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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500 |
Evil Twin.... THAT is a GOOD one. I was asked if I had ever spent 'quality time' with a hooker once. I replied something to the effect of "I am a saved Christiian man, also I am a sinner and sometimes do sinful things. I am NOT, however, suicidal or STUPID"
LOVE God, LOVE your family, LOVE your country, LIKE guns and sports.
About 2016 team "R" candidates "We definitely need a crew with a sack of balls the size of hot water bottles, bloviated estrogen leaking feel-gooders need not apply." Gunner 500
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959 |
[quote]Evil Twin.... THAT is a GOOD one. I was asked if I had ever spent 'quality time' with a hooker once. I replied something to the effect of "I am a saved Christiian man, also I am a sinner and sometimes do sinful things. I am NOT, however, suicidal or STUPID" [/quote
+100(at least!)
"For joy of knowing what may not be known we take the golden road to Samarkand."
James Elroy Flecker
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500 |
Bristoe... I forgot to mention that I enjoyed your rendition of the events. Once, while working as a skip tracer in Southern Cal. (LONG AGO!) I mistakenly picked up a heavy set gal who was apparently hitchhiking. Did not for a moment imagine that she, being a heftyheifer and dressed rather normallly would require that I disinfect the inside of my T-bird or ask me if I know a way for her to make $50.00 real quick. IIIICCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!
LOVE God, LOVE your family, LOVE your country, LIKE guns and sports.
About 2016 team "R" candidates "We definitely need a crew with a sack of balls the size of hot water bottles, bloviated estrogen leaking feel-gooders need not apply." Gunner 500
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321
Campfire Oracle
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OP
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321 |
Bristoe, apologies. I'll take it elsewhere. FWIW, crack ho's suck. Bristoe never asks for apologies,.....
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321
Campfire Oracle
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OP
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321 |
Hopin' you folks gotta chuckle,...
That's what it's all about,...
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,520
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,520 |
"LISTEN HO!,... IF YOU WANNA RIDE, YOU JUST KEEP YOUR SNAGGLETOOF ASS PLANTED IN FRONT OF MY TRUCK UNTIL THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN AND YOU'LL GET A GOOD 'UN!"
I'm STILL laughing...snaggletoof...heh, heh...
Guns are like guitars - you can never have too many.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375 |
"crack ho's suck. "..........Bwahahahahaha!
What's that perfume? Eau de Dead Shrimp.
I like your "ho" posts, Bristoe. Always a "slice o' life".
Al
"Anyone who willfully and maliciously attacks another without sufficient cause deserves no consideration" - Col. Jeff Cooper
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,055
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2004
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yup, literally and figuratively...
I was fresh out of college and had moved up to Boston for work. I was driving home after an especially boring party full of intellectuals. I was living at the poverty line and was driving back home to the only place I could afford and this danged crack ho' ran out into the street in front of me waving her arms begging me for a ride. Sure, I said. She got in and we drove around, her evading the question of where the hell I was supposed to be driving her. Finally she says, "most guys that pick me up ask for a BJ. I just asked her yet again where she needed to go, and dropped her off.
I ain't never been great w/ attracting women but its never been so bad I ever felt the need to pay for it.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,134
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,134 |
Xslant story, told with aplomb... Lak sumthin' Ida done meself.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69
Pro-Constitution.
LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,875
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,875 |
Funny, and a story well told.
But I seen a bright kid I once knew well that was turned into a crack whore, because of crack she had lost custody of her child and her whole family grown sick of her lying and stealing for drugs and had kicked her out. Not real funny.
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 10,593
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 10,593 |
Now lemme tell yas about this particular crack ho. I mean,... I ain't naive,... I been around enough ta know that ain't too many crack ho's contendin' fer a page in Vanity Fair. But this one was 'special'. This had to be the plug ugliest crack ho in the city. I mean,... her looks had done bypassed 'ugly' and firmly established themselves in the catagory of 'scary.
After a very short while in the business they all are equally scary. You should hear the radio traffic of takedown officers trying to cajole the decoy "John" to make a move on something like that. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"Don't believe everything you see on the Internet" - Abraham Lincoln
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527 |
. FWIW, crack ho's suck. [/quote]
Ummmmm,, yep.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,055
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,055 |
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
It was fun reading the French subtitles, too... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 11,282
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 11,282 |
,.... as if I'm gonna spend a $10 tab of Viagra on her butt ugly ass,....
Time's must be hard,....
They are........for those who have $10. WB.
"You set your own goals for success, and when you succeed it don't necessarily mean that you're going to be a big star or make a lot of money or anything. You'll feel it in your heart whether you've succeeded or not." - Roy Buchanan
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
They are........for those who have $10. WB. GROOOOAN!!!! Stop, you're hurting me!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,800
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,800 |
Oops! I musta' double dosed.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,630
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,630 |
Thank god I don't have to contend with that here.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,551
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,551 |
Some funny stuff for sure.
"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis
I Burn While I See
Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 48,411
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 48,411 |
A pure masterpiece, Bristoe. And living in one of the crack ho centers of this great nation, I knows hos. Not in the biblical sense, of course. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Proudly representing oil companies, defense contractors, and firearms manufacturers since 1980. Because merchants of death need lawyers, too.
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