Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire To boldly go where no man has gone before

Oh, I've been to other rodeos. It's just that this one had over a month of waiting and build-up.

This is kind of like the day before the November Rifle Opener in reverse.

Fixed it. I had mine 4yrs ago. Easy enough. Damned inconvenient, though. And correct about the baby wipes, Charmin or not.

You are going to give yourself a colonoscopy? You must be flexible.

Dang! A ziploc? You're expecting more backsplash than I was. If you look closely at the pic, there's a Ruger P-90 with an extended mag next to the Rem 1100.

I've been thinking that you have many friends here that will be happy to abuse you to take your mind off the upcoming, errr... "Grand Opening Event".

I'm happy to contribute to distracting you.

So, after the colonoscopy, perhaps you should replace "Pet Loads" with this book:



John

Here's a better pic.

John, thanks for the suggestion. I have a copy, and it's going on the pile right now.


Update: Angus slept in this morning, but finally got up, and gave me my birthday present.
[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ND6JizBJ35997X67R0sd44vO_Kh4CBxfPs1KXmiobBg=w779-h584-no[/img]

It's a stag horn back scratcher.

I was on my 8th cup of beef bullion. It tastes great, but it is only 5 calories. It probably takes more to fix it than I get back in consuming it. Dang! Here it is afternoon, and I haven't started my writing project. Where's that . . .? . . . ah! There it is.

The Popeil Pocket Third Person has been a handy tool for me all these years. I'm a writer that tends to do his best work, writing in third person. The Pocket Third Person takes everything I'm going to write in 1st person and transposes it in my head so I experience the world in third person. There's a bunch of settings and it all gets really subtle, but that's the short of it. I got my first one while I was in college, and I'm now on my third. I hear you can get them on E-Bay. Here let me demonstrate how it works. I'll just switch it on. . . and. . .

The shaman looked up from his computer. He found himself located in his bathroom. It was oddly decorated, not unlike a small den or home office. The Pocket Third Person sat before him on the tray table,it's red light blinked, showing it was working.

Eventually, working through a slight bit of confusion, the shaman realized why it was turned on and turned the device off.

Ah! There! See, I am back to normal now. Well, there is a bit of wooziness from switching back and forth so quickly. However, I'll just stay seated until it wears off.

Did I mention that KYHillChick brought me a really cool present? She went down to the Somali restaurant and found me a box of my favorite Gunpowder tea, and brought me that and a little blue teapot, so I'll have tea this afternoon along with my bullion.

Great Minds that think alike! I had both ends run on Monday this week. Unfortunately since I am working away from home, my facilities are up the 3 steps in my 5th wheel camper. Sitting on that small pot got old in a hurry. Keeping myself supplied with beef broth and, yes, lime jello from the kitchen was a problem a couple of times that resulted in some additional laundry to do.

Hope your results turn out as good as mine! Good Luck!

Didja know that Utah is the lime Jello capital of the universe? Yup. More of it sold and apparently eaten here than anywhere else either side of Pluto. The usual serving suggestion is called "salad" hereabouts; lime jello with fine carrot shavings in it.

Yeah, I know. Weird.

Anyway, the Gunpower blend ought to suit you to a "T".

We'll know in a bit. T-Minus 1 hour 54 minutes and counting.

I stuck my finger in the go-juice just now to figure out how bad it was. Pretty bad. Vaguely citrusy in an industrial sort of way.

I was thinking of my Dad. He fulfilled the role of "Sparky" in the real-live Korea. He was the corporal back at HQ that the "Radars" used to call up when they needed stuff. What got me to thinking about him was his story of how he used to mix the medicinal alcohol with frozen OJ concentrate and make Screwdrivers. Whenever there were nurses coming into Kimpo, he'd drive over with an ambulance with a couple of buddies and a gallon of Screwdriver to meet the plane. He said they would deliver every nurse to the M.A.S.H. units plastered and pregnant.

I was a bit aghast when he told me this. It was a couple of years before he died. He said the nurses usually were scared witless of the prospect of being so close to the fighting, and getting knocked up was their only way out. He and the guys at Division HQ were more than happy to take care of the problem.

NO! Dad. I wasn't worried about that! I was thinking how many half-brothers and sisters I might have running around.

Dad thought for a minute and changed the subject.

Now, I'm wondering what his recipe was. 8:1? 5:1? All of a sudden I'm sitting in Dad's bathroom missing him.

Gosh if you're like most of the posters here you really shouldn't need to get a doctor involved at all. Just bend over, poke your head up your azz and have a look around.

I would have just put one of these in the bushes and said to heck with the indoor facility:

THIS

T-Minus 1 hour 23 minutes.

I hired a little German guy from up the street, and gave him a white coat and a hat we stole from Steak & Shake. He's going to help me buckle in and then give me a big thumbs up before locking me in the bathroom. I'll use the back scratcher to start the fan. He'll then make sure that end of the house is cleared out.

There are apparently several different "prep" kits. The ones I've used contained some standard commercial laxative tablets, a bottle of CitriLax, and two bottled enemas. Never had the two-liter of guck one. No biggie either way; you just poop until you think there CAN'T be any more goo in there - and then you spew and spray until you think there can't be any more YOU in there.

Addendum. I'm simply amazed that nobody has linked to the classic Dave Barry piece. So HERE IT IS

Did not have that problem myself. When I woke up the nurse said if I felt like farting it was normal. Thunder came to the ward at that very moment.

She told me later I might have set a record for the clinic.

It made me feel special.

The countdown stands at T-Minus 47 minutes and counting.

The the first of several warning sirens have sounded.

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Good luck Shaman. I'm having mine next month. Can't wait. The first one since I passed 50 a few years back.

T-Minus 12 minutes:

The Go Juice has come out of the refrigerator. The old German guy just gave me the thumbs up, and then ran for his life.

The tray table is up and the seat has been returned to the upright position.

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