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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,787
Campfire Regular
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OP
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,787 |
My wife and I have to head back East tomorrow. My SIL unexpectedly passed away two weeks ago and we have her funeral to attend. The unknown of the trip is who is coming back. She had an 11yr old son whose father has never met him and will need somewhere to live. His father has said that he wants custody, but the boy doesn't want to go with him. Not sure he will even show to be honest. I'm certainly not into denying a father his child, but it's hard to say what's right for him at the moment. Our nephew knows us and his cousins, and has said he would like to live with us for now. He's a good kid and I want the best for him. Should be an interesting trip. Wish me luck!
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,738
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,738 |
I hope it works for the best for all. One of life's tough spots, I'd say.
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,595
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,595 |
Good luck with that.
Sure doesn't sound easy in any way.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,504
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2008
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I’m sorry for the pain and uncertainty that young man is likely feeling right now. He’s lucky to have family that cares enough to ensure that he’ll be taken care of and loved like he deserves. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck on your journey.
�Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician.� �General George S. Patton, Jr.
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~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20,554
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20,554 |
Sounds to me like the best thing for him is to be with you and your wife since dad was never in the picture to begin with, hopefully it works out the best for all involved.
That's ok, I'll ass shoot a dink.
Steelhead
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Joined: Feb 2012
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2012
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Your family sounds like the support he needs right now. God bless him and you for being there for him. Safe trip.
Fear the crabcat.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,164
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,164 |
Sounds to me like the best thing for him is to be with you and your wife since dad was never in the picture to begin with, hopefully it works out the best for all involved. ^^^This^^^ Good luck and Prayers for your family!
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,951
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,951 |
He needs somebody that will be there for him. Someone he can trust to show him how to grow up to me an honorable man. I really feel badly for the little fella. Good luck with everything.Let us know what happens!
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,716
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
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Some friendly advice.
Hire a family lawyer in the venue where the boy lives asap to explore the boy's options.
Some states allow the child depending on their age to have substantial input into the process.
If the dad is a bum and you are lawyered up, dad may give up without even trying.
Always to be prepared with a plan going into a potential conflict like this and understand what is possible and what is not.
Sorry for the boy, but glad he has at least one person in the world that cares for him. Good for you and your wife for having an open heart.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,469
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,469 |
Sounds to me like the best thing for him is to be with you and your wife since dad was never in the picture to begin with, hopefully it works out the best for all involved. ^^^This^^^ Good luck and Prayers for your family! I'd just add that maybe the 'father' slowly work his way in to his sons life.
FJB & FJT
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,627
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,627 |
Wow! Good luck with that!
Mark Begich, Joaquin Jackson, and Heller resistance... Three huge reasons to worry about the NRA.
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 25,850 |
I have the greatest sympathy for that young man. I cannot imagine the fear and uncertainty in his life right now.
It would be nerly impossible to keep then boy from his father's custody at this age, if the father is an upstanding citizen, and if he really wants the boy.
If the Dad is any kind of man, he will want the boy. And he will keep you guys as the deceased Mom's family in the picture. Hopefully a shared custody can be arranged.
Best wishes and good luck to all the bereaved.
People who choose to brew up their own storms bitch loudest about the rain.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,787
Campfire Regular
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OP
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,787 |
We're meeting with a family lawyer on Thursday and should have some answers I hope. It'll all work out one way or the other and if he ends up here, we'll take good care of him. That's all we can do.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 16,076 |
Oh man! That’s a tough spot for everyone involved. Hold your wife tight. She’s going to need the support. You will as well.
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Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,168 |
We're meeting with a family lawyer on Thursday and should have some answers I hope. It'll all work out one way or the other and if he ends up here, we'll take good care of him. That's all we can do. You’re good folks. Wish ya luck.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,653
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,653 |
Wow. I feel for that boy. To be thrown into a living arrangement with a stranger after losing his Mom would be horrible. I hope you can work it out to take him and as someone else said, maybe slowly let the Dad into his life if he's not a complete POS.
The deer hunter does not notice the mountains
"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve" - Isoroku Yamamoto
There sure are a lot of America haters that want to live here...
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,041
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,041 |
My condolences on the loss of your SIL.
Good on you for being willing to take on the boy. fight like hell for that boy.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,733
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,733 |
Best of luck. I hope it works out for the young man's best future.
Will send some prayers his way.
7mm
"Preserving the Constitution, fighting off the nibblers and chippers, even nibblers and chippers with good intentions, was once regarded by conservatives as the first duty of the citizen. It still is." � Wesley Pruden
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 7,511
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 7,511 |
I’m sorry for the pain and uncertainty that young man is likely feeling right now. He’s lucky to have family that cares enough to ensure that he’ll be taken care of and loved like he deserves. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck on your journey. X2!
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,117
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,117 |
Some friendly advice.
Hire a family lawyer in the venue where the boy lives asap to explore the boy's options.
Some states allow the child depending on their age to have substantial input into the process.
If the dad is a bum and you are lawyered up, dad may give up without even trying.
Always to be prepared with a plan going into a potential conflict like this and understand what is possible and what is not.
Sorry for the boy, but glad he has at least one person in the world that cares for him. Good for you and your wife for having an open heart. Good advice here. FWIW, my maternal grand father, raised, or helped to raise 8 or 9 kids, in addition to his own 9 kids, during the Depression, on a coal miner's salary. Everyone worked. Everyone wore hand-me-down clothes. They ate what was put on the table. And they all grew up to be stable productive adults. At the end of the day, your nephew needs a stable, caring home life. Food on the table. A roof over his head. And someone to be there to guide him and watch out for him. Prayer lifted that you have the opportunity to do so...
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