asked for a 12 inch Penis and the Genie was hard of hearing.

There is also a version where the guy goes in a bar and orders a beer. Little guy jumps out of his pocket and kicks his beer over. He then orders a burger. When it arrives, the little guy pizzes on it. Bartender asks whats going on and his story was he asked for a 12 inch Prick .......and there he was!

In any case, be careful what you ask for. :-) TM

Frankly I am offended!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole premise of the Joke is predicated on some of us that just happen to live in a region where the spoken accent is completely foreign to the inbred, Goat kissing, dirty balloon knots in theNorth east, the sister chasing cousins of their daddy's dad's Mom down south, and those cheese eating liberal surrender Monkey Wanna be, commie Pinko's that infest everything west of the Rockies..

Pack your best Swampers, and wool long Johns and come get you some!

I know for a fact this so called "Joke" of a social insult, is a lie because I specificly asked MY Genie for a "Reliable Snow Machine" and all of a sudden I am here.....

I'll bet you Maggots can't even appreciate the difference between a Pastie and a vending Machine "Hot Pocket"!!!!!!

I'm calling my Lawyer Swen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll OWN this place in three weeks, And every one of you's guys Well pump heaters!


May the tourists of ten thousand Fudge shops, ask you for directions to the nearest Quaint Michigan museum Tomorrow!!!!!

Just say NO to Da Trolls Eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!



E4E

Thanks to those that did not involve Leprechauns and us Natives to the gag!!!!!!!!!!

E, You might want to stay off the double expresso's for a while! (grin) TM

Hjalmar was driving past Ole's place when he saw a sign by the lane. The sign said "Bote for Sale." Hjalmer came to a skidding stop, backed up and drove up to Ole'saplace. Ole was pottering around the yard. Hjalmar hollered at him, "Ole, you old fool, I've known you for fifty year. You have no bote to sell. All you have on this godforsaken place of yours is a John Deere B with a manure bucket and a two-bottom plow!" To this Ole replied, "Yep, and they're the bote of them for sale." Lingen berries and ostkaka for all!

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.'" The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more." So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "

Lena got in a horrible car wreck and died. Since Ole was out of town, the coroner called Sven to come down and identify the body.

Sven arrived at the morgue, but Lena's face was unrecognizable from the accident. Sven then asked the coroner to turn her over on her stomach. He then examined her private parts and announced, "Dat's not Lena."

Of course it's Lena, said the coroner. "No she's not", said Sven.
This woman only has one a**hole. When I go walking down the road with Ole and Lena, everyone that goes by says, "Look at Lena with those two a**holes."

Ole and Sven were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked excitedly? "No," replied Sven. "Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"

One day Ole and Lena were outside, and it started to rain. They thought nothing of it; however, the rains kept coming until the main floor of their house became filled with water. Lena said, "Ole, what are we going to do? The water is coming in."

"Let's go upstairs. The rain won't last that long and won't get up there," was Ole's reply. So Ole and Lena went upstairs to wait for the rain to stop.

Shortly after Lena looked at her feet and saw they were immersed in water. "Ole! Ole! the rain has reached us up here. What are we going to do?"

"Lena, calm down. We'll just go up on the roof. The water will NEVER reach us up there. It's too high."

After sitting on the roof for a period of time, Lena noticed a hat floating down stream. She, of course, thought that someone had just lost his hat and the current was taking the hat with it. However, when she looked at the water rising again, she noticed that the hat was coming back up stream. That hat kept going down stream and then back upstream, downstream and back upstream.

"Ole, look at that hat," she said.

Ole was as puzzled as she was. Then it suddenly hit him. He remembered what Sven had told him. "Lena, I know why that hat is going back and forth upstream. When I talked to Sven yesterday, he said that come hell or high water he was going to mow his lawn today!!"