Do you remember the Jeff Foxworthy joke about how funny it was to pass the 'doe pee' bottle around for his hunting friends to smell, but how his wife didn't think it was at all funny?
Well, this morning it was my turn and I felt sorry for the young ladies...
Without going into a lot of details, I had to go for a CT scan this morning. To prepare me for the scan, they had me drink the most foul tasting bottle of stuff last nite, and then another one this morning. It had the consistency about like milk-of-magnesia and was blue-berry flavored, both of which make me gag. Now this stuff isn't like the citrus stuff you take for a colonoscopy. It doesn't 'clean you out'. This stuff is suppose to make your guts 'glow in the dark', so to speak. It stays in you. On top of those two bottles, when I got to the hospital, they had me drink another cup or so of some similar stuff. Different taste but the same consistency. Eyes watered and gag reflex set in, but again I managed to keep it down.
Now the procedure itself didn't take 10 minutes and out the door I went. Since I was in town, I'll just run by and take care of some more business.
While driving to this other place, I cut the most foul smelling fart of my life... It wasn't one of those loud obnoxious farts, no... just a small toot! Hardly worth noticing. You know, one of those you sneak out when around company. Again I liked to have gagged, from my own fart... had to roll down the truck window, to air out the truck. Once was mind boggling, but now these farts were coming every few minutes. I drove over 20 miles with the window down and when I would let one, it still stunk so bad that I would almost gag.
Anyway, I get to the place of business, walk into the small office and there are 2 young ladies. While explaining why I was there, I felt another one coming on. So, I excused myself, walked out the door and let it go...and like before, just a small toot. The ladies could see me thru the window and I guess was wondering what was going on. I came back in and continued with my business. After a few minutes, here comes another one. So again, I excused myself and stepped outside. Only this time the younger of the two lades came to see what was going on. I barely made it out the door, when I cut loose again. Just as it happened, the lady opened the door, and evidently it sucked the smell inside the small office. Almost immediately, the lady at the door swore, stepped back inside and closed the door. Me, I'm still standing outside, not knowing what to do. I heard the 2nd lady ask what was wrong, but I didn't hear the first lady answer. About 3 heartbeats later, I hear the 2nd lady swear and both ladies busted thru the door, to come outside with me. After catching their breath, the older of the two women looked at me and said, "Mister, you're sick".
All I could say was "Yes Ma'am".
I explained what was going on... we finished our business, standing outside... and they said they would call me this afternoon. They didn't invite me back inside the office.
