|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,042
Campfire Kahuna
|
OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,042 |
a midget with a hairlip finds a racehorse for sale so he goes to see it.
He tells the man selling the horse that he will have to be lifted up to see what he needs to see, the man agrees.
the midget says " furst i need ta see de eawrs"
the man lifts him up and the midget says "vewy nice vewy nice pewfect fo a wacehorse"
the midget then asks to see the eyes and the man lifts him up getting a little annoyed.
the midget says " vewy nice vewy nice pewfect eyes fo a wacehorse"
the midget says " i need to see the teef and thats all"
the man now extremely angry, lifts him up
the midget says " vewy nice vewy shawp vewy nice teef fo a wacehorse"
the man puts the midget down and the midget says " thewre is one mo fing i need to see, i would like to see hew twat"
The man now really angry says " good here ya go" lifts the horses tail and shoves the midget right in there.
The midget lands on the ground wipes his face and says " let me wephwase mysewf, i would like to see her wun awound da twack."
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,595
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,595 |
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,745
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,745 |
as a kid, that’s one of the first jokes I told my dad, that made him laugh.
Camp is where you make it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,300
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,300 |
An otherwise very good looking girl with a hairlip is at a dance. None of the boys will ask her to dance so she just sits along the wall by herself.
A good looking boy is at the dance. He's missing and eye and has a wood one that he's very self conscious about. Even the slightest mention of it will set him off.
He sees the girl and the hairlip doesn't bother him so he walks over and says "Would you like to dance with me?".
She gets excited and says "Oh would I! WOULD I"
He yells "HAIR LIP, HAIR LIP"
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,096
Campfire Savant
|
|
Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,096 |
Mighty fine, made me chuckle. I used to work with a hairlip plumber. He was hard to understand. He owns Bic Plumbing in south Houston.
Last edited by hanco; 09/13/18.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,289
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,289 |
Har, har , Golden Oldies for sure.  I recall those two from my High School days back in the 1950's, probably haven't heard them since. Thanks for the morning laugh.
Last edited by jnyork; 09/13/18.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,800
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,800 |
Whew! . . . I thought that was going to be a 'midget' joke.
- Pee Wee
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,286
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,286 |
That one would hairlip the Pope.
I am MAGA.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 22,908
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 22,908 |
I guided a guy with a cleft palate. Talked just like that midget. Put him on a bedded bull in the timber at 20 yards. He pulls the trigger, and all that went off on his smokepole was the cap. The bull stampeded the fugk outta there.... He turns to me with wide-eyes and says, " My Gott Tamn gun mithfiwed'.......
I frigging roll, everytime I think about it....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,286
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,286 |
I am MAGA.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,546
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,546 |
A hairlip riding a bus asks the passenger next to him, "Wut time id it?"
No answer.
"Hey, buddy, wut time id it?"
No answer.
At the next stop the hairlip stomps off the bus.
A lady asks the passenger, "I see you have a watch, why didn't you answer?"
The passenger replies, "Wut, an get da snot beat outta me?"
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
Robert Frost
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,593
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,593 |
Washie, washie, washie, in the new blue cheer...
"Chances Will Be Taken"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,096
Campfire Savant
|
|
Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,096 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,131
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,131 |
Dthu ythu thsell bthird thneed?
P
Obey lawful commands. Video interactions. Hold bad cops accountable. Problem solved.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Member #547
Join date 3/09/2001
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 28,373
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 28,373 |
A kid named Mark heard his name called from around the side of the house - Mark! Mark! - but when he went to see who was calling him all he found was a dog with a harelip.
Gunnery, gunnery, gunnery.
Hit the target, all else is twaddle!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,681
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,681 |
thanks for the laughs !
Last edited by 1911a1; 09/13/18.
Figures don't lie, But Liars figure
Assumption is the mother of mistakes
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,016
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,016 |
A kid named Mark heard his name called from around the side of the house - Mark! Mark! - but when he went to see who was calling him all he found was a dog with a harelip. Lmfao!!!
|
|
|
|
|
90 members (10Glocks, 808outdoors, Akhutr, 21, Algotguns, 1973cb450, 9 invisible),
1,502
guests, and
713
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,191,280
Posts18,467,678
Members73,928
| |
Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|
![[Linked Image]](https://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbthreads/gallery/80/medium/45390.png)
