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OP
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I dont do the Facebook thing. I think my blood pressure would overload and I'd have to shoot some family members for the drama they put on there.
My bride is on there reading every day, posting little.
This morning she ran across 2 posts I thought were hilarious.
First was an old man
"My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks."
Second was a black woman talking to her kids in Walmart.
"You're campaigning for a whoopin and about to win
the election."
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Feb 2007
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A couple I've heard.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"
"When you fall out of that tree and break both legs don't come running to me."
Most people don't really want the truth.
They just want constant reassurance that what they believe is the truth.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246 |
You run over your foot with the mower dont come running to me.
My favorite from when I was a kid.
Dad: do you want.a whoopin?
Me: heck no that's a stupid question
(Only answered that one once, got the beating of my life.)
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,173
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,173 |
Sounds like some of Yogi Berra’s infinite wisdom 😜
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246 |
Wherever you go there you are.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,953
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,953 |
One from my grandpa: Chit in one hand, wish in the other then tell me which one fills up faster.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,090
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,090 |
"When teeth became touched with decay or were otherwise ailing, the doctor knew of but one thing to do -- he fetched his tongs and dragged them out. If the jaw remained, it was not his fault." - Twain
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
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Don't let me catch you in the water until you learn to swim.
1Minute
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
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If you cant feed them dont breed them.
The government is not your babies daddy!
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,900
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Don't sweat the petty stuff, or pet the sweaty stuff.........
While it's true that all liberals are crazy people, not all crazy people are liberals.
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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If you cant feed them dont breed them.
The government is not your babies daddy! That's a good one
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,917
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
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Some men's wives are angels. The others are still alive.
Some men have their good points but they keep jabbin' you with 'em like they was spurs.
"To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical." -- Thomas Jefferson
We are all Rhodesians now.
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You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Joined: Feb 2010
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My dad's favorite was nuttier than a [bleep] rat
Last edited by Irving_D; 06/02/19.
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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I was helping my dad in the garden when I was I a kid. While planting potato slips I noticed dad would step on them and press them into the ground as he planted... I noticed this and ask hm why. He said "If you step on them , the potatoes will grow as big as your foot"
I said, " why don't you just set on them and we won't have to plant as many? ... That's when things went down hill pretty quick.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246 |
I was helping my dad in the garden when I was I a kid. While planting potato slips I noticed dad would step on them and press them into the ground as he planted... I noticed this and ask hm why. He said "If you step on them , the potatoes will grow as big as your foot"
I said, " why don't you just set on them and we won't have to plant as many? ... That's when things went down hill pretty quick.
That's a good one.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 16,957
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 16,957 |
Wherever you go there you are. That song makes me grind my teeth. And I'm a Clint Black fan. Except that one.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246 |
Wherever you go there you are. That song makes me grind my teeth. And I'm a Clint Black fan. Except that one. I didn't know that was a Clint song I'll have to look it up. An old man used to tell us youngsters that when we talked about moving somewhere to start over.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 106
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
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Whenever I tell my wife the early bird gets the worm, she says the second mouse gets the cheese...
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,173
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,173 |
Whenever I tell my wife the early bird gets the worm, she says the second mouse gets the cheese... Good one!
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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