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I spoke to a man in my club who's wife died. He had her direct cremated. Her ashes returned in a bag inside a box.

He bought a cremation urn from Walmart, stainless steel. He put her ashes in and used roofing sealant to seal it shut. He dug a hole and poured some concrete in the bottom. He made a wood box from plywood. Inside that box he put in a concrete form tube. He poured concrete between the walls. Then he poured a concrete cap to cover. He draped plastic over the box and set the cap on top. He buried it. Then he bought a small marble marker with her name on it. All this he did in her flower bed next to the house.

He said if he ever moves he will take the marker and urn with him, and do it again wherever he goes. His son's know where it is and should he not leave and die himself they will mix his ashes with hers and dispose of them however they wish. He is currently about 60 years old, his wife died of cancer.

He said he didn't want the urn in his house, didn't want to look at it every day. I can see that.

Is this a bit strange? I can see it, I have no issue with it, but others might see it as strange.

Last edited by Armednfree; 11/22/17.

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Every person handles grief in a different way. Seems to him to be the thing to do, so who are we to question?


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No, it seems like a perfectly normal way to deal with loss.


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Not strange to me.



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Different but his business.


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Strange is 'sharing' another person's grief on the internet.


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She has been gone for a couple years. This is as anonymous as it gets. Not like I called his name out. I found his story useful, I may do the same if Diana dies. A funeral is not going to happen for either of us.


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The part I found strange was Walmart carrying cremains urns.


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Sounds like a plan to me. Not exactly sure what my wife and I want yet, but probably cremation. I'm considering having the ashes of whichever dies first placed in an urn and stored until the the other dies. Then leave instructions for my kids to use the money saved from a funeral for a road trip to scatter our ashes in several places where we have been.


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Walmart carries every thing. It would not surprise me if these con man funeral directors buy from Walmart the jack the price up 1000%.


https://www.walmart.com/ip/Urnsdirect2U-Middleton-Royal-Red-Adult-Cremation-Urn-220-Cu-In/48810572


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I'm a retired funeral director. Walmart is carrying cheaply made Chinese urns. Not to say some funeral homes don't carry those also, but I know where I worked carried high quality urns...and they were high priced too, Marked up double back then, but the same thing is done in virtually every industry with many products.

I saw ashes turned into synthetic diamonds, made into glass paperweights and jewelry, flushed down a toilet, and loaded as buffer into shotgun shells. To each his own.

I know a guy who digs up about half dozen dogs every time he moves...and he's moved a lot!

The dead are honored and grieved over less and less. Not lamenting, just pointing out where our culture is headed. Not many give a **** about parents or grandparents anymore in today's nuclear families. Put on your seat belts.

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One of the stone carvers who spent 30 years on the National Cathadral wanted to bury his wife there.

She wasn’t important enough.

He mixed her ashes in the mortar and put her in one of the highest towers.

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Originally Posted by Armednfree
I spoke to a man in my club who's wife died. He had her direct cremated. Her ashes returned in a bag inside a box.

He bought a cremation urn from Walmart, stainless steel. He put her ashes in and used roofing sealant to seal it shut. He dug a hole and poured some concrete in the bottom. He made a wood box from plywood. Inside that box he put in a concrete form tube. He poured concrete between the walls. Then he poured a concrete cap to cover. He draped plastic over the box and set the cap on top. He buried it. Then he bought a small marble marker with her name on it. All this he did in her flower bed next to the house.

He said if he ever moves he will take the marker and urn with him, and do it again wherever he goes. His son's know where it is and should he not leave and die himself they will mix his ashes with hers and dispose of them however they wish. He is currently about 60 years old, his wife died of cancer.

He said he didn't want the urn in his house, didn't want to look at it every day. I can see that.

Is this a bit strange? I can see it, I have no issue with it, but others might see it as strange.


Seems reasonable to me.

Built her a nice solid shelter with his own hands is a place she enjoyed.

Didn't break the bank.

Wanted to keep her close, but not too close.

And even if I didn't consider his actions reasonable, so long as he's not creating a public health hazard, I would see no reason to substitute my judgement for his.

Last edited by antelope_sniper; 11/22/17.

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I think I might do that in case mine came back to life grin


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Originally Posted by Armednfree
She has been gone for a couple years. This is as anonymous as it gets. Not like I called his name out. I found his story useful, I may do the same if Diana dies. A funeral is not going to happen for either of us.
A funeral is to help those left behind to deal with the loss. They need it for closure and you're depriving them of it. Do it for them.

My 1st wife died of cancer when I was 58. She was also cremated and my potter nephew made an urn. There's a small cemetery about 140 miles from here where many of my relatives are buried. Our family owns a block of plots and we can bury up to 4 urns per plot. We buried the urn there with a headstone. There's no need for a vault or to cover the urn. Pottery will last for centuries. She was a Christian so she's not there anyway. Ashes are just ashes.


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Very touching. The man has a huge heart and it would be an honor to know him.


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Big Lebowski coffee can urns work well...


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Sounds just fine to me.

I've requested that when the time comes my family is to wrap my body in canvas and toss me out of an airplane at 30k feet over the Bob Marshall or remote CO. Rockies so as to impact at terminal velocity, returning my misspent matter back to earth. The kids think the idea is kinda cool but the wife scoffs, muttering something about legal concerns.

I'll probably end up torched and in a box on a closet shelf.

Last edited by SBTCO; 11/22/17.

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20 years ago, my SIL's husband died young. I never knew him but I've heard that he was a real SOB. They lived in Anchorage and he wanted his ashes tossed to the wind from the top of Flattop Mtn just outside of Anchorage. She climbed up there and gave them a toss but a tricky wind blew them all right back in her face and hair. She went home and showered and a good bit of him went down the drain.


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Originally Posted by littlecmonkey
I saw ashes turned into synthetic diamonds, made into glass paperweights and jewelry, flushed down a toilet, and loaded as buffer into shotgun shells. To each his own.


I knew a girl that was widowed at a very young age. Her husband was quite a bit older, and a biker type scumbag.

He got killed in a bike wreck of course... She told me that they had a big party and mixed his ashes into a large doobie, and everyone got high smoking him and the marijuana... She said there were probably enough drungs in his ashes that everyone would have gotten high even if they left the pot out. eek


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