Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire In someone's passing...

Guys, this is going to sound real corny, forgive me for that.

But with a persons passing many people come forward to say as nice a thing as they can remember about the guy, as it should be. At that point the struggles are over, and by gone's are by gone's.

When my dad died after a 7 month bout with cancer, my middle sister went into some kind of funk because she couldn't cope with losing him. Funny and sad thing was she wouldn't come see him when he was sick, even tho she lived only 20 miles away. The rest of us spent as much time as we could with dad and didn't have the regrets she had. Now she treats mom the same way too, and we keep telling her mom ain't gunna live forever.

Paying respects is the right and honorable thing to do when someone passes, to be sure. But why not do the same while we're still alive? Why so negative to each other when there's still time to do something about it?

We all make choices. You all have a good day.

Sometimes if a family member is going through their end days/months with a disease like cancer or Alzheimers - people stay away because they want all their memories to be of the person they grew up with and knew, not what they've become and as much as you tell yourself that the person you see in their last days isn't who you knew 40/50 years - it's the last, most fresh memory. That can be rather painful.

a lot of folks can't directly face or deal with the inevitable. they don't want to acknowledge reality, because they can't, not that they don't want to. and so it is with many of us humans.

When my dad caught cancer and was coming to the end, I took a couple of weeks, shuttered the business, and went to spend it with him and my mom.

Didn't bother with the funeral, couldn't see the point.

Passing does not make one a saint by doing so.

My dad was a worthless POS that was stolen from us by alcohol in the 70's although he lived until 2011. I didn't particularly care to be around him when he was alive, or when he was dying of congestive heart failure. He was true to form and was a worthless POS right up until he died.

But, he was my dad, and I had to deal with him on many levels through the years. Most were unpleasant. His death was unpleasant and the memories he left are unpleasant.


Another worthless POS died recently that I knew. Most everyone wished this person would die, so that they could have peace in their lives, free from theft, credit card fraud, and destruction. But when the POS died from years of drug abuse, it was sickening to she how she suddenly reverted to "angel" status.

As far as the difference is how I personally treat another person when dealing with them when they are alive... that all depends on the respect mutually shown. If none is shown, none is given.

Start an atonement post for defending squirrelnuts huh? Congrats fiireball2 on finally reaching 25k plus post and gaining official orifice status.....

There's a time and place for everything.

Squirrelnut didn't pick the right time or the right place.

Wait until after the funeral to piss on the grave... I did. No sense in showing what a classless jerk you are by doing it at the wrong time, in front of the wrong people. That just shows you are lowlife.

Paying respects is for the living, there is nothing you can do for the dead. I've been to a few funerals that I didn't give one shiet about the person that was dead, but I did about some of the people that cared for the dead person. I was there to support the living.

It's not difficult to understand if you ain't half a twit.

[color:#FF0000][/color]

But none should mean none, positive nor negative...

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Ya. Stepping on your dick with golf spikes on , aint exactly a good thing at times. (Fixed the quote ya snatched it before I did an edit to it, dont need a misunderstanding)

Sometimes people want to remember a loved one as they were and not how how they wasted away due to a disease, especially one as horrendous as cancer. There are times I wish I didn't witness the pain and suffering.

A friend of mine has often said "If you won't come to see me when I'm alive, don't bother coming to the funeral".

I was taught to not disrespect the dead, for it shows two things, first and foremost, you don't have the capacity for forgiveness, and second, you make it damned tough for people to want to be around you because you lack respect for others.

Forgiveness isn't about letting someone off the hook for something they've done, it's about you letting go of your hurt and getting on with life, free of the anger.
The person who has hurt you doesn't even need to know that you have chosen to forgive them, because it's not about them, it's about you and your health.

Ed

Funny, I NEVER considered a funeral to be about the dead person, I guess many do.

It's hurt like Hell every time I've done it!

Ed

This.

I think that's a common misconception, Scott.

Funeral are for the living. The dead couldn't care less.

Ed

Contrary to popular belief, respect and trust are gifts, not the wages of effort.

We give respect and trust, but when someone betrays those gifts, they can easily be taken away. We can choose to give them back if the other person lives in such a way to insure you that your original gift was correct, or we can withhold them forever.

Some folk don't understand the whole "gift" thing to begin with and never enjoy the benefits of respecting or trusting other people.

Ed

Well said.

You're not alone, no one wants to see that. Again, it's not about how we are, it's about how the sick or injured are.

I didn't want to watch my Dad die, nor my Mom, but I wasn't there for me, I was there for them.

Being there was the hardest thing I have had to do, particularly when I was the one who told the doctors to unplug my Dad, but it was the right thing.

Writing Greg's life down for that post wasn't for Greg. It was for us, selfishly, for me.

It was, and is, a way of my grieving.

Ed